AIBU to think stretch marks have ruined my life

[Wantachangefor2024]

I posted my first ever thread two and a half months ago. I weighed 15 stone. In these past few months I have lost two stone. However, instead of feeling more positive, I have stretchmarks that run from my pubic area right upto my belly button. All on my bum and thighs. How many of you ladies out there have them this bad? I look at social media and their holiday photos from this summer…just perfect skin. I feel like I’ll never be attractive, I’ve read up about every “cure” out there and this is something it seems can’t be fixed.

You'd be surprised how many "imperfections" are edited out on social media.
Own your tiger stripes - personally I love them on people.
Most people have them.

Follow Victoria Hearn on Insta! She's always talking about this and showing off her stripes :)

I have loads!

You're by no means in any sort of minority by having stretch marks – at all. And I'd suggest you are looking through a terribly negative lens at this. The most I've weighed is 11.5st and I have stretch marks on my bum, thighs, upper arms, belly boobs ... having twins added a couple more to my belly. I don't give them a second thought and you shouldn't either.

Your body cannot be 'ruined' by a stretch mark or a blemish or a sag – your body's purpose is not to look good, its purpose is to function in keeping you alive.

Having stretch marks doesn't make you unattractive. I think that we are so much more aware of them than other people, particularly men.

Congratulations on your weight loss, I know what a hard slog it can be.

My 18 year old son has stretch marks on his belly that look like he's been stabbed. This is just from growing, it can't be helped really but they do fade

If you really believe that stretch marks are ruining your life, you sound like you need therapy.

I have some mild stretch marks. They look hideous and I certainly don't want to 'own them'. So many celebs we see don't have any of these. I would love to be able to get rid of them.

Sorry OP, no help. But huge well done on the weight loss.

They will fade naturally so they'll hardly be noticeable. Comparing yourself to other's bodies is never good for self esteem or mental health. Focus on you and your self worth. .

Do you think you might be being a tad over dramatic suggesting that looking slightly less than model perfect in a bikini during one week a year is ruining your life?

Putting fake tan on covers them pretty well. Wear a more substantial swim suit. Don’t put swimwear photos on social media.

well done on your weight loss.

There's no cure, but they do fade over time.

One thing people never talk about when loosing a significant amount of weight, especially reasonably quickly, is that it takes time to mentally catch up and accept your new figure. Especially if you've had the mindset of "I'll love myself when I'm thinner". But, in my experience, it doesn't work like that. Even the thinnest people have body hang ups.

Be kind to yourself, appreciate the things that you feel better about now you've lost the weight. Maybe go and buy new outfit and underwear in your new size and feel good about yourself

Loads of people have stretch marks! I think saying they've ruined your life is a bit OTT. I can't say my stretch marks (of which I have many!) have ever materially affected my enjoyment of life. How often in your day-to-day life are you in a situation where random people can even see them?

I don't post pics of myself in swimwear on social media, stretch marks or not.

The thing with social media is that it's not reflective of actual reality, is it. Famous influencers are disproportionately 'perfect' as that's part of the reason they become so well known, and honestly editing apps and tools are wild! If social media is affecting you negatively then delete it, most people don't actually look like their posts either.

Stretch marks aren't bad though, they tend to fade and personally never met anyone who has seemed to feel strongly about them- what makes you so worried about them? 2 stone weight loss is brilliant!

I don't think I know of a single adult woman who doesn't have stretch marks of some description - they're normal.

Use bio oil until you've finished losing weight and a good retinol cream. Use a home RF treatment device. After 12 months that's what you're left with. If you're still not happy then look into salon laser or RF treatments. You'll always have something but eventually just silvery white lines that fake tan disguises well.

Congratulations on your weight loss! 2 stone is a big achievement!

Try micro needling, it made such a big difference to mine and really tightened up the skin.

If stretch marks have ruined your life, it didn't have far to go in the first place.

I feel for you OP. Yes I have similar stretch marks. They are slightly less bad now but still unsightly.

The main thing is I felt how you do now 2-3 years ago and I don't care anywhere near as much. Mostly because my life is so good that the physical part comes second. I still love my body and have my health. A friend close to me died young which also affected my outlook on what matters.

It will get better. I also found the reddit/tiger stripes or similar to be helpful. Body confident women with stretch marks. Well done on your weight loss.

I have absolutely no idea if I have stretch marks, neither do I care, and having them or not will not affect my happiness in any way.
My point is, it isn't the stretch marks that are 'ruining your life' , it's your mindset that is attributing so much value to it, that is.

3DC and not a single stretch mark. What I do have is a 30cm scar right down the centre from my chest plus several smaller scars from drains, central lines, etc. I'm proud of those scars, please be proud of yours. Look what they resulted in. For me my scars represent survival against the odds several times over.

Try bio oil.
I use it as a winkle cream my aunt told me about it years ago when i ask how do you look so young.
It works wonders.

This. Not to be preachy, but when you've nearly died twice, had multiple abdominal surgeries (with a scar up the centre of your stomach) stretchmarks (which is have too) pale into insignificance. I don't see my scarred body as ruined I see it as strong for pulling me through. Surely stretchmarks can be covered anyway or seen as a celebration of life.

I developed stretch marks over most of my body just going through puberty, so I have lived with them for most of my life. I used to be extremely self conscious, thought no one would find me attractive, even tried laser procedures to try to remove them (didn’t work). I had them on the backs of my knee area and back of upper calves as well and even though I have nice legs I refused to wear shorts. As it turns out, no one I dated cared whatsoever. I’m now in my 40s, happily married to a man who calls them my ‘tiger stripes’, wear shorts with reckless abandon, and honestly care very little about my stretch marks now!

Things that ruin your life are cancer and the death of a close one.

Grow up.

I agree with this. Can you explain how they have actually ruined your life?

Perhaps try and take half a step back. If you were most focused on weight then lost weight then focused on stretch marks then what is this telling you about your way of thinking and whether it is helpful to you? If you 'were able to fix' your stretch marks as in your OP then what would happen next?

Good luck.