Man in 40s says one of the things he looks for is someone who likes kissing

[Elizo]

This was in messages between us on an app that were previously about what we like doing etc

I find this a bit icky. AIBU?

Thanks for all the replies. We haven’t exchanged many messages so for me alongside saying I look for someone who is bright, bla bla, saying someone who likes kissing seems a bit forward. But I hadn’t realised not liking kissing was common so I suppose I can see it more. Still find it icky.

Glad I’m not the only one 🤣

Is it just very clumsy code for "liking sex"? 🤔

Maybe he is a bad/sloppy kisser and previous partners didn’t like his kisses. Urgh, guess there’s only one way to find out 😉

I take it you'd rather be with someone who didn't want to be too close to you. I quite like that my OH still likes to ķiss and cuddle.

Tbf that was the impression I got from the OP however given the update that you were actually discussing likes in a person/relationship I think it's more reasonable that he said it

For those of you who don’t like kissing but your OH’s do, I imagine they might put something like this on a dating profile if they were ever single again 🤷‍♀️.

I like kissing, but the ‘quality’ (ie is it my style too?) of kissing is so varied. It’s like shoes, if they fit properly you couldn’t imagine life without them, if they don’t then you’ll dislike them intensely.

I’m really intrigued by the fact some people don’t like kissing. Nosily, because I wonder how they do sex without passionate snogging?!

I like kissing. I really like a bloke with a bit of stubble kissing my neck. Not sure I’d message someone to say that. If he’s given you the ick though move on to the next one , you never get over the ick imo.

It's code for 'do you like shagging?' He's testing you out. These conversations shouldn't be had by text ,they'd give me the ick too.

Is this in OLD? I've seen it before, it's so they can then complain if you don't want to kiss, hug or have sex with them. No-one has to write 'I like kissing, hugging or having sex', it's more unusual to not like these things although it can be a matter of preference. People who say this also say Ideal Woman = kind. They don't really want someone kind,they want someone who doesn't make them do 50% of the chores and is critical if they don't. It's all an OLD code and I avoid men who 'like kissing' like the plague. Ikky before you have even started!

Is this in OLD? I've seen it before, it's so they can then complain if you don't want to kiss, hug or have sex with them. No-one has to write 'I like kissing, hugging or having sex', it's more unusual to not like these things although it can be a matter of preference. People who say this also say Ideal Woman = kind. They don't really want someone kind,they want someone who doesn't make them do 50% of the chores and is critical if they don't. It's all an OLD code and I avoid men who 'like kissing' like the plague. Ikky before you have even started!

Sorry I posted twice, no idea how I did that, be great if we had a delete button!

He's just being too forward too quickly and it's obvious he's just dying to have sex.

If you really like him otherwise then just manage his expectations, otherwise move on swiftly.

Me too, and biting 😳
although I must say, only DH 😂
so not a random bloke although if I didn’t have DH this would still be something I could get on board with enjoying from another source I suppose!

Can I just say I'm so done with dating apps and the weird behaviour/statements they seem to trigger? I know, I know- it can happen in real life, too.

Just to add: I said it further up (along with others) but now I've thought about it, in the male mind this is code for sex. Because, unlike us women, they never want just kissing, do they? They almost always get hard and want sex. So that's likely what he means, I believe.

Personally I shudder when men put on their OLD profile they love kissing and cuddling or that they’re tactile.

Surely most people like to kiss and hug when the time is right but to specifically mention It comes across that they want to grope and paw you on demand.

Yep. And I just think they’re the type who expect to ram their tongue down your throat on the first date regardless of how it goes

I think it's flirting and I think it's a weird thing to add to a list of "I like socialising, riding my bike, reading books and kissing". Definitely trying to push the conversation to a flirtatious next step and if you take that step, I'm sorry but I think he'll get more flirtatious / creepy. I understand people like kissing but surely you talk about it when you're talking about other intimate stuff or once it's clear that's on the radar?

This is bang on. I wonder if some of the posters who think it’s fine have spent less recent time OLD. He’s gone. As one poster said, you can’t get past an ick

This doesn't give me the ick at all, I'd hate to be with someone who wasn't that affectionate and didn't like closeness and kissing.

Same it can't be normal to put someone else's tongue in your mouth?!? The older I get the more I feel it too

but now I've thought about it, in the male mind this is code for sex. Because, unlike us women, they never want just kissing, do they?

OH (well we) enjoy sitting together having a cuddle watching a film or sometimes just snuggling up in bed.