What do you find annoying but put up with?

[cheesecadet]

This is particularly for women with partners in their 40s/50s but any age really.

What do you find that's childish/irritating/immature or crass and wish they'd grow up but you put up with it. Why do you?

He’s a terrible mansplainer. It’s not technically mansplaining because he does it to both men and women, and I know it’s the result of caring deeply that everyone understands and everything is right, which is why I mostly tolerate it, but Jesus it takes some counting to ten.

And he gets very anxious, and when he’s anxious he tries to reassure himself by nitpicking as a way of controlling his immediate environment.

And finally he’s a terrible back seat driver, and this last one I can’t actually tolerate, so I very rarely drive if we’re going somewhere together.

If my OH finishes a canister of deodorant or shaving gel etc it will sit on the bathroom unit forever until I say "Are you going to put that in the recycling?"
They weigh so little when they're empty that I keep knocking them over.

Also he will do a running commentary on something he's doing online. He knows I like certain programmes but I often can't concentrate due to him talking his way through doing something. I've now started pointedly pausing the TV every time this annoys me.

My ex used to add the word “The” to things, especially TV shows. Drive me nuts.

”oh The Grey’s Anatomy is on!”
”look it’s The Breaking Bad”
”Have you seen that Guy Ritchie movie? You know, The Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?”
”The Star Wars is on tonight!”

😳

To be fair, it does sometimes work. For example the other day DH looked in a cupboard and said something wasn't there. I said I am sure it is, went to look myself and there it was!

And he does the same to me :)

Agreed! Almost all these things (apart from the football ones) are adorable... as long as you don't have to live with them!

@Howdidtheydothat I think you're my neighbour! Every yawn, sigh, sneeze, complaint, stretch is sooooooo loud! 🤣

These are hilarious, thank you!

My husband is an early riser, 5am early and is a meticulous planner of all things, he is found most mornings standing near the kettle with his laptop/ notebooks out. I rise around 7am, I like to come down, pop the dogs out for a wee (they like me don’t rise before 7am) and then take a coffee upto bed and drink it in peace. But by 7am he’s possibly onto his 4th coffee and depending on what he is working on likes to show me. For the last month it has been his in-depth financial retirement planning, he has created the mother of all spreadsheets, so now when I go down he has something new to show me, it looks very complicated, it’s all very colourful and it’s so very big and my brain hasn’t turned on yet. He’s worked out now he can retire at 55, I may have killed him first is he continues to disturb my morning coffee. Aside from that I’m very lucky with him, I do hope he learns the art of morning relaxation as he ages though 😬

"What are we having for dinner?" Every fucking night.

Pre announcing everything, with a countdown. "In twenty minutes I'm going for a bike ride. Right, in ten minutes I'm going for a bike ride. Ok, just going for a bike ride now."

Every day, my DH comes home from work, makes a sandwich and leaves crumbs all over the worktop and kitchen table

The other day I was doing a puzzle, DH joins me and proceeds to constantly lean across me, either to put pieces on my side "to help you" or takes things I was working on. Nevermind, completed in record time and shall we do another one? I should have said no but I agreed and put some music on. DH continues with the leaning and the helpfulness but now he is also making a tick-a-tick-a-tick-a noise to the tune of every song that comes on. I think I'm about to burst with rage. My quiet puzzle time is no more.

I've since noticed he frequently makes these noises and it is really starting to grate 😅 either sing (he has a lovely singing voice) or be quiet!

Also he slurps the biscuits that he dips in tea.

I know he puts up with my annoying stuff though so I guess I can give him the same courtesy (perhaps until I go through the change, then he might need a kennel outside)

Are you...me?

Yawns really loud, like a bear roaring. I'm not sure if he's always done it and I'm only finding it annoying now or it's only started in the last four years, either way it grates.

Puts something on TV I don't want to watch so I decide to go to bed and read or listen to something in peace, only for him to turn the TV off to join me 🙄

Sits in the house silently on his phone, decides to go for a walk and rings me to chat while he walks. Just talk to my face!

I don't think any of these are as bad as the pants though, I don't think I could have married a pants man. I'm silently gutted that after 26 years he's started wearing pyjamas 🤮

If it starts spotting with rain he will get the washing in, but he has to be so bloody dramatic about it. He can't just quickly unclip the pegs, gather the clothes and drop the pegs in the peg box like I do, which takes about 20 seconds. He has to tear the pegs off the line, scatter the them across the patio and then throw the washing in a big pile on the conservatory floor.

Oh my god that would wind me up! Hopefully they have some really lovely qualities too?!

I hate the fact that he claims the couch for all football every week

A random man who appears to wait for a lift at 5 in the morning several days a week. He stands just under my bedroom window. He sighs loudly. Then says"oh dear" . Then he makes a sort of groaning noise with a loud exhalation as if he's stretching. Sometimes he lights a cigarette ( I can smell the smoke) and coughs loudly. Says" oh dear" again. Then his lift arrives. He sighs,opens the passenger door and says" warm enough for you" or " bloody freezing this morning" . Soon it will be too cold to sleep with windows wide open and I won't hear him until next spring. Like the cuckoo. I've never got up and looked at him. It would destroy the magic as I have a mental picture of him .

He does. And I'm very narky 🙂

Yup. My mother would have killed any child saying pardon. Or toilet for that matter.

Mine does this! He needs it as background noise because he has tinnitus- so he puts the radio on....then fucks off down the shed for 4 hours.
Insists on talking to me about shit when I'm reading. Don't get much time to myself, so I try and make the most of it- then he insists on wittering on about the mess the neighbours have left in the alleyway or the fact that the binmen were late....

Reading this thread, I can't believe the "husband murder rate" is not through the roof!!

Ditto with the 'anxiety masquerading as nitpicking control' - I've long suspected he has asperger traits...

And ditto the back-seat driving, which is even more annoying as he can't drive himself. I put this down to the aspie/anxiety thing too. He cannot cope if, e.g., someone doesn't indicate, because they should have! A rule has been broken! 😱 And he makes little gasps and flinches at the normal ebb and flow of traffic, so probably best that he can't drive after all... But it's annoying and distracting in a passenger.

Always, always decides that he must go to the toilet immediately, right as I’m serving dinner. Drives me insane.

I said "What?" until we moved to a slightly posher different area, when I was ten. Nobody had ever corrected me before, so I had no idea that some people thought it was wrong. I soon found out when I said it at my new school - I was looked at as if I'd stuck my tongue out at the person. My default now tends to be, "Sorry, what did you say?". But yes, I can't get worked up by this sort of thing.