To tell my neighbour he's a fucking knobhead

[NobbyNeighbour]

So we have a bungalow at the back of us, always got on with the lady who lived there. We have a thick conifer hedge between us which is about 8ft tall. It's our hedge, dh cuts the height and our side. Occasionally she would ask us to cut her side and being nice I would send dh to do it even though technically it's her responsibility.

Her adult (in his 40s) son moved in and the word is in the village he's not nice but I never had anything to do with him. Then last year he came banging on our front door ranting at dd about the hedge. Told her "tell your parents they've got till 5pm tonight to decide what they're doing, either they cut my side of the hedge this weekend or I cut it and send them the bill". Really shouty. I didn't bother going round to discuss with him as I knew neither option would be occurring. It was a foot deep in snow so hardly hedge cutting weather and I'm not paying for something that's his responsibility. He's never been back and hasn't cut the hedge.

Then yesterday evening he lights a bonfire 2ft from our hedge. It's not the first big fire he's had on the boundary but this was the worst. Right on our side of the hedge we have a garden office. The flames were at least 9ft high, I could see them over the hedge. He's a cowboy builder and often has bonfires as he burns stuff from his work. Ash was raining down all over the garden. I was scared for the hedge and garden office, I could smell petrol so think he'd put petrol on it. There were little bangs and explosions so God knows what he was burning. I started shouting at him and he was laughing and shouting "you need to cut your hedge". I lost my shit at that point and called him a fucking knobhead and dialled 999. Fire brigade put the fire out. But apparently he felt I was overreacting. Stupid idiot has actually burnt the fascia board on his own garage!

I don't even think he's doing it to try and damage the hedge, I just think he's as thick as mince and doesn't give a shit. Apparently he's always threatening people in the village. I know he was mouthing off in the shop a bit ago threatening to burn some people out if he found who had objected to his planning permission.

So while I'm still mad as hell I'm also slightly nervous! I videoed quite a bit yesterday, not sure if I contacted the council whether they'd talk to him about the bonfires but guess I can't prove he's burning non domestic stuff?

Except in this case the neighbour DID expect them to cut it that very day in the snow, or did you not read the op where it said "Told her "tell your parents they've got till 5pm tonight to decide what they're doing, either they cut my side of the hedge this weekend or I cut it and send them the bill"."

There's also the factor that whatever the weather, the neighbour's side of the hedge is full of rubble & potholes, and therefore unsafe for them to access to trim the aforementioned hedge at any time of year.

People may feel OP has a moral responsibility to maintain both sides of the hedge but she has no LEGAL responsibility to do so. As has already been posted, however, if an evergreen hedge is higher than two metres a complaint can be made to the council.

It seems odd to me your DH has to go to their house to cut the hedge. When there's a grown man there perfectly capable of doing it. I can understand helping out an elderly neighbour. But all this time he's been harassing you it would have taken him less time to do it himself. Instead of him barking orders at your husband. He's not a paid gardener FFS. Who does he think he is?

It's your hedge and you are responsible for cutting both sides.

OK you need the neighbour's permission to enter their garden to do it, but it's still your responsibility. If they refuse permission then you can leave it to them but I doubt they'd have much success in billing you if they cut it/arrange for it to be cut.

The OP chose to have a hedge, did they get their neighbour to agree to it beforehand and also get them to agree to take on the three times a year cutting it back, whilst working at heights? I very much doubt it as people are inconsiderate.
My neighbour put a hedge in years ago and now I have 3 solid days work every year cutting the thing back, it's 100ft and over 8ft tall, needs ladders and all sorts, and if we don't do the top then it doesn't get done.
Don't put a hedge in unless you'll maintain ALL of it. Why impose a maintenance burden on your neighbours? It's rude and selfish imo.
Using your argument my neighbour is perfectly capable of cleaning MY car, but I don't expect them to do it, I bought it so it's my responsibility to maintain.

You would be surprised.

Having sadly been adjacent to a bully neighbour and having many years to test out various strategies.

Actually it’s the pretend you have gone psycho and ‘give as good as you can back’ is the only strategy that actually works.

My ndn (have good ndn one side) the one I'm referring to is not so good.
They have a massive hedge to the height of my guttering, the hedge is on their side of the 6ft fence.
It overhangs my garden, weeds and vines are intertwined in it, the vines attach themselves to my guttering and then my solar panels.
Do you have any idea how difficult & bloody irritating it is to keep on top of someone else's hedge, the expensive, the hard work, the difficulty getting rid of the rubbish?
I'm late 50's and it's finally beaten me.
It annoys me every time I look out into the garden, I keep on top of my garden, it's my sanctuary which is being ruined by inconsiderate ndn's.
I don't agree with the actions of your neighbour but why should he have to deal with your hedge, it's yours, you should maintain it both sides.

This thread seems to be 50% certain its OP’s responsibility and 50% certain it’s angry neighbour’s. I freely admit I don’t know for sure which is right, but in my experience people around here do whatever is in their own garden. Stuff hanging over from next door I will deal with.

I wouldn't t like to live next door to somebody who used such language. Tbh.

It’s not the angry neighbour’s responsibility exactly but he is permitted to cut anything overhanging into his garden. He doesn’t have to but he can.

I think in many cases people acquire these hedges when they purchase the property and naively don’t give much thought to their maintenance until much further down the line.

He is a knobhead, but yes YWBU to tell him so. That information will not help.

YWNBU to tell him that you have previously cut the hedge for his mum as a kindness and a favour, to be neighbourly, but it is not your responsibility and neither you nor DH will set foot on their side of the boundary while all the building detritus is there causing hazards, or at all while he is maintaining his agressive and threatening attitude. If he can sort out the ground and can develop a more neighbourly attitude you may be able to restore a positive relationship and if asked for a similar favour you may be able to consider it.

Whilst either side can do things to a hedge such as trim it , The neighbours who own the hedge are responsible for maintenance - which would include both sides

Doesn't seem ambiguous

Thinking back, many years ago we lived in a house where a previous owner had planted a privet hedge around the whole garden. Next door had a fence around theirs. I cut the whole of the hedge because it was clearly on ours,not his. Others in the street had no fence or hedge.
(BTW the next door neighbour was an idiot but for entirely another reason.)
I can't work out if that is the case with this hedge. What do the deeds say?

You can shout all you like, but you're wrong.

Can’t and won’t argue with stupid

I have a very similar leylandi hedge/trees between me and neighbour, I planted the trees around two sides of my garden one of which is on the path side. I get it trimmed every year and always send the man in next door to knock and ask permission to trim it on their side, of course they agree! While I may not technically be responsible for cutting their side it seems only fair when it's my trees/hedge. It only costs an hour or so extra work for my guy to do it compared to the hassle of ndn having to find someone to do it and take away the stuff.

The way posters speak with such authority and be so utterly wrong would be hilarious, but the same posters are all over the DV and family court threads giving dangerous information…

How old is your DD? Is she a child? I would report a 40 year old man for shouting at and intimidating a child on her own doorstep

Same on the finance threads. Crazy

I wouldn't be agreeing to anything with that attitude. You won't get any thanks for it and it will open the floodgates for a load more unreasonable behaviour. These people see 'reasonableness' as weakness.

It’s not really either of their responsibility! If he is happy to have it sprawling into his garden he can leave it. If he wants it trimmed, he can trim it. But it’s certainly not OP’s responsibility to go onto someone else’s property to trim their side of their hedge.

Our hedges were in place when both neighbours, and we, moved here. They knew what they were getting and so did we. Old beech hedges are a feature and benefit wildlife. There is no way I'd be cutting their side too, it's just how hedges work, each person cuts their side.

It would be ridiculous to go round to all your neighbours and cut any plants, trees, hedges that are on the border but technically start in your land.

It is his responsibility and as you say, now he has reacted like that I definitely wouldn't be going round there to do it as a goodwill gesture.

This. It’s your very large hedge that your neighbour had no choice about but you expect her to cut it? I don’t care what the law says have some common decency for your neighbours.

but yes, the son is an arse to act the way he has

They don't actually say they put it there themselves. Might have been done when the houses were built.

They also said At the time we couldn't do it due to a combination of snow and piles of rubble. The piles of rubble and also excavated holes remain in his garden right up to the hedge, he's literally being excavating with a mini digger for months. It's like a building site, I'm not going in, it's not safe. You couldn't stand on a step ladder. If it's a safe environment and he talks to us rather than ranting we'll think about it.

So how are they supposed to cut it at height with the garden in that condition?