To feel totally overwhelmed by all the ‘occasions’

[Liverpoolgirl50]

Christmas Eve boxes, Easter bunny presents, ‘boo baskets’, pumpkin picking, Halloween light trails, cake smashes, birthday parties. Jesus it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.

I swear it’s getting worse too. Every time I go on social media there’s something new. Christmas toy workshops, Halloween kiddy afternoon tea, meet Santa at breakfast, teddy bear picnics at the garden centre, the polar express! I feel totally utterly overwhelmed by it all sometimes.

We are lucky that we can afford to treat our DD but where is the cut off and how much of this stuff is normal and expected now? I’m thankful we only have 1! FWIW, she’s only 2 so we can get away with doing minimal stuff at the moment but are kids going to grow up expecting it?

As a kid we got one Easter egg and were happy 😂

Most of this stuff is just commercialised nonsense. Did you have boo baskets, Christmas Eve boxes, pumpkin picking, and cake smashes when you were a kid? If not, do you honestly feel you missed out? Just don't fall for it.

It's the 21st century's version of perpetual motion, invent a 'special day ' and there will be many daft enough to fall into the trap, especially if you offer photos for social media! There seem to be those who measure being a good parent by how many strangers like you online. Every year there's yet another way to part fools and their money.

Surely making memories and setting family traditions go hand in hand? I like making memories, I just don't call it that coz nowadays everything has to have a special hashtagable name 🙄

America America America

The memories are for the adults really. DD doesn't remember a lot of childhood things we did with her.

Influencers on social media market the holidays now, as a way for them to make money off of you on affiliate links and freebies.

You can celebrate occasions without excessive consumption though.
I love to make a fuss of seasons and events, it’s the little things that make daily life more special. I will always theme crafts around Halloween, Christmas, Easter, we will make seasonal snacks, watch seasonal movies etc but I don’t buy a load of themed tat unnecessarily and make weird boxes or baskets.
I don’t feel any pressure, if I see cute Halloween or Christmas pjs I might pick them up but there’s no obligation.

You've missed out the Winter Solstice witch fest of 22nd Dec

I have a 21 year old and he doesn't remember doing any of those things. If it wasn't for the pictures, he would claim he never went to see Santa.

So I would recommend you do a few things that you all enjoy and ignore the rest.

We socialised with other families, so managed to give ours the latter, but in a slightly more controlled way.

They still had fires on the beach, and built dens, but the parents all joined in.

No Christmas Eve boxes, but all the families went out to eat, then to the Christingle service at church.

Easter treasure hunt by the river- find the clues and there’s one egg each at the end.

Likeminded friends are a godsend!!

Do other magical things, I am/was the mum who’s party bag is just a piece of cake and a balloon. make your own special times to remember.

we had other things, ie. Boxing Day, was stay at home, play with your toys and if you wanted to eat chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner you could. (But just that one day a year, and because I loved it too).

It's capitalism wanting you to spend money on useless shit that no one really cares about. Also performative social media bs. Just don't do it

I think when your child is little and just starting to sort of be aware of these things, it's easy to feel like you should do it.

But just....don't. If your friends ask, just say it's not your cup of tea or something. Pad it out with, we get enough stuff for birthdays and Xmas without needing any more 'events'!

Whatever you do, don't get dragged into it now because she might remember it next year and then you have to continue until she's in her 40s!

Don’t (various posters) get lazy and blame “America”. Half my family are American, they do very little of this. It’s commercialisation, much of which may start in America as a very large market.

I thought I was addicted to social media but even I haven’t heard of a couple of these!

I know quoting poetry in AIBU is about as sickening as a boo basket, but this one has always stuck with me. I do worry that so many parents aim for extraordinary at every occasion, their children never get a chance to value ordinary.

Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.

So glad that none of this was a 'thing' when my kids were younger!
Halloween was Trick or Treat to the neighbours and that was it.
Egg hunt on Easter Sunday
Visit to the local farm to see Santa in the barn.
That was it. Those times of year are expensive anyway without all the days out, polar expresses, and winter wonderlands as it is.
My kids are grown up and I can honestly say that they don't feel deprived and have not suffered socially or emotionally because they never experienced them....

Yes, love this.

Someone asked me a few years ago what I wanted DS to be when he grows up. I replied that I'd love him to be content and they were so dismissive that that wasn't a proper answer! I think it's a great thing to be. DH is content, he's ambitious sort of at work but mostly whatever he gets he's happy with and has this zen way of looking at the world. I'm always striving/wondering how things could be better and it's blooming exhausting. Would take contentment any day

To be fair a few friends started the Elf and found it too much so the elf just didn't come back. Only one of the kids questioned it, and I think the response was 'well I guess you guys must have been good enough already that you don't need supervision this year!' or something. Job done!

My sister keeps threatening to send one here though. Am not down with it at all. Think it would be a royally dick move to introduce it against the parents wishes 😅

We should start a thread on 'fun' things NOT to start with DCs.

Do not put a Xmas stocking at the end of the bed - or you end up creeping around at 2am waiting for them to be in a deep sleep and are knackered the next day.
Do not have an Xmas elf - just more stress remembering to do hilariously funny situation for him each night.
Do not go on night walks with glo sticks if child is too tired or nervous of the dark.
See Santa once over Xmas - once is enough.
.......

Sounds like bollocks to me which will lead to spoilt children who can’t entertain themselves.

I actually love the elf. I don't do big productions though.

I wouldn't bother-they won't remember! My DS is 14 and he can't remember lots of things we did for him that stressed me out at the time 😂 They remember a 'feeling' and if they have a happy childhood but not 'stuff'. Being a caring, loving parent isn't about doing all the things you listed for them. Just love them and do as little or as much of these occasion things as you want.
And limit your time on social media if you're going to compare yourself-it just makes us unhappy.

That poem is brilliant @TimelyIntervention - I’m going to share that widely!

I don’t use social media so largely avoid this bullshit nowadays. I can’t believe how much a lot of the ‘experiences’ cost to be honest, it’s eye watering and of course companies can charge it because parents wanting pics for the gram will pay whatever! I saw tickets to see FC at one place were £50 per child but then also £30 per adult so you know, a casual £160 for an average family of four to see FC. Batshit.

Ive never heard of half the things you mention. Just ignore them!

Exactly!

This is the impression being created what seems to be a very powerful industry with a lot of resource to throw at advertising.