Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

Yanbu op, it's not fair. I've been told I'm 'wasting away' which is apparently fine but if you comment that someone is overweight it's rude. Double standards and so unfair. Unless it's 'you look lovely / amazing / similar' keep your mouth shut imo!!

The environment where an average height woman with a BMI of 21 experiences comments such as being blown away by the wind or being accused of starving their baby because they have a small bump, and everyone at working thinking you don't eat.
I just can't fathom it. I never said I didn't believe you.

I hope you have kinder people around you now.

I'm not saying skinny shaming isn't a thing, it really is. I'm saying that I can't fathom why OP has been at the end of it as she's pretty much in the middle of the healthy BMI range.

BIg women around her being insecure is all it takes.

I’ve always been uber skinny, felt really self conscious about it for years, overheard a woman in the street saying I looked anorexic, ‘friends’ said it at school, people always telling me I needed to eat more…I was also complimented, but that was much less often.
Im 40 now and had 2 kids, I never did put on any weight! I can eat whatever I like and just stay the same, I’ve tried drinking complains, weight gain shakes etc…I’m just this size!
I don’t care anymore, I just think people are sad if they want to judge, if they want to believe I only eat lettuce let them. I’m healthy, my body has done me very well so far so I’m proud of it. But yes it’s accepted and it affected my confidence badly for many years.

i just wouldn’t dream of chatting to someone and saying ‘you need to eat less!’ ‘Don’t eat that burger tonight’ ‘you look like a tree trunk’ !!

Its true but it will never be seen as ' as bad' as fat shaming for some reason. I have a naturally low bmi and im
short - and most people i come across have zero problem telling me how unhealthy i look (i dont), how i need a good meal (i dont), im all bones (im not), i must be a fussy eater (im not). Crazy because if the roles were reversed and i said to someone with a high bmi - you're all blubber, you must not be fussy, you dont need to eat more...

Because some people have very poor perception of size. I have seen parents outraged at school letters after their kids are weighed, saying their children are ‘skin and bone’. When they really aren’t.

Some overweight people with overweight friends and family will describe a slim person as skinny because that’s what they genuinely ‘see’.

But do their comments actually make you feel bad about your body?

I just cant fathom feeling shame about being thin, unless you are genuinely freakishly thin and already feel bad about your body. Or perhaps if you are thin due to illness, as in OP’s chemo examples.

It’s not as bad as fat shaming on a societal level because like, I and others have mentioned, fat people are affected negatively in terms of medical treatment, employment etc.

On a personal level, of course it’s disgusting and shouldn’t happen.

It’s unpleasant and annoying, like all snide behaviour.

IMO almost no-one is seriously offended by it, especially if it’s coming from fat people as the OP claims. They’re just being drama llamas.

Exceptions being people who are actually so skinny it puts them outside the norm. These people are quite rare. The OP is not one of these people. I doubt most commenters are either.

@PeachTree500 of course it makes me feel shit. Its a completely random, unasked for opinion on my appearance with a negative undertone.

Don’t you feel good about being thin though, day to day? I do. Can’t imagine the odd comment from obviously insecure people shaking that. Don’t you just feel sorry for them?

The intent behind every comment is to make that person feel bad about themselves. To make them feel that their body is ugly, or that they shouldn't be proud of it - in other words, to make them feel ashamed. It is exactly the same, whether it is fat-shaming or skinny-shaming. The intent is to make you feel bad and to invalidate you.

Some people may be more susceptible to the mentally damaging effects of this behaviour but that applies regardless of the shape/size of the victim. On a national scale it is likely that a greater proportion of larger people experience this negativity than slimmer people do but, on an individual level, this doesn't make the experience worse. No-one should be dismissing another person's lived experience on the basis that another group has it worse. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom.

Are you overweight?

What i wouldn't give to be skinny shamed.

No, I’m a size 8, and have never been any larger than a size 8.

Yeah it's really fun being called anorexic and a skeleton, I really enjoy it.

This thread just seems to be a narrative around how it's not as bad as fat shaming so who cares. our feelings around having our bodies negatively commented on are not as valid as others.

Even if it came with chemotherapy making you throw your guts up in the toilet and people accusing you of being bulimic?

No, no you wouldn't.

@Yuja completely agree.

Can you really not understand how someone even a size eight could be affected by larger family constantly mocking them about being skeletal? Being told you look like an ‘Ethiopian’?

Or my 20y daughter who is naturally a size 4-6 at uni being told by mean girls that boys prefer boobs and bums so she needs to eat more or she won’t get a boyfriend.

Can you not understand how some people could be upset by being insulted. Esp if they are young and:or lack self-esteem? Really? You think being slim protects everyone against feeling fragile and insulted. Odd.

What a silly comment. Grow up being skinny/shamed and mocked during your formative years and see how you like it.

They're 2 completely different things

I know exactly what it's like to be fat-shamed. I'd much rather be skinny shamed.

What an ignorant comment.

Not really, I’ve proven that maintaining my weight required discipline . Something lacking in most cases of people who are overweight.