to be really annoyed with this woman? adults only pls, dont open if your dcs are lurking around...

[mamalovesmojitos]

at a birthday party yesterday for a girl in dd's creche.

i was talking to three other mothers about the tooth fairy, religion and the conversation moved onto santa.

one of the mother's said she will be telling her dd the truth about santa as soon as she asks, which we all presume will be soon as she is four.

she says that when she herself found out the truth it devastated her and she did not want to put her own dd through the disappointment.

when i pointed out that her dd wouldn't have the maturity to not share it with the rest of her class there was a cold silence.

my dd will be starting school with this girl and i dont care if it's crazy, i want her to have the magic of santa in her youth. i am also worried that this girl's mum will ruin it for the whole bloody class.

aibu???

I'm completely with F&Z, portandlemon and others on this one, ie that FC is a nice story but I would never insist that he's real.

Insisting (to a doubting child) that something is real when it's clearly a story is uncomfortably close to lying for me. Once they find out that you lied to them about FC, how will they trust you on other stuff in the future?

We do the " he come to children who believe in him, for the ones who don't the parents have to do pressies"
seems to have worked well for my older 2 and now for the youngest( who still believes).
And anyway I'm married to FC he does it every year for the local nursey!

OBM

No, just saying that my answering that question honestly to DD1 was a real low point in my parenting career! Lots of drama along the lines of "Christmas will never be the same...."

Now my answer is a hearty 'of COURSE he's real' to allcomers...

Vix, my dad has been doing FC for decades. Boy, did I get into trouble at the village hall when he boomed at me 'and have you been a good girl'... apparently I answered 'well, you should know'! I was severely told off, which I thought was very unfair given they hadn't actually told me I was supposed not to recognise my own father!

LOL Edam.. we are lucky as DD didn't go to that nursey ( it was through a friend).. not sure what we would have said tho. DH did have a nipper come up to him in the car park one year (he was in civvis) and gave him a huge hug and said " thank you santa. DH put his finger to his own mouth winked and said " Shhhhh" the little lad smiled and looked all twinkly!! LOL

This happened to my dd, she came home from school and said that X said santa wasn't real.
So I had to say Well, OF COURSE he's real, how on earth would the parents afford to buy all the presents?!! And Santa only comes to homes that believe ect ect.

I want my children to have the magic of christmas for as long as possible and I wasn't particularly happy about them being told that, but there's not a lot you can do about it, except telling them that the other children must be mistaken.

Why do some people apparently look back with such pleasure on believing in Frather Christmas, and others feel betrayed and let down by their parents?

Is it to do with how the parents treat the whole subject, or what age the children find out at?

I felt that my parents had made a fool of me, and didn't want to repeat the prank on my own children. But maybe I was just too old (8).

The man in red doesn't exist, neither does the chick who buys teeth.

It's all crap, and I've no intention of propagating it any further.

Moreso, any peoiple who ask my children "what are you getting from santa this year?" get told my thoughts, be they with children or not.

hmm ynbu in wanting th magic of santa to live on a little longer but there really isn't anything you can do about it.

Ds is 7 and questions whether santa is real everty now and then....but he doesn't on christmas eve

I would`nt want a child telling my dc the truth about FC.I thinks it magic and love the fact my kids believe.

If the parent wants to tell her child thats her choice but she should make it clear to him or her NOT to tell others that still do believe

Lazybum, I tell my children what I wish, and if they dedire to share their knowledge it's their choice to do so. Just because somebody chooses to lie to their children doesn't mean that I have to make mine do so as well

Yes you should tell your child what you wish thats your choice

But my wish is tell about fc,so respect that to.

YABU

DD knows that there is no easter bunny/tooth fairy and she is 7, the DS's are newborn and three so they will no doubt grow up knowing that fairies etc arent real.

With father xmas, I dont say yes or no as to him existing.

I like the miracle on 34th street idea, you cant prove a negative so in that respect cannot prove santa doesnt exist.

DD knows about saint nic and she knows about the coca cola advertising campaign making santa red, but if she asks me if he exists I just say 'who knows? I've never seen him, have you?' I think she probably knows, but doesnt want it confirmed as she never asks where the stockings come from or his 'muddy footprints' or who ate the mince pie etc, if she did I'd just say 'Who do you think ate them??'
I don't want to lie to her, but she can work it out for herself.

I respect our right to tell your child about the myth, but you cannot expect myself, my children or anybody else to help you perpetuate it. That's the point I'm making. If you choose to lie, you have to make plans for the day you're caught out

YABU

ha ha madmuggle my views are the same as yours. I was nearly crucified the first time I vented them years ago on mn!

I can't see why people get upset. It's not as though I go to every child in the playground and tell them that the dude in red is a myth. I just make it known to my own kids. If they get into a debate at school then good for them, debate is good and healthy.

Unlike coffee at this time of night. Please excuse while I go make another cup

I've only skim read but I didn't have FC for the simple reason that I had whooping cough over Christmas when I was four, so was awake (and whooping!) to see my parents fill my stocking. I smugly told all the other kids that he wasn't real but none of them cared. It never made the slightest bit of difference to me and my brothers - we still wrote letters to Santa, left out sherry (and Weetabix for the reindeers), sat on department store Santas' knees etc

Conversely, a friend's 11 year old cousin revealed while at secondary school that he still believed in FC. Apparently it had never occurred to him to question what his parents were telling him (kind of concerning in itself, but hey ho) and was devastated to find out they'd been lying to him all his life!

Similarly an ex-colleague of mine spent several thousand pounds the Christmas before last on a trip to Lapland to see Santa, for the sole purpose of re-convincing her daughter that FC is real.

I fully intend to lie to my kids quite extravagantly about all sorts of things, but to preserve and protect the myth of Santa just seems bizarre.

As an addendum, DH has just read over my shoulder and hilariously is devastated that I didn't believe in FC after the age of four, despite the fact that Santa never brought him anything much more exciting than satsumas and that he thinks ex-colleague's DD mentioned above will be bullied for her unfaltering belief in FC!

A Santa thread? In April?

Nothing like being prepared early, eh?

YABU, btw, it's entirely up to each parent to decide what to do with their own children. As long as they also teach them to respect that other people do things differently, I don't see a problem.

My children play a game that there is a man called Santa who comes, but they know it's just a game. They smile indulgently at the adults who ask them what Santa is going to to bring them because they don't want to disappoint the adults.

i never believed in santa cos my older sister told me. it never bothered me, she will still have a concept of who santa is. i wouldn't let it worry you, it will provide interesting debate then your dd will come and check the facts with you - then you can set her straight [ironic smirk]