To keep making this dinner

[Soitis83]

So, once a week I'll make a pasta and the sauce I make by myself. I roast loads of veg and blitz it in the blender with coconut milk. My two year old loves it, I love it and my husband loves it. Problem is, my 4 year old (who used to devour the whole plate) has now decided he hates it and refuses to eat it the last two times I've made it. Do I stop making it as it makes dinner time so stressful, or do I carry on making it as everyone else enjoys it and it's healthy? Making two separate dinners is just not an option as I also have a 3 month old and cooking dinner is hard enough as it is!

I may have gone off at a tangent..

Oh you poor soul. Endometriosis is bad enough on it's own!!
This is very interesting though thank you. At the moment I'm more, 80% treats 20% good stuff...I got the percentages mixed it seems.

Story of my life.

I don't get why, if you chuck in a bit of pasta to a meal to bulk it out, why that automatically makes it an Italian meal? And then the perfectly good selection of fresh food on offer is suddenly "wrong" because that's not what Italians do.

I chuck pasta into vegetable soup if I am pushed for time and want something quick and filling. Does that automatically make it Italian?

OP - your recipe sounds fine.

But this is a great idea, thank you!

I don’t know why people are getting hung up on the coconut milk.

This is normal 4-year old behavior, OP. They have precious little control over their diet and will take it wherever they can, and they commonly like separated foods instead of “all mixed up” foods where there’s a bunch going on in one dish. We don’t make whole separate meals, but we do respect those sorts of food preferences and try to give our littles more control. With that meal we would:
-set some raw carrots, tomatoes and bell pepper aside before roasting
-set some of the roasted courgettes aside
-Serve everyone plain boiled pasta, let them choose to put sauce on or not, or to have their sauce on the side (if you do penne pasta they can dip with it)
-ask the kids to pick at least 2 of the veg to go on the plate (DH and I will eat the rest)
-offer Parmesan they can sprinkle on their food themselves, and ranch for dipping their raw veggies into if they want it

This sort of thing gives them far more control and choice but doesn’t add any time onto dinner prep at all. Once they have a balanced meal on their plate I’m not battling them over how or if they eat (though we do have limits on refills of things like ranch, ketchup, and cheese that we warn of in advance).

Heads up: when setting aside veg for your 4 year old, just assume your 2 year old will want the same options

Agreed. To be honest, my first thought when creating a new recipe with pasta isn't 'I wonder if the Italians will approve?'

I’d keep making it and keep a portion of the veg separate for the child who doesn’t like it. With my DDs I used to put different things on my plate and if they asked for I’d share it with them.

A thing I found helped when my children were being difficult about eating something was to serve it in a different bowl or different way. Even something putting the pasta in one side of cleaned out Muller fruit corner container and the sauce in the other, or on a grown up plate if he's still using that or even in a saucepan or something for novelty value.

'Chucking' a bit of pasta into a dish doesn't make it Italian, anymore than putting tomato or garlic into something makes it Mediterranean. OP was talking about coconut milk though; doesn't 'go' in pasta sauce.

Personally I think safe persistence is key. Ds decided recently he can't stand spinach having previously loved it. I just kept offering it but reduced the amount I put in and served it on the side with other things I knew he liked and would eat. Kept going with that for about a month and now he's back to eating it without bother...

Obviously all kids are different and some will be more sensitive to tastes/ textures etc but I think it's important to just keep trying it. I'd be inclined to still serve the same but a smaller portion/ sauce on the side and other things he likes that he can dip into it.

My mum used to make Psta bake every single week for my sister, I got so sick of it I still can't eat it to this day.

Maybe give him some unblitzed roasted veg and a bit of the sauce to dip?

Yeah, I think this is the best way to handle it

I would keep making it if the rest of you like it. Give him the pasta plain, keep a bit of sauce to the side in case he wants to add it. Someone once said to me that as parents we plan, shop, prepare and cook a meal. All the kids have to do is eat it. Very few children have genuine issues with food. Most of them just go through a phase where they start to express opinions and they’d rather eat chips and nuggets than a stew. If you pander to this you risk creating a situation where you have to cook limited or multiple types of meal. And this is really your choice about whether you are prepared to do that. When my kids did this I just always made sure there was some part of the meal that I knew they would have but I never cooked anything different for them. No fuss, they are or they didn’t, they never went hungry and the fads never lasted long. Also think about what they eat in the day overall, 4 year olds don’t eat that much so if he is having a good breakfast and lunch then he won’t come to any harm if he only picks at his evening meal when he’s not too keen on it. Good luck.

I don't understand the coconut outrage when most tinned c/milk just tastes like sweet cream. Once you've seasoned it you can barely(if at all) taste any coconut, so probably just tastes like creamy pasta.

The roast vegetables does sound good, so maybe leave a bit of that aside for your son's pasta. I wouldn't be taking a whole meal that everyone enjoys off the menu.

Agree . Also maybe gates cheese and cucumber or chopped veg instead of in the blender

This. My kids eat everything now .

I never made an issue with food, just offered it. One went weeks only eating Ps, peas pasta and potato.

Just kept serving the food, amended it if needed like above. But no value was ever place on any of it.

My son used to do this with spag bol. I just didn't make it for ages when I made it again he couldn't get enough of it.

It's 5 vegetables + garlic. 'not a lot'???

The dinner sounds really nice and I ll definitely be using it thanks. And the hidden vegetable pasta sauce recipe and the yoghurt flat breads.

I think someone needs to start a hidden vegetable meals that kids will eat thread.

To answer your question, I'd serve them plain pasta, with a bit of sauce on the side/in a little bowl, like the glass gu cheese cake bowls, I keep those. Maybe cheese on the pasta or have a bowl of plain veg to serve.

Put a little bit of the sauce in a little jug he can pour over the pasta himself, he might find that better.

I guess if you really don't like coconut and know there's coconut milk in it, you would be convinced you could taste it. But you really can't, it's exactly like you said, a crey pasta! I think the rest of us would really miss it if I didn't cook it again so roasted veg on the side sounds like a good idea

Literally your five a day in one serving but that's not enough apparently

Tbh I’d carry on making it. I started pandering to my two’s fussiness by doing different things and it’s become a bloody nightmare. My 8yo is now starting to be a bit more adventurous but her and her 5yo sister have completely different tastes and it is deeply frustrating. Things they both devoured as toddlers don’t get touched suddenly.

child 1: very good with sea food, meat, fruit and veg. Sounds great except- doesn’t like pizza, pasta, things with sauce other than katsu curry. Won’t eat sandwiches.

child 2: doesn’t like meat or fish. Loves pasta. Has become awkward about cheese, certain vegetables.

The meals they both eat happily are increasingly limited. I then tried being hardline and both will genuinely just not eat things they don’t like even if they’re hungry.

Out of curiosity (and probably advice as this sounds too familiar) what meals will they both happily have together?