To think this is unprofessional in a Pilates class?

[MsMonday]

I attend Reformer Pilates regularly, and in my class yesterday, my instructor kept telling me to look at “Bridget” (another student) for guidance during certain exercises. She said it a couple of times when coming over to help me, instead of giving me direct instruction.

It felt like I was being compared to Bridget, which I found off-putting. I go to these classes expecting personalised guidance from the instructor, not to be told to look at another student. I’m fit and active, and I do other sports as well, so it felt a bit frustrating to not receive direct feedback.

AIBU to feel this comparison is unprofessional, and should I stop attending these classes?

Maybe looking at Bridget would show you what you need to do?

Well, I can't speak to pilates but I teach a sport and watching/copying peers is a really common learning tool. If she's been attending longer then she's a good example to utilise surely?

If they were trying to show you something very specific about what Bridget was doing, I think it's fine. If it was said in the way of "look at how wonderful Bridget is; do that", that's rather different. Sometimes it's difficult to explain an exact body position and it's easier to demonstrate (or have it demonstrated).

If the instructor is walking around and not doing the exercise at the time, I think it is perfectly reasonable to point out someone doing the exercise correctly.

Not at all unprofessional.

Yabu.

I'm a teacher. The best way to learn anything by far is to watch someone doing it right.

You’re being very over sensitive like it’s a competition between you, not that you’re there to learn.
All seems normal to me.

Not unprofessional at all. I learn by watching (especially in reformer Pilates) so it’s often easier to look at other students rather than listening to direct instructions. If you want a personalised service, have some 1-2-1 lessons.

If you want personalised the pay for 1:1. You’re being silly watching someone who is doing the movement correctly is a great way to learn.

I don't go to classes to receive personalised guidance, this is what 1:1 sessions are for. In a class you are expected to get on with it with some guidance and demonstration. Looking at Bridget if Bridget is doing things the right way is a perfectly normal level of guidance. If anything, I'd be more worried about Bridget feeling under pressure than your fragile ego.

I’m not sure that Pilates instructors are required to be ‘professional’. Don’t go if you don’t like it!

Alright, alright. It was just a Q. Jesus Christ!

I do a lot of reformer Pilates and instructors have on a few occasions told newbies next to me to watch me. I also help them with the machine.

If it’s a class with 12 or so people it’s hard for the instructor to personally help
everyone. You’d be better off with some 1 to 1 sessions if you want personalised help.

There’s no need for digs.

I often look at longer-standing members of the class when I'm not sure I'm doing things right, and I would rather expect the newer people to do the same with me. I think some people might be uncomfortable with the instructor telling people to look at them, so I'd be more concerned that Bridget didn't mind (particularly with any more ungainly positions!).
Perhaps a more subtle approach is "lift your leg a little higher, Baguette; that's right, Bridget" - but would that still make you feel inferior?

If you don't understand why Bridget is doing it better than you, then ask what you need to correct - but it sounds as if you're mainly complaining about comparison, not lack of guidance.

I’ve done reformer for many many years. I don’t think this is unprofessional at all, reformer takes a lot of practice and I reckon “Bridget” has perfected her form exactly as it should be - there’s always a few in every class and they are really helpful. Your instructor is obviously watching your form and showing you how to adjust it which is great, if there’s more than one in the class that’s how it works. They need to be walking around and spot checking everyone. I’ve been doing it over 10 years and I still need adjusting and I still watch other people who have got the technique better. If it’s making you uncomfortable I would suggest and 1:1 session instead of a group class. Very pricey but might work better for you. Keep it up though it’s a fantastic activity for strength and flexibility, best of luck with it!

OP I'm with you on this. However, the tone and energy about the instructor when telling you to look at the wonderful Bridget is worth noting!

Nobody is making personal digs.

You clearly don't do or haven't done as much sport as you are stating otherwise you would be aware of what other posters are telling you without it upsetting you.

I don't see the problem

I don’t do sport because I feel that someone is making a dig by saying I have a fragile ego? Interesting link you’ve made there.

I have done sports ever since I was a child and do 4x sports weekly. What the hell?

@MsMonday

and people are just replying!

you want praise from your instructor, but she told you to look at someone else, who was doing it correctly.

you need to get your ego boost elsewhere and learn while you're there. If you want 1:2 you need to pay for that,

Maybe try to find a similar workout on YouTube and practice at home between sessions?

I think it's unfair on Bridget unless she's there as a paid demonstrator.

I agree with you OP! If it was only once it would be understandable but annoying if she keeps telling you to watch the other person, I'm guessing that its actually quite difficult to look over at others while doing reformer as it is due to all the positions!?

Also it's so expensive to go to that type of class that you'd expect the instructor to go around and adjust you as necessary like they do in yoga surely

I don’t see the problem. Presumably looking at Bridget would show you how to improve whatever it was you were doing. Anyway, if the instructor came to help you herself surely that too would have made it clear to your classmates that you needed help to get it right when they didn’t, which since you seem so competitive would probably also have bothered you,

You’re very touchy. Maybe group classes aren’t for you?