To feel totally overwhelmed by all the ‘occasions’

[Liverpoolgirl50]

Christmas Eve boxes, Easter bunny presents, ‘boo baskets’, pumpkin picking, Halloween light trails, cake smashes, birthday parties. Jesus it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.

I swear it’s getting worse too. Every time I go on social media there’s something new. Christmas toy workshops, Halloween kiddy afternoon tea, meet Santa at breakfast, teddy bear picnics at the garden centre, the polar express! I feel totally utterly overwhelmed by it all sometimes.

We are lucky that we can afford to treat our DD but where is the cut off and how much of this stuff is normal and expected now? I’m thankful we only have 1! FWIW, she’s only 2 so we can get away with doing minimal stuff at the moment but are kids going to grow up expecting it?

As a kid we got one Easter egg and were happy 😂

Christmas, Easter [one egg], birthdays and sometimes Halloween/fireworks night if we are around.

We have never visited Santa, gone to a theme park, done Christmas Eve boxes or anything similar for other occasions. They've had a handful of proper class birthday parties but not even every other year. My kids want for very little but I agree, the level of modern noise is batshit. It is possible to completely swerve it all and save your sanity.

There is an Instagram blogger called ShabazSays who is worth looking up. He takes the piss out of all this crap and is a really useful reminder that not only is it excessive it is often obscene.

I think it's helpful to remember, all of the events listed can be celebrated without excessive cost. All of the bullshit that comes with them was just created by a company with a good marketing team that was then copied!

I never understand why it's ok to "take the piss" and be downright mean and unkind to people who enjoy all this stuff, but it would never ever happen the other way. I would never judge anyone who didn't want to buy into lots of things like this. Surely all that matters is people do what makes them and their family happy.

I think we are probably in a happy medium. Don't have Instagram or anything like that but do use FB (family and friends only).
We do an Easter basket - one egg with a few little extras like a story book, Colouring Book, some bubbles and then an egg hunt (we did one for charity this year for a friends little boy).
DS6 has had a couple of Birthday parties, DD3 is having her first one next year.
Love Halloween, we decorate the house and have a themed party tea with spooky food. No presents but usually buy a spooky Halloween book to read on the night. We also really enjoy a visit to a Pumpkin Patch - we get one each to carve.
We enjoy Lots and lots of days out, theme parks, zoos, trips, holidays, theatre, lights displays, special events etc We both work long hard jobs and every bit of spare money is spent doing stuff together. Most weekends we do something.
Christmas - I LOVE Christmas 🎄 We do the Elf - makes the kids laugh! Nothing elaborate or SM worthy but he does little fun things. We do Christmas Eve box which is new pjs (not Christmas themed) a book, some crafts and a hot chocolate/snack.
This year we've booked: Disney on Ice, Pantomime (local inexpensive one), Polar Express, Farm visit.
Only on MN would doing nice things with your kids be described as obscene.

You do you 🤷 wouldn't work for some, does work for you, at the end of the day if you're doing it and it's working for you then why does anyone elses opinion matter?

Of course you want nice memories but nice memories come from fun, unique, special moments, not carefully planned instagram opportunities in order to ‘make memories’. Plan to enjoy the present moment and the memories will come.

If it helps, this is what I do out of your list.

Christmas Eve boxes - No
Easter bunny presents - No
‘boo baskets’ - Not sure what these are but No
pumpkin picking - occasionally, it can be quite nice, not essential
Halloween light trails - No
Cake smashes - eh?
Birthday parties - Yes
Christmas toy workshops -No
Halloween kiddy afternoon tea - we do trick or treating but didn't until they were older
Meet Santa at breakfast - No
teddy bear picnics at the garden centre - No
The polar express - did this once with one of the children. Not inclined to again.

Easter Eggs, Christmas presents and birthday parties are all we really do. I did not do Elf on the Shelf. I do like Christmas eve being a family evening, as this is what I grew up doing.

You didn't put bog standard meeting Father Christmas and we of course did this but not an expensive one and one visit per year is enough, as I found out to my cost when my children started querying why Santa looked different every time they saw him one year.

OP - it's not just the children either!

An old person like me rolls their eyes at all the going away to get engaged, engagement parties, hen parties, Hollywood weddings, gender reveal parties, baby showers, christenings etc etc etc which I read about on MN.

Call me a killjoy, sure, but to me it sounds absolutely exhausting, horrifically competitive, very expensive and driven mostly by social media.

I'm glad I was young when I was young...

Yes it's a joke but not compulsory.
Christmas Eve boxes were bought out just to try and get more money out of parents.
You do not need new pajamas, a bath bomb, chocolate in a box just because it's Xmas Eve.

Retailers are thinking of more and more things to try and get people to part with their money.
Kids get far too much from Santa, their parents and grandparents etc on the day itself without adding to it.
We managed perfectly well years ago, and we had a plain advent calendar with pics only, no presents or chocs inside and we were happy.
The more you give people and the more you create the worse it gets.
The .ore they want and expect.

Engagements, engagement parties / drinks, weddings, hen parties, and christenings were all around long before social media!

None of it’s mandatory. Chose what sounds fun to you and ignore the rest.

It's all just part of the Insta/Consumer mindset.. promotes people constantly spending money with the image it will make them feel good, make happy memories etc. It's nonsense. Spending money, constantly doing something "extra' doesn't make chikdren any happier. In fact I think it would create unrealistic expectations of a constant consumer buzz and typical withdrawal symptoms if this isn't provided.
I have 3 kids from 6 to 10. Only did 2 off your list.
(full disclosure..... I do do something Christmassy every day in December (instead of advent calendars) but they are very simple.... learn a chrustmas song, write a card to someone, watch a Christmas movie, take a walk around the neighbourhood after dark etc.)
So you can just ignore any activities that don't appeal to you.

Similar to here.
Birthday presents and cake. A party. No balloon arches.
Christmas presents and a stocking. Board games.
We carve a supermarket pumpkin and the kids dress up. Tried taking the kids to a pumpkin patch but it became too commercialised.
Fireworks night but ideally a round table event with no fairground.
We cook a meal together on Chinese New Year with some old lanterns I ordered during COVID.
Likewise, we have heart table confetti on Valentine's Day.
Easter egg hunt.

I believe in not making a rod for my own back, so engage with none of this.

Do what you want to do.
Don’t do what you don’t. It’s not that hard.
Don’t be a slave to conformity. Most people don’t do all of this crap anyway and at the bottom of it is over-consumption.

Honestly, I love this stuff. My kid on the other hand doesn't really give a shit. It is definitely more for the parents rather than the kids.

Pick and choose what you do. We do a Christmas Eve box as I like the idea and it's pretty easy for us but we don't do any gifts for Easter (just a chocolate egg) or Halloween (just sweets from Trick or Treat or our leftover ones) and we don't decorate for Halloween. When I see stuff on social media I can think how pretty but too much work for me!

Wtf is a boo box? 😂

💸💸💸💸

I have 10 and 14yo and have done birthday parties off your list. The rest is bollocks that people only do for the insta likes.

I love many of those things. And we did and still do many many visits. Some of these things cost money, some do not

I have a similar background. I can give my children a far more privileged upbringing than I have. The conflict is real.

I frame it as you need to think about what you want. £200 on breakfast with Santa in a shitty garden centre , or save for proper experience -travel, safari, skiing whatever you like.

I did some of your list with toddlers. It was fun. It passed the day. But it's not what has guided them into being the people they are now. They don't remember it really. The photos are nice but half as much would have been fine too.

I've done none of these things and my kids are still above averagely privileged.

Yes to Santa (age2-7ish), couple of Easter eggs, lots of sports theatre and travel. Lot of national trust days out or farm parks. An outfit for Halloween & some basic decorations.

Rare bigger trips like CBeebies hotel & world / Harry Potter studios etc.

Never done Xmas Eve baskets, Easter bunnies, boo baskets or really any of the hamper stuff. No elf on the shelf or payments for basic life requirements like reading or homework or chores.

I totally know what you mean. There is no end to it.
Always some occasion and something to pay for.
It's crazy when you consider how we were raised 30 odd years ago.
My parents didn't celebrate much at all. No Halloween, £100 present budget for Christmas (my mother told me years later) and a couple of sparklers in the garden on bonfire night- we were happy with it.

My advice is to go for what you fancy and leave the rest.
Ie. I'll never take DD to Lapland for Christmas but I love the fancy dress and decorating the house for Halloween.
Step away from social media if you need to.
And bugger elf on the shelf. I'm 7 years refusal this year. Load of rubbish 😊

Totally agree with you. I absolutely hate Halloween.. my kids absolutely love to go trick or treating but I absolutely hate walking round knocking on people's doors, I try to do everything to try and dissuade them but they really love the whole thing. As for the Xmas eve boxes , I'm not starting that it's expensive enough as it is, I'm also sick of all this gender reveal crap and big extravagant baby showers, all just bullshit to get likes on Facebook or something

This!!

Mine are thankfully 17 and 20 now...I feel for this new generation...