To feel totally overwhelmed by all the ‘occasions’

[Liverpoolgirl50]

Christmas Eve boxes, Easter bunny presents, ‘boo baskets’, pumpkin picking, Halloween light trails, cake smashes, birthday parties. Jesus it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.

I swear it’s getting worse too. Every time I go on social media there’s something new. Christmas toy workshops, Halloween kiddy afternoon tea, meet Santa at breakfast, teddy bear picnics at the garden centre, the polar express! I feel totally utterly overwhelmed by it all sometimes.

We are lucky that we can afford to treat our DD but where is the cut off and how much of this stuff is normal and expected now? I’m thankful we only have 1! FWIW, she’s only 2 so we can get away with doing minimal stuff at the moment but are kids going to grow up expecting it?

As a kid we got one Easter egg and were happy 😂

You know the answer- get off that type of social media. I don’t recognise half of what you describe. I’m not on Instagram or Facebook.

I don’t actively search for it, a lot of it is things my friends are doing with their children.

I don't actually know what some of that stuff is and I have a 5 year old.

Just don't do it.

You don't have to do any of it.

Make your own annual celebrations and stick to them. The rest is just 'noise'.

We are duty bound to make our children's lives a magical mystery tour of adventure, events and surprises.
It's the substitute for outdoor freedom and play that previous generations enjoyed.

Take a big step back from social media and live in the moment.

Zone it out and ignore.

If other people want to do it, fine. But it's not necessary or compulsory.

Just mute the people who are prone to it. Then it no longer exists. Focus on other things.

Top tip - don't ever start the elf - you'll be tied to it for 10 years!

Best ignored really. Just do one or two things if they really appeal. Switch off social media.

Who cares what nonsense other people get up to?

The only thing we did from your list was birthday parties. Only from age 5 to 10 for dc1 and only a couple for dc2.

My kids definitely haven't missed out by my not pandering to all that bullshit.

You merely have to resist.

haha yes great example @ticktickticktickBOOM bloody elf on the shelf. Like I would have time to position an elf in between working and parenting.

I know you’re all right - ignoring is the best way forward. Maybe it’s the circles I run in as well. But it does feel like it’s everywhere.

You don't have to engage with any of this! I don't. IME it just stresses kids out more often than not.

We make birthdays cakes, do an Easter egg hunt, carve a supermarket pumpkin, go trick or treating and we have a Christmas tree/dinner/presents plus family get togethers but that's it. My kids love all this. We've never been to see Santa, done Easter bunny stuff, Xmas eve boxes or presents on days that are not birthdays or Christmas.

Kids love the anticipation and the activities/spending time together. The things you mentioned are all about "stuff" and spending money, kids don't need that or appreciate it really and it leaves them less satisfied with more simple things sadly.

Tune it out and focus on creating your own memories and enjoying life.

Growing up we went away at Christmas and had lots of gifts, but the traditions I really remember and cherish are baking Christmas buns to bring to our grandparents, going to the garden centre to see the Xmas decorations, and rating all of our neighbours trees in their windows!

You do know all that isn't compulsory? It's meant to be enjoyable doing fun things with your children so why on earth are you trying to keep up with the Joneses if you find it overwhelming?

None of that is compulsory (or, indeed, normal or expected). If you don't start doing it, your DD won't grow up expecting it.

FWIW, I've found my children enjoy treats/celebrations more because they don't happen every day. Constant treats and presents aren't special.

You don't have to do something because it's being advertised or marketed!!! I can watch trailers for a tv show or film and not feel forced to watch it or walk past an advert for Greggs and not feel compelled to eat a sausage roll.

Do what feels good for your family and ignore the rest. In 3 or 4 years time when your DC is old enough to read the ads you will have established your own family traditions and will be able to tell them "that's for other people. We don't do that'. Or conversely, you might try one of those things and absolutely love it.

Incidentally 1 Easter egg seems on the low side. I grew up in the sixties and even back then we'd get 4 or 5 from various relations.

Mine are young adults now and we did about a third of that stuff. In my experience, too much of it spoils the excitement of the real good stuff.

We had a small present on Christmas Eve and a film, and then the big day!! A few eggs at Easter, and a hunt round the Grandparents garden. And birthdays, which literally were just a day.

I love going to see pumpkins in October, but I certainly wouldn't be spending any money on Halloween. All that sort of stuff can be handmade.

We can easily afford all that but I refuse to do most of it. This just takes away the feeling of a treat or anything special if every single thing is to be celebrated. Kids will just learn to expect and not appreciate anything.

I've seen it become more ridiculous with period pamper boxes, back to school hamper, graduation day party from nursery, hampers for stupid things and so on. It's all just ridiculous now.

Yes, this!

Yet another thread where the first poster nails it.

The more you do the more they'll come to expect. Less is more can be all too true.

No-one makes you do it.

I come from a very low income background and so we didn’t do any of it. We did drive around late at night looking at Christmas lights, which we used to love.

I think because we are now in a privileged position, I feel the pressure to do all of those things, give her all of the ‘experiences’. But you’re right, it’s not those things she will remember.

My son is 6. Only done 2 of your list. You def don’t have to do things just because the rest do it

Birthday parties, Easter egg hunt, visit to Santa. (Church Christmas fair not a commercial one) - sorted.

Ours were lucky to get those- plenty of children don’t.

Neither of ours played football on Saturday mornings. You don’t t have to do everything just because your friends’ DC do.