Man in 40s says one of the things he looks for is someone who likes kissing

[Elizo]

This was in messages between us on an app that were previously about what we like doing etc

I find this a bit icky. AIBU?

Can't see an issue myself. Love a bit of recreational snogging.

It’s the sex positive ones that make me shudder - it’s just all a bit cringey when older men feel the need to advertise ‘ I like sex I do’

Its something we would all expect in a relationship no need to point it out to random strangers

Sounds like someone in his past thought he was a bad kisser.

The thing I find off-putting about him stating that he likes kissing is that it feels more about the act of kissing than the person.

I like kissing someone I'm really into, but it's because it's them, not because I just want to kiss people.

It feels a bit forced to kind of 'plan' the kissing when you're just at the messaging stage rather than letting it occur naturally as the relationship progresses.

Absolutely. Then when they grope you constantly they’ll tell you you can’t complain because they told you upfront they were tactile or whatever.

Anyone who’s OLD profile mentions how much they love kissing/cuddling etc will usually turn out to be a sex pest

I’m 38, my partner is 40, we both love kissing and we do it all the time. We spent the entirety of our third date snogging on my sofa. By the fourth date our clothes had fallen off and the rest is history.

Imagine trying to find the red flag in someone liking a snog.

😂🤢🐙

Nah, I think you’ll find there’s a lot of people on Mumsnet who are horrified by the idea of sex.

I think there's a big difference between saying "I like kissing you" to someone you've kissed and saying "I like kissing" in general to someone you haven't even met in person yet.

He’s not the one for you if you don’t feel the same.

@amoreoamicizia

no. It's not.

I would immediately assume he has read what women like in relationships in a magazine and feels this is a way to charm women

He will probably tell you he likes country walk too and having new experiences

Yes would give me the ick and will probably lead to what he likes in bed talk 🤢🙄

I think he’s letting the OP know that if she’s a quick and awkward peck on the cheek type then it’s not going to work.

DP and I were both upfront about being very tactile, affectionate and really valuing physical touch, it has worked well for us to have been so candid.

Neither of us wanted to be in relationships again so these things were dealbreakers.

If I’d gone on a date with someone and they’d said “oh yeah, I like a kiss, not that full blown snogging like teenagers” then I’d not have seen that person again.

Best to just put it all out there in OLD if you like kissing or something weird or strange habits or whatever, best to just put it out there and someone can get the ick and move on quickly without anyone’s time being wasted if they’re not keen

Yep this. I love kissing someone I’ve got a connection with but equally the thought of kissing some random makes me gag.

I went on a date recently with a man who said he was ‘affectionate’ turns out his idea of affection was pushing me up against the wall of the car park, attempting to ram his tongue down my throat and telling me he was going to have a wank when he got home thinking about my tits - he was 58!

Haha. That's quite a leap. 😂Mention kissing first, if that goes well, break out the dick pics.

Sexless/affectionless relationships again *

I think it's valid, because some people don't like kissing

If you've got the ick, you've got the ick - and let's be honest, it won't have been just for that single comment. Next...