Bridesmaid trouble

[Frustratedandunsure]

i got engaged in Feb (yay) and immediately knew who I would want to be my 3 bridesmaid. Sister as MoH and 2 close friends. I’ve been friends with these girls for 7 years when we worked in a retail shop when we were at uni - we are close despite not seeing each other regularly / texting much. I have tried to organise dinner with the 2 bridesmaids but the younger one (27) is just not responding. She always cancels and it got to the point I just had dinner with the other friend as I wanted to touch base with her about her life and what’s been going on ( till this point we always socialised as a 3)

i have tried texting and ringing the bridesmaid but she just isn’t answering. She doesn’t read my messages and when she does she promises to ring me but she’s not free coz she’s at dinner or show. I don’t begrudge her having a life, but if she can’t even answer the phone to me when I want to ask basic qs like when are you free to do a dress shopping or do you need a plus one at which point should I take the hint that she’s not interested. I sent a fairly direct msg saying I understand life can be crazy and if she can’t be part of the wedding then I understand but she needs to tell me - silence for 2 days and then responds with hey I’ll call you tonight. Never rang. I rang her , no answer. Finally responded today saying she’s out at dinner and for me to text her my questions.

i am not dramatic- if you can’t be a bridesmaid, no skin off my back. But without information from her saying so I’m in limbo. Kicking her out of the WhatsApp group seems harsh but I don’t know what else to do.

thoughts ?

ALL THESE COMMENTS AND AM I LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE THATS PICKED UP ON THE FACT SHES GOT A NEW BF AND NOW SHES DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH WHICH SHES NEVER DONE BEFORE !!!!
IM SERIOUSLY GLAD NOT ONE OF YOU ARE MY FRIENDS

Great, times have changed 43 years on...

I know
I still think that some brides are rather high maintenance these days.

That’s what I commented a bit further back too!!! That in her usual relationships she is as normal, however with this chap, she’s dropped off big time. I don’t know about anyone else but my alarm bells are going off. Anything could be going on here. I’d want to try and get closer to her, not drop her off a cliff as many PP’s have said.

That point struck me as soon as I read that comment from the OP! I would be worried that she has possibly/probably become involved with a controlling abuser who is preventing her from speaking to her friends, if her behaviour is put of character.

Only reason I’ve said you’re unreasonable (because you actually aren’t) is because with a new BF this is a HUGE red flag for her safety if she’s completely changed personality and she never ever seems ‘available’ and cannot text or call. If she’s close I would ‘drop in’ one day or evening and see how that plays out, perhaps with your BF in the car just in case. Sounds super fishy to me.

Or, you could move on and assume she has. Except if she’s close enough once to be asked to be your bridesmaid perhaps one final welfare check-in might be worth it?