To ask if you have this view?

[LeopardPrint12]

Got chatting to a family friend yesterday evening and she said "Anna (Her 34 year old DD ) works part time but then she has got Gregory (Her partner) so she doesn't really need to work so much."
They have no kids this couple. I wouldn't want this for my hypothetical adult DD although I expect to be flamed here for saying that

I don’t know I think not having to work much sounds amazing to me! I think it’s important to have the skills / education so you can make it on your own but if she’s got that and also someone happy to support her why not?!

Horses for courses but it's not something I'd ever do, it sounds financially vulnerable.

It's common sense to have a backup plan. Doesn't mean you have to constantly think the worst but it's very silly not to plan.

Guess it depends how much Gregory earns. Is he a multi millionaire?

Well if a household has 2 incomes then it may be possible for one partner to go part for a while. DH and I did this - we took turns in who worked part time.

Now we both do. We can afford to, so why not?

You work to earn money, if you don't need to earn money you don't work. Why would someone bust a guy working full time if they didn't have to? I say good on her for not being a slave to social norms and idle gossips!

Not in that scenario, no. If she had the independent financial means to work part-time, or if she were choosing to be temporarily part-time due to looking after her children, sure.

My uni aged dd understands the importance of not being dependant on a man. She can see that men can, and do, become abusive. Or die. Or leave.

That's before thinking about her pension.

I know a few women who went part time or stopped working around that age.

It was because they were TTC without much success and they stopped work in order to reduce stress, focus on their health and in some cases make time for fertility appointments and treatments. One had multiple early MCs.

You don’t always know what’s going on.

They both really dislike kids so that's definitely not on the horizon.

Well it is all well and good while everything is fine then they break up and usually the mother has to move back all the kids they decide to have with her parents and complain I have no money what do I do

So they probably won't have kids. And worst case scenario she has to look after herself.... I think she will be OK op.

No. Not if she's relying on someone else to subsidise her.

I agree but each to their own. Very outdated, I would never be financially dependent on a man, irrespective of how much money he had.

Wow.

I wouldn’t mind being kept if I was kept well.

I have an old school friend who is “kept” very well actually. She’ll get plenty of money if they divorce or he dies. I’ve always thought lucky for her. I like her so I’m glad her life is good.

Even if things go to shit, we can adapt and pivot. Lots of people start afresh at some point.

Surely it's a fact (sometimes)
My friend works part time. She works part time because she can because her husband has a good wage coming in. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't be able to and she's said that.

By the way it's phrased, she's more than capable of doing more hours but Gregory has a higher income and is happy to pick up the slack.
As long as she's able to go ahead and get more hours if/when Gregory goes off the notion then there's no harm done really.
I wouldn't want my daughter to have never worked in her life despite being more than able, simply because she had a rich husband. But if she cut down her hours because she could and wanted to, but could go back whenever, then I wouldn't really see it as a tragedy.

Fair enough, if she is then happy to do more than 50:50 on the household chores.

My choice has always been to work full time in a really interesting role then outsource much of the boring repetitive household tasks, with the great side effect that if I ever find myself treated badly in a relationship, it's no odds to me to up and leave.

That is the exact opposite of someone who gets trapped in a relationship where they font have their own money and find themselves wondering whether it's 'really bad enough to leave'.

As long as you can afford to live on your reduced pension as a result, good for you.

Yes, exactly my point. Your friend is married, so will be protected in divorce or bereavement. The woman in the OP has none of that. Some women have always got by that way - I'm not judging, I'm just pointing out it's not some cosy conservative housewife scenario.

yes thank you i have made adequate provision for my retirement, i won't be depending on the state pension! and as far as i am aware, i've contributed enough for a full pension