To be fuming at kids recording my child at school.

[Backpainagain]

Autistic DD11 in third week of new secondary school.
School tried to phone me to collect her early as she had stomach pain during last lesson (PE). They were unable to get hold of me at work so phoned DH who works 90mins away and so couldnt collect, and he told them to put her on the bus home as normal.
While waiting for the buses home the kids mingle on the school field, where apparently teachers are present. Phones are allowed to be brought to school but not allowed to be used on school grounds.
DD says she was lying down on the field in pain when a group of year 11s approached her, teasing her. Two of the girls recording her on their phones. She walked to another location on the field but they followed her before getting bored and wondering off. She can’t identify the children except to say the two girls filming get on the same bus as her and get off in the same village.

AIBU to think this is a serious breach of safeguarding? Presumably the footage of DD has been shared although of course we have no proof of anything. I have emailed the school and they have said they will investigate. I don’t have much hope much will be done though considering the lack of evidence. I’m really pissed off.

I'm sure the school will take it very seriously, the fact a y7 was writhing around on the field in pain and then the videoing! There are ways and means of finding out who did it if it was shared, someone will tell on them. IME a whole y11 assembly would be called, a letter to parents etc. Your poor daughter, I'm so sorry no one was there with her. Xx

@memebuster I guess the fact it's a female name says as much . I didn't ever consider this before in all honesty.

OP, insert another word there - I appreciate you may feel you'll be seen as difficult ( I used the K word to try reference that. I think you will get what I mean)

The truth is that you aren't being difficult or over reacting. The impact SM and phones is and will continue to have is really underestimated by alot of us. I know it's also difficult to try not be ' that parent ' especially when our kids are ND. The school should be on this. I wouldn't mention safeguarding to them, it'll probably rub them the wrong way and I don't believe it would necessarily be seen that way.

I do think they will do something about this so hope they respond soon and hope your daughter is double ok aside from this.

It's not the OPs fault, why are people focusing on that? Not everyone can have their phone on them at all times at work (DP and I are included in that) and most people don't have a random spare adult without a job and with a car who can just 'be on call'. School are in loco parentis. In loads of parts of the country it would take 90 minutes to get out of the office and to school, including in London. DD has asd and we're not giving up work on the off chance she might have a stomach ache one random Wednesday.

The issue is with the behaviour of other girls. Yes I would be raising it with the school and get them to deal with it. And I would also be asking them why they left her alone. Those are both reasonable things to do.

My school had CCTV all over, I never consented to it.

I would say I was more filmed at school under its strict big brother watchful eye than anywhere else.

Your dd should not have been lying down on the field.
Staff will have been busy supervising and getting students on a bus.
If they had seen her in distress they would have helped her.
If she was in such agony your dh should have collected her.
The children should not have filmed her.
She will need to look at photos so they can identify the other kids.

But you didn’t answer your phone and your DH said to put her on the bus as normal? That aside I would be pissed off about the filming too. It shouldn’t hard to track them down if they’re on the same bus

If you don't have any missed calls, check your number is right on their system.

(And yes, sometimes parents miss calls... thats why there is also voicemail!)

She was lying down in a field crying? Is she ok? That sounds so extreme

Perhaps the field staff were unaware that your DD was in pain.
I feel it’s unfair to place blame on them if they didn’t know she needed an extra eye kept on her.
Reception staff should have made field staff aware DD may have needed extra help.

Last year two girls from my daughter's year secretly recorded my daughter and another girl which caused my daughter to become hugely isolated from her friends. The teachers were aware but did absolutely nothing to the girls who made the recording. In fact, they didn't even inform me. 😣

I worked in a school.

A member of staff would man the first aid room if a students was sent ill from a lesson.

It was in a rota and the (first aid trained) admin staff did it.
If they'd rung your husband and he had told them to out her on the bus as normal then the staff at my school would have sent her out to the bus stop if public bus or playground where the buses come in if school bus.

They wouldn't have helped her get on the bus as your husband had said put her in the bus as normal.

Sounds like she wasn't well enough to go in the bus really.

The school will punish the students who filmed her if they can find them, but bus queues at the end of secondary are busy crowded places with a lot of students moving. There will only have been a few teachers supervising and it's easy to miss something like this as the focus of the teachers is on making sure everyone gets on the right bus.

If a secondary school rings to pick up a student they are generally very ill. It's very unusual.

She is autistic. It is a typical response for her to stress.

DD “should not have been lying down in the field”. She is autistic, she was in pain and distressed.

DH was informed they would “put her on the bus”. He took this to mean they would escort her, not tell her to walk to the school field alone and wait as normal. He was not informed she was in agony either.

“My school had CCTV all over, I never consented to it.
I would say I was more filmed at school under its strict big brother watchful eye than anywhere else.”

I thought if the person being recorded is a child under 13 and their image is shared without consent it is a breach of some law or other. Perhaps I am wrong.

I think this is one of those "there's a big difference between primary and secondary" moments.

No one will be able to watch her all day every day. Most staff wont know her or that she needs an extra eye looking out for her. If she's laid down on the field, staff may not have realised she was there.

You have to decide if she can deal with secondary, or needs more support elsewhere. You couldn't have for seen the exact events of today but now you know to talk to her about what to do if she is in pain. Talk to her about returning to the medical room / reception. Explain that the floor isn't appropriate due to the potential germs and it will attract attention (whether she likes it or not).

Yes I think you’re right.

Schools can have cctv without consent under risk protection as long as they follow ICO guidelines.

I’d love for her to have some more support elsewhere but it is not possible. She is not “autistic enough” for a SEN school.

I am going to try to make arrangements so she doesn’t have to get the bus home. That’s the best I can do.

That’s awful xx

You have a loooong 5 years ahead of you with that mindset. It was unkind and it should definitely be reported to the school. Is it a serious safeguarding breach? Absolutely not.

Is the bus the issue really? Or is it a one off coincidence of miscommunication?

Seems drastic to change travel plans over this.

My school has 1400 pupils..you couldn't possibly lock.all those phones in trays.

My daughter also got filmed..I emailed head of year. They worked out who had done it and they got in trouble.

They have photo books for each year to identify children.

Id be less concerned about the filming than about your daughter rolling about in pain unsupervised

Honestly I didn’t realise quite how unsupervised the ‘waiting for the buses’ point in the day is. I’m just not comfortable with DD being with the entire school population in an unstructured, unsupervised context. She is too much of an easy target.

You have contacted the school about the filming and they have told you they will investigate. What more do you want them to do?
The school couldn’t get hold of you regarding your daughter’s stomach pain, they called her father, what attempts did he make for someone to collect her or call you to collect her? This isn’t on the school, it’s on you and your husband.
Secondary school is a whole different world to junior school. Talk through some scenarios with your daughter and what she needs to do if she finds herself in them.