For not liking my partner’s pet?

[MsMonday]

I moved in with my partner recently, and while I love him, I’m struggling to warm up to his dog. AIBU for feeling like this?

It depends what you mean by that. Thinking 'urgh' but making all the right sounds and leaving care up to DP is fine but expecting dogs routine to change, being mean to dog or expecting partner to rehome dog would be very unreasonable.

How was the dog such a surprise?

Did you not know about, or meet, the dog before you decided to move in?

What exactly is the issue - is the dog aggressive, smelly, overly affectionate? Very difficult to say whether YABU as all you’ve said is that you haven’t warmed to the dog.

You’re a terrible stepmother, you knew they came as a package & so love the dog as your own!

Seriously though, what’s not to love about a dog?! Surely you’d met him/her before you moved in?

Not being funny but why did you move in with your partner if you don’t like his pet.

I really hope he doesn’t dump his pet for you (not that I’m saying you’d expect him to)

I don't like dogs so I don't date people who have them. Some people say that's strange but dogs are a huge commitment and dictate the time you can spend out each day. Therefore, not for me.

What is your issue with his dog exactly?

I dunno. I once ditched a guy I was dating (only 6 months in) largely because of his dogs. Big, slobbery, smelly, hectic, always crashing around the place, vet this, vet that, bandages on tails, cones on heads, always dogs, dogs, dogs. I couldn't hack it.

Why would you move in with anyone whose dog you dislike?

Makes no sense.

Or were you and the dog best friends but fallen out since the move?

I definitely wouldn’t expect him to rehome the dog or change its routine. I just find myself feeling a bit detached from the dog, even though I’m trying to be supportive. I guess I’m just finding it harder than expected.

Probably better to be nice but detached.

If you get very close to the dog you may be expected to walk it sometimes or dogsit.

It wasn’t a surprise, I knew about the dog before moving in. I just didn’t expect it to be this difficult to adjust to living with a pet full-time. It’s been more of a challenge than I anticipated.

I wouldn’t be able to live with a dog. I love other people’s but not enough to have dog hair and fluids in my home.

I did meet the dog before moving in, and I didn’t think it would be an issue. But now that we’re living together full-time, I’m finding it harder to bond. The dog is very clingy and always wants attention, which can be overwhelming at times. I didn’t expect to feel this way, and I’m not sure how to handle it.

@MsMonday

what's the challenge?

I wasn't a dog person at all before I moved in with my ex and his dog. And wasn't even too keen on them. I grew to (sometimes reluctantly 😂) love her
But it certainly wasn't this massive love straight off like I had with my cats

I did meet the dog before moving in, and I understand they’re a package deal, but living with the dog FT has been different than I expected. I’m just finding it difficult to adjust to how much attention the dog needs. I don’t dislike the dog, I just didn’t realise how overwhelming it could be at times.

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I don’t have anything against dogs in general, but I’m struggling with certain aspects of living with one - like the constant attention it needs or the mess it makes. I’m just finding it hard to adjust to having a pet around 24/7.

I didn’t dislike the dog before moving in, I just didn’t anticipate how challenging it would be to adjust to living with it.

Adjusting to its constant need for attention and affection. I didn’t expect it to be so overwhelming, and it’s affecting my ability to bond with it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/d369vn/sheruineddlives/?utmsource=share&utmmmedium=mweb3x&utmname=mweb3xcss&utmmterm=1&utmcontent=shareebutton

It’s hard to tell from your posts if the dog is showing normal doggy behaviours or it’s actually a PIA. Which could be a result of poor training or not having its needs met.

eg muddy paws & shedding hair are normal, whereas pooing/weeing in the house are not.

Obviously dogs need attention & affection but they also need to learn to settle and play with chews etc on their own.

Can you tell us more about the dog - age, breed, routine?

The dog is 3 years old, and it’s a Labrador. Has two walks a day, feeding twice a day, and an hour of playtime in the afternoon.

The dog shouldn't need too much attention. Depending on what your definition of too much attention is? What do you mean by always needs attention?

I know they like being fussed (what pet doesn't) but there should be training in place for this not to be an issue. Do you know what breed it is? Some dogs are more needy than others from my experience.

I've been watching dogs behaving very badly recently and pretty much every behavioural issue has been fixed pretty quickly with proper training (I don't currently have a dog, but did have one growing up, who was my best mate, springer spaniel)

Do you feel too much attention from your partner is being directed towards the dog? Or are you feeling like you're spending too much time trying to placate the dog? Not trying to be devicive