AIBU to think stretch marks have ruined my life

[Wantachangefor2024]

I posted my first ever thread two and a half months ago. I weighed 15 stone. In these past few months I have lost two stone. However, instead of feeling more positive, I have stretchmarks that run from my pubic area right upto my belly button. All on my bum and thighs. How many of you ladies out there have them this bad? I look at social media and their holiday photos from this summer…just perfect skin. I feel like I’ll never be attractive, I’ve read up about every “cure” out there and this is something it seems can’t be fixed.

Don't be ridiculous. In what way are they ruining your life?
I have loads and don't give a shit.

Bit dramatic.

Fine to be disappointed with them, sure it is disappointing. But is “ruining my life” hyperbole or do you really feel that? If so you genuinely need to work through that.

Do people really think it's helpful to be so bloody rude?

The OP clearly has self esteem issues regarding the stretchmarks so comments about cancer and "grow up" are really just nasty and unhelpful. Does it make you feel better to be so spiteful? If so, maybe take a long hard look at yourself.

There are plenty of things that can ruin your life….terminal illnesses….debilitating health conditions…..living in an abusive environment……or a war torn country ……honestly? ….stretch marks do not come into this category ……you need to find a way to live with them OP and be grateful that’s your biggest worry

It's a mindset. I have stretchmarks, scars, a deformity. My body functions well though and I am very grateful that it is mine. Never once have I considered my life ruined.

Perhaps change your mindset too?

I’ve got big red stretch marks all over my tummy from having a baby. It is what it is…

social media is so heavily edited no point comparing to them

I have really, really bad stretch marks (3 kids plus significant weight gain, then loss). Genuinely they don’t bother me at all. I feel like maybe I should be bothered, but I’m not. I look good clothed, and that’s how most people see me!
Are you the poster who was really worried about loose skin if you lost weight?
What aspect of your life in particular have the stretch marks ruined?

I have plenty, hips, boobs, thighs.. I've had 3 DC. I know plenty of people who haven't had DC and also have them. There is nothing to be ashamed about, nothing at all. You should learn to love them, not feel as though they are ruining your life. Stop looking for a cure and learn to love yourself and the body you're in. Stretch marks are beautiful! 💜

Your disordered thinking is ruining your life, not your stretch marks or what weight you are.

There are plenty of happy, fulfilled, confident loved women out there with all sorts of bodies. It is not your body that needs to change but your mindset.

I've had them all over my arse and thighs since puberty (never gained significant weight, I was just a tiny skinny kid and womanly hips hit suddenly). I've long, long ago stopped caring, and they've long ago faded to silvery lines.

They are really no big deal.

If stretch marks are the biggest problem you have, then your life is a very long way from ruined.

That's a very extreme way to view something that's incredibly normal. Maybe take a step back from social media.

If you really feel this way, then what is ruining your life is your lack of confidence and your fixation on how you look. Yes, many or most of us are impacted by how we look. But to claim stretch marks as life ruining is outside the bounds of normal and healthy. I would genuinely recommend finding a therapist to talk to about this, you won’t be happy until you change how you feel about yourself.

I’ve got some from weight gain during pregnancy, on my boobs and stomach.
I certainly don’t love them and I can’t get on board with all this twee bullshit about loving them because they house my babies and allowed them growth - it’s all crap.
My dh has dc and he hasn’t ended up with stretch marks.
But I do just accept that they’re there now and there’s fuck all I can do about them. I still wear swimwear on holiday that would enable anyone that looks at me to be able to see them. I don’t have any negative comments made to me about them.
I think I’m just indifferent about them. I have them in the same way that I have fingernails and eyelashes.

Use bio oil everyday. They will fade and it will help with preventing more

I look at social media and their holiday photos from this summer…just perfect skin.

Why are you comparing edited and carefully curated photos of other people to your 'raw footage' in the mirror?

Obviously you'll feel unattractive if you're kidding yourself that people on social media are indiscriminately posting random photos of themselves and aren't editing them or choosing the most flattering ones.

The average person isn't posting pics of their flaws and imperfections on social media, so you're not comparing like with like.

Stretch marks do not ruin lives. Bereavement, cancer, major accidents, addictions etc ruin lives. FFS

Am I being dim, are you saying you have stretch marks from losing weight? Surely it's the opposite and before you were bigger and you had stretch marks, both of which you didn't like and now you've got rid of one thing you don't like (the bigger) so you are down from 2 things to 1 thing so that is a win - hooray!

Can you elaborate on what ruining your life means. How does it affect you day to day; is it that you want to post photos on social media and you can't or are you naked a lot? Because if not, how often are you showing the area from your pubic area up to your belly button? I think people are struggling with the hyperbole of the comment.

I had bright red stretch marks just from growing at 17, I was tiny, size 8 and did a lot of exercise. They fade to silvery lines with time and then disappear IME. My boyfriend at the time thought he'd scratched me 😂he was just happy that he hadn't inflicted them!

I think you need a bit of perspective, you will have statistically improved your life and your health by losing weight. Social media photos aren't real, they're all filtered and air brushed.

I think @Butterflyfern might be right. OP, have you convinced yourself if you looked perfect your life would be perfect and now you are dieting to lose weight to get to that goal, you still won’t look perfect and therefore your life is still ruined?

thing is, losing weight won’t fix your life, it will be the same life lived in a smaller dress size.

Nearly everyone has stretch marks. If not from babies then from teenage growth spurts. Even models because they’re so much taller than average. How often do you wear anything skimpy enough to show them anyway? They’re not ruining your life. Whatever is wrong, the cause is something else.

Stretch marks have both ruined your living your life through social media has

Work out what is really important and focus on that

Don’t really care about or even notice mine. I’ve had 5 children, smallest was 8lbs5 and biggest was 10lbs3 so my abdomen has been stretched to its absolute limit and is pretty wrecked. Yet I have 5 healthy kids so does it really matter?

No one is perfect, images you see in the media are most often edited as I’m sure you know. Everyone has stretch marks, scars, moles, spots, saggy skin, wrinkles, grey hair… It makes us human.