to feel that I didn't really need that comment from my mum?

[emkana]

Was telling her today how ashamed I feel at times that I was so awful to dd2 at times when I had a terrible pregnancy with ds - there was a lot of uncertainty about his health, to the extent that we didn't know whether he would live. Dd2 was only 2 and a half at the time but unfortunately she often had to endure the brunt of my misery, and I deeply regret that now.

So did my Mum say "Well, she's a happy little girl now [which she is]"? No, she said "Yes I did cry about the way you talked to her sometimes."

YANBU
You certainly did not need that comment.

YANBU The timing of Mums is sometimes SOOO out. My Mum says really unhelpful things too sometimes. Is Grandma syndrome, they try their best not to comment but sometimes the odd little piece of unhelpfulness slips out.

I hope you and your dcs are all ok now xx

Oh Emkana. I have a horrendously tactless mum and I really feel for you. This is exactly the kind of thing she would say - making it somehoe about her and her suffering on top of making you feel bad.

It's so obvious from your posts that you are a wonderful caring person and mum... and if you had a tough time and it wasn't always easy for DD, well that's 100% normal. We all have tough times and it happens.

This will be the same mother that once made some awful comment about your lovely ds?

So - hear it from us: Your dd is a VERY happy little girl now, and I have no doubt she was a happy little girl when she was 2, as well.

Your mother is a menace to the soul!

Thanks all

She is in many ways very lovely, but just a tad insensitive at times.