To think this is unprofessional in a Pilates class?

[MsMonday]

I attend Reformer Pilates regularly, and in my class yesterday, my instructor kept telling me to look at “Bridget” (another student) for guidance during certain exercises. She said it a couple of times when coming over to help me, instead of giving me direct instruction.

It felt like I was being compared to Bridget, which I found off-putting. I go to these classes expecting personalised guidance from the instructor, not to be told to look at another student. I’m fit and active, and I do other sports as well, so it felt a bit frustrating to not receive direct feedback.

AIBU to feel this comparison is unprofessional, and should I stop attending these classes?

Why?

Well, to be fair, Bridget could be 86 for all we know!

It’s hardly a weird response. Did you see the majority of the first few ‘typical pile on’ replies? I genuinely don’t know how on earth anyone takes their lives in their hands on here anymore because clearly there are a good few folk hovering over the new posts just to get in there first and act like a complete asshole. You can answer a question without being nasty but obviously people want to be nasty. Why shouldn’t OP be upset by that. Why should people just have to put up with mean spirited nasty replies just because that’s ‘how it is’ on here.

If you want 1:1, pay for a few sessions to get started.

When I started dance classes, I purposely stood behind a good person, just so I could copy her. It’s fine. It probably wasn’t a dig at you.

I think there's a difference between choosing to stand behind someone as you don't yet know the choreography and want the reference, and bring told to look at another class participant by the instructor constantly.

"A couple of times" in a session is not "constantly".

Using other attendees (often someone who has been going for a while and has good form) to demonstrate how to do a move correctly is standard practice in sports classes/group sessions. It's not the slightest bit unprofessional unless the instructor was also making negative comparisons between "Bridget" and the other attendees.

If the OP wants 1:1 coaching (which it sounds like she does?) she'll need to pay for that rather than a group class.

Hmm, it would annoy me if the instructor did that to be honest. Different if she's asked Bridget to demonstrate, but if everyone's just cracking on I would hate to be told to watch a fellow classmate, just as I would hate fellow classmates to be told to watch me. Reformer pilates isn't a team sport.

The whole point of going to a session in real life is that you will get some individual instruction. Otherwise you might as well just be doing a video at home.

No I think its fine. I do yoga and it's much easier to see someone then be told how to move.

I think the remark 'Watch Bridget' is belittling and humiliating. It's informing the whole class that OP is doing it all wrong, rather than needs a small adjustment.
Some people are very insensitive and might not mind. I believe most people would mind.
I find the nastiness of the earliest comments offensive and unnecessary.

I go to reformer Pilates classes each week and our teacher often tells us to look at such and such (only four of us) we are all good at different movements. I really wouldn’t be offended, some of the moves are really tricky to describe.

I think I would be happy she’s telling me to watch Bridget I think you are taking it rather personally when no need to

It sounds like there is a bit of a leap happening here.

The instructor told you to look at Bridget a couple of times. Likely Bridget just has more experience as has been attending longer, and was in your eyeline, or easy to see, hence using her example a couple of times rather than someone less close.

Having had this happen a couple of times, it seems like you've felt that there is a comparison happening. It sounds like the comparison is just your position being compared to the correct position, and that then being demonstrated by being shown Bridget's example as above.

Because this maybe felt like you were being compared directly to Bridget in the whole and assumingly felt that meant she's better than you, you've perhaps felt that the instructor is comparing you to Bridget.

The instructor was only comparing your very specific pilates ability in a couple of poses. Not you as a whole. And with the intention of giving you the tools to improve so you can be as good, or as good as you want to be at Pilates.

It sucks sometimes feeling compared to others, especially in a place where you go to have some time to yourself or be yourself, but I think, her coming over and giving very specific instruction, without you being able to see what that looked like would have been difficult to learn from, and wouldn't necessarily have helped you improve.

Plus she has a class of people to help, so by her telling you to look at Bridget, she's giving the people in earshot confirmation of 'Here's a fab example of the right position whilst I'm walking around checking people's positions'.

Maybe you could book some 1 on 1 sessions if you feel you'd benefit from the personal instruction?

I hope you can go back to your class and enjoy getting as good or better than Bridget 🥰

They're using Bridget as a good example, nothing wrong with that.

Lol

What a lot of Brigids there are here.

I have practiced yoga and Pilates for ten years.

No instructor has ever pointed to Brigid for me to copy.

The instructors I’ve known demonstrate and explain the movements. They also walk around the room correcting people as they go.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

Yes same. Because reformer Pilates is on individual machines it’s actually easier to look at the nearest person to you who’s doing it correctly than try to follow the instructor’s verbal instructions.

id be happy to copy Bridget 😂

Gosh. Were you in my Pilates class this week? I was Briget for one movement. But then the lady opposite was Bridget for another movement and it was another person being told to look at her. I do a few classes a week with different instructors working different days. They have very different teaching styles. One does a lot of ‘look at Bridget’ comments but did also jump on a spare machine at one point to show us all something. Some of that are regulars have a good banter during the class when one of us hasn’t quite understood the movement and we all have a giggle. But the other class the instructor is very much the attendees are silent and she very quickly comes and helps you out by moving your body parts. I don’t think she’s ever had a ‘look at Bridget’ moment in her class. I enjoy both classes. I don’t mind being singled out to watch (gives me a little boost as I’m new to it myself so good when I get to know I’m doing things right) but I’m equally not offended if I’m told to look at someone else doing something I can’t.

Reformer Pilates machines are extremely expensive so I highly doubt any are in a position to do at home with a video on. Yes if it was mat Pilates. I do both. I don’t go to a group session for 1:1. I go to do the work out. I was told there were 1:1 sessions available if I wanted to practice anything specific but the group sessions are just that, group. We get a mix of a bit of 1:1 coaching on the session and some of watching others for help as well.

In my fitness class I order to watch the instructor, then other students, then do it myself

I actually walked out of a reformer pilates class for the same reason the other day - it was my first one and I had no idea what to do (despite being told it was suitable for beginners) - I wasn't looking for personal instruction but for an explanation, directed at the whole class, of what to do for each move. In my usual (regular, not reformer) pilates class, all 3 of the instructors who rotate as teachers there focus on how you should be engaging which muscles, with a lot of detail to make sure you get it right. Looking at someone doesn't help if the instruction is about eg what you should be doing with your core. Sorry for the rant; I've never walked out of a class before in my life and reading your post struck a nerve!

Indeed. I don't know about pilates but if you are going to a yoga class to outcompete other people, smash it and be the best yogi you are soon going to have another think coming.

It is very hard to just jump on a reformer to demonstrate an exercise when u have a class full of clients. Reformers are dangerous if not used correctly and carefully and in all honesty any instructor needs to be constantly aware of all participants and can’t spend ages with one person who maybe just isn’t getting it?

what I would say is ask for a private lesson and discuss your worries!
but you need to be aware that since reformer Pilates is more fashionable these days there are a lot of under qualified teachers jumping on the bandwagon.