To feel totally overwhelmed by all the ‘occasions’

[Liverpoolgirl50]

Christmas Eve boxes, Easter bunny presents, ‘boo baskets’, pumpkin picking, Halloween light trails, cake smashes, birthday parties. Jesus it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.

I swear it’s getting worse too. Every time I go on social media there’s something new. Christmas toy workshops, Halloween kiddy afternoon tea, meet Santa at breakfast, teddy bear picnics at the garden centre, the polar express! I feel totally utterly overwhelmed by it all sometimes.

We are lucky that we can afford to treat our DD but where is the cut off and how much of this stuff is normal and expected now? I’m thankful we only have 1! FWIW, she’s only 2 so we can get away with doing minimal stuff at the moment but are kids going to grow up expecting it?

As a kid we got one Easter egg and were happy 😂

I think these are American. First time I've heard of a 'boo basket' 😂.

I have 4 kids - 3 grown and one teen. Be selective - okay you have to do Christmas, it's massive culturally. But it doesn't have to be a gazillion presents you can't afford and packed out with activities every year. Your kid will be fine if you do a few select activities when they are at an age to appreciate it.
Same with birthday parties - you don't need the full on whole class party every year. Do it once or twice when they are of an age to enjoy and remember it, then just have a few friends over in other years.
Take them to an organised firework display for bonfire night when they are older.
Easter eggs at Easter - you don't have to do all the egg hunt shite - they'll do craft activities at school around all these occasions.

You'll end up buying or making costumes for school but you honestly don't have to mark every single event in full on detail - be selective and choose what suits your family.
Mine for ex never did treat or treating - I don't agree with it. But we did have a nice Halloween tea at home with themed food and a few friends round. It can be relaxed if you want.

The only thing I've ever done on your list is the birthday party.

I can't believe a cake smash is even a thing. My mind is boggled.

Separately but for anyone who needs this tip. A mumsnetter suggested on a thread once that Father Christmas's present should be one small one. Whereas big presents come from named family members.

We do this and it's great. We told our dc that FC has to have a present for everyone so he's limited to one small one per child. So she doesn't think that because it's magic, it's somehow unlimited and she can ask for a pony or a car or whatever. If she wants a big thing like a bike, it comes from us or grandparents and she understands we have to pay a lot of money for it.

So last year FC got her an ordinary jigsaw and got the baby a comforter and it was still magical, we wrapped them in unfamiliar wrapping paper. What a relief, thanks mumsnet

I don't put pressure on myself to do these things but I love doing elf on the shelf, occasion crafts, themed bowls with sweets around the house, Easter egg hunt. The tooth fairy bugs me as I have to remember to keep cash in the house for this- on 2 occasions DD has received a £10 note due to the tooth falling out at night and me not having any change, she once even had to have her go Henry card topped up by the fairy instead!

This. I'm not on social media either and I feel no social pressure whatsoever to do any of the things you've listed. It's all social media hype that fuels FOMO and makes you think you need to join in.

I was afraid that I'd miss out by deleting social media, but the opposite has been true and I feel like I've got so much more capacity for life now I've deleted it.

And worse than not remembering, these things just put pressure on everyone - children and adults. Against my better judgment I took the children to some winter/Christmas day out with Santa grotto etc. In theory it was one of the better ones but fuck me it was actually really quite depressing. Trudging around in the cold while the children demanded crap they hadn’t known they wanted just because it was there. Never again. I don’t do any of the ‘festive activities’ on offer. They’re almost all terrible

FC just does stockings in our house. Small, fun stuff

There definitely does seem to be some new big thing each year and the Instagram.crowd that take it too far!
Some of those things can be as cheap or expensive as you want it to be though and just part of family traditions.
We always got new pyjamas and a book or film on Christmas eve, so I do the same for mine in a little reusable personalised box. We got 1 proper easter egg, and a little egg hunt round the house and garden with mini chocolates and I've kept that going too. It probably costs about £15 for each holiday to do those things but I remember them so fondly from my own childhood. Admittedly we've been to a few light trails but that's probably more for me than the kids, love a fairy light and a wander in the dark 😂.

Practising Christians - so no interest / involvement in Halloween.

no elf on shelf - bloody monstrosity causing chaos - not welcome in my house.

advent calendar both mchocolate (yummy and cheap ) and nativity (fabric reusable ) that honours tge Christmas story.

Christmas eve tradition - 1 small present (e.g socks etc) to honour my grandparents traditions - no ‘box’ needed here…

Christmas Day presents from us ( Santa 1 moderate gift when they were of ‘believing’ age)

Easter - 1 small egg from us - grandparents and aunties etc also got them eggs so spoilt with chocolate!

birthday- enjoyed getting them gifts - very welcome to write ideas list of things they wanted but no expectation of getting everything … very much ‘serving suggestion’ than prescribed list… all I ways had a lovely present but never everything as life / budget just not like that.,,

for all festivals I suggest you just do you and make your own family traditions - ignore what ‘boxes’ etc that others do on social media- just do what suits you and your budget and family situation.

I am so so glad my kids were grown before all that Elf On The Shelf bollocks.

We don't really do that stuff. The only things my 6 year old has done from your list are birthday parties and her GPs took her on the polar express last year. It's not compulsory. It's consumerism, and it's up to you if you want to fall into that trap.

It's all optional. Of the things you've listed, we do birthday parties and the polar express. I hate all the shit like Christmas Eve boxes and things where you go to get a photo for social media, so just opt out and ignore it!

Most people don’t do all that. They do what they want to do and don’t post it on social media. What’s a boo basket!l? Never understood the cake smash. Why waste the cake?! 😂 make your family traditions you want, don’t feel pressure to perform to crazy social media standards. Main tip….. don’t start elf on the sodding shelf. You’ll regret it. 😂

You are completely right. I do too. Plus all the birthday presents/xmas presents/crap that's accumulated. Kids have so much now and no wonder parents are stressed and burnt out with diaries like these. When we were kids we just played in the garden most of the time and had 1/2 extracurricular activities! And a party was held in the garage haha

It sounds like a day in the life of Stacey “I’m so relatable” Solomon. Ironic that SYLO won an award when her whole life seems to be promoting the purchasing of all sorts of disposable tat!

If you want to do it, that's fine, but if you don't, don't feel you have to.

We did elf on a shelf, or a variant thereof, as our friend kindly knitted us an elf. Eldest is almost 15 and we've been doing it since she was 2. I WILL NOT be doing it this year! 😵‍💫🤣

I think that, whilst I may be cynical, most of these 'traditions' are a massive marketing ploy to get people to buy more stuff they don't need.

I agree. I have two adult children and a 8 year old and we do way more with the 8 year old. (Helps we have more money)

First 2-

2 or 3 Easter eggs
Buy a pumpkin to carve
Trick or treating
Santa visit

Ds-
5 Easter eggs
Pumpkin picking
Trick or treating
Fireworks display
Santa
Xmas lights
Panto

And I know people who do loads more

Become an atheist and just send New Year's cards

None of this is compulsory and if it's annoying you on SM, just mute the accounts until it's over. Easy.

You don't need to do all of those and some of them are more experiences than treats surely. There are really only four main events each year...

We did pumpkin patch (we live in Canada it's very much a thing), when they were little - it is a cute day out to a play farm where we choose some pumpkins for Halloween and take some photos.

Halloween - big here all the kids do it, you buy some candy and hand it out, you take the little ones treat or treating in costume.

Then nothing until Christmas, I never got into Christmas Eve boxes or matching family PJs but we do have a lovely selection of Christmas books that would come out in early Dec and they often got 'winter themed' pjs with pengins or snowmen etc not christmas/santa. We also have reusable advent calendars as tradition, though they got the old playmobil one here and there. Decided not to do elf on the shelf early on though there is probably more pressure now to have one.

Presents at Christmas are a smallish sack from Santa (treats, puzzles, small toys), everything under the tree was from family.

Easter yes to neighbourhood egg hunts when they were small, then a few eggs from us/family on the day.

To me these events were about buidling traditions and memories, I didn't see them as stressful and I agree that too many events that involve presents, chocolate etc take away from the main ones.

But every family is different so you just need to find your level of what you enjoy doing and follow that, rather than worrying about what others are doing :)

“Every time I go on social media there’s something new.”

This is your problem. Why do you care? Just do the things you want to do, none of it is compulsory. And don’t bleat on about everything you do on social media and compound the problem.

I only put YABU because it’s up to you to ignore it. No one’s making you do any of these things.

I have a 3 year old, I do plenty of nice things for him but I don’t feel like I have to. I pick and choose what I want to do. He gets an Xmas eve box off my mum, we do Santa trips, Halloween stuff. But I don’t do the Elf on the Shelf or boo boxes.

It’s probably not one friend doing all these things though, I expect it’s lots of different friends doing different things. My point being you don’t have to do it all, pick and choose the things that will make you and your family happy and not what you think will look good on your social media feed.

Fuck that, I was exhausted just reading your post. I do nothing on that list apart from a birthday party.
Stop following anyone who normalises this kind of wasteful, performative shit. These kind of things are invented solely to pull money out of people.

You need to get off social media. It designed such to worm its way into your mind and target you with ads that you can’t refuse, even down to presenting stuff at the time of day you’re most likely to buy. I think it even listens in to your conversations.

I have bought all sorts of shit recently and was just planning on boo baskets but you’ve jusg reminded me how that seed was planted. It’s even better because now you’re talking about it on here everyone will want a boo basket. My god