To be fuming at kids recording my child at school.

[Backpainagain]

Autistic DD11 in third week of new secondary school.
School tried to phone me to collect her early as she had stomach pain during last lesson (PE). They were unable to get hold of me at work so phoned DH who works 90mins away and so couldnt collect, and he told them to put her on the bus home as normal.
While waiting for the buses home the kids mingle on the school field, where apparently teachers are present. Phones are allowed to be brought to school but not allowed to be used on school grounds.
DD says she was lying down on the field in pain when a group of year 11s approached her, teasing her. Two of the girls recording her on their phones. She walked to another location on the field but they followed her before getting bored and wondering off. She can’t identify the children except to say the two girls filming get on the same bus as her and get off in the same village.

AIBU to think this is a serious breach of safeguarding? Presumably the footage of DD has been shared although of course we have no proof of anything. I have emailed the school and they have said they will investigate. I don’t have much hope much will be done though considering the lack of evidence. I’m really pissed off.

Contact head of Yr7 or similar, explain what you've said here. Would your DD be able to look at photos and recognise them?

(And this is one of the reasons some schools are going for total bans instead of Off in Bag)

I work at a SEN school - getting off their buses all our students have to put their devices into trays which get locked away til home time - then the students collect their devices from the trays as they are getting onto their buses. Can’t understand why this is not policy nationwide - surely a safeguarding minefield otherwise?!

DD probably could identify them but not sure the school will go as far as a line up, DD is not the best at communicating either.

I also can’t understand why she was left on the field on her own in pain when they had just called her parents to collect her.

Sorry I’ve just re read you said from photos. Yes she may well be able to.

AIBU to think this is a serious breach of safeguarding?

I wouldn't say it was a serious breach, no. Anti-social, intimidating and unkind? Yes.

Is it a public she catches or a school bus? Was the field on her way to a bus stop? If she was in too much pain to walk then your dh prob needed to attempt the 90 min journey

Ok. I was presuming it was a serious breach purely based on the fact recordings were made of a child without their consent on school grounds during the school day.

It’s a school bus. The field is on school grounds where teachers are present while the students wait for their buses.

I’m surprised a member of staff wasn’t waiting with her as she was in enough pain that they had attempted to get us to collect her.

I'm not surprised if a secondary school ours has no school buses so the kids are just released to wait for the service bus

I think it's your husband's blase attitude that I'd be annoyed about.

I am annoyed about it. Though he says the school were basically “collect her asap or we can put her on the bus”. He couldn’t collect her asap so chose the latter.

I have very very strong views about phones, recording people and SM in general. It is an absolute nightmare that must be fuelling a mountain of MH problems for kids.

I would email the school over this - and I'm not a Karen, but this sort of behaviour has to be addressed as a priority. I would ask them very politely what they suggest in terms of addressing this? Is there a way they can support the identification of the girls? How can they at the same time protect your daughter from any fallout? I'd go in nicely nicely rather than angry and drama so you get them on side. They will absolutely have to do something if this is in writing from you.

Alot also depends how your daughter feel and what she wants.

I sometimes wish I could grab people's phones and stuff them down their mouths. 🤷‍♀️🤣

It was bad enough that she was lying on the grass in tears 🤷🏻‍♀️

Contact the school and report it in. Sadly this is becoming par for the course at schools, fight breaks out and they reach for their phones to film and instantly post on social media has become the norm.

It’s really awful bullying.

There are so many issues here I don't know where to start. Your dd has been let down here by all. Yourself - why on earth are you uncontactable, when your ASD child has just started secondary. Dh should've gone to get her immediately or phoned you. Why on earth haven't you got more support systems in place for her, ie a 3rd local person to call. Lying down on a field would attract attention from all students, they'd laugh and film, so she probably shouldn't have done that with hindsight. If she was that unwell that meant she had to lie down the receptionist never should have let her go anywhere. These girls are nasty, older girls filming a yr 7 starter is disgraceful and needs to be reported to your Hoy, their Hoy (year 8?) and Senco. Have you emailed hoy and Senco already?

I'm sure there are more issues here but those are some of them.

It all sounds unpleasant, your poor daughter

but your husband said- if I read right- for her to get the bus as usual, so that’s what they did.

probably good idea to have a third local contact for you emergency’s is neither you not husband are able to get to school in less than 90mijutes

I was actually driving home from work and must not have had signal when they called - however there are no missed calls in my call log so I’m not sure what happened there. They also attempted to call my mum who was walking my youngest DD home from primary school - again, signal issue - there is basically none in our village.

She shouldn’t have lied down in the middle of a field but is autistic so cannot judge these things.

I emailed safeguarding lead, senco and form tutor.

Hope she’s feeling better

Why could your H have not contacted you?

I understand your frustration and that's your dd is undoubtedly upset. School may have cctv.

Handing in 1200 phones every day is a stupid idea.

Sending love to your daughter xx unfortunately at secondary school there will be nasty children who will do things like this for their own selfish entertainment. I would take it up with the school because if there was a y7 lying on the floor crying in pain then surely a member of staff would be next to them and therefore the nasty girls wouldn't have dared film her? So where were the staff? Why was she left lying on the ground in tears?

I don’t know why he didn’t contact me. He can’t explain it apart from “they said they were literally putting her on the bus what was the point of calling you it would be too late”.

You’re right it is a stupid idea. Most of the children at our SEN school don’t bother to bring devices in and there are a lot less students than DD’s school in any case. I suppose DD’s school doesn’t want to outright ban phones because they think parents will complain they need them while traveling to and from school.

please don't use the term Karen. it's mysogynistic.

I agree I can’t understand why they weren’t with her.

In addition, she was too ill and upset to change out of her PE kit so she stood out at home time even more.

The school are well aware of her autism diagnosis and have a system where she checks in with the pastoral team before school starts and at lunch times.