To tell my neighbour he's a fucking knobhead

[NobbyNeighbour]

So we have a bungalow at the back of us, always got on with the lady who lived there. We have a thick conifer hedge between us which is about 8ft tall. It's our hedge, dh cuts the height and our side. Occasionally she would ask us to cut her side and being nice I would send dh to do it even though technically it's her responsibility.

Her adult (in his 40s) son moved in and the word is in the village he's not nice but I never had anything to do with him. Then last year he came banging on our front door ranting at dd about the hedge. Told her "tell your parents they've got till 5pm tonight to decide what they're doing, either they cut my side of the hedge this weekend or I cut it and send them the bill". Really shouty. I didn't bother going round to discuss with him as I knew neither option would be occurring. It was a foot deep in snow so hardly hedge cutting weather and I'm not paying for something that's his responsibility. He's never been back and hasn't cut the hedge.

Then yesterday evening he lights a bonfire 2ft from our hedge. It's not the first big fire he's had on the boundary but this was the worst. Right on our side of the hedge we have a garden office. The flames were at least 9ft high, I could see them over the hedge. He's a cowboy builder and often has bonfires as he burns stuff from his work. Ash was raining down all over the garden. I was scared for the hedge and garden office, I could smell petrol so think he'd put petrol on it. There were little bangs and explosions so God knows what he was burning. I started shouting at him and he was laughing and shouting "you need to cut your hedge". I lost my shit at that point and called him a fucking knobhead and dialled 999. Fire brigade put the fire out. But apparently he felt I was overreacting. Stupid idiot has actually burnt the fascia board on his own garage!

I don't even think he's doing it to try and damage the hedge, I just think he's as thick as mince and doesn't give a shit. Apparently he's always threatening people in the village. I know he was mouthing off in the shop a bit ago threatening to burn some people out if he found who had objected to his planning permission.

So while I'm still mad as hell I'm also slightly nervous! I videoed quite a bit yesterday, not sure if I contacted the council whether they'd talk to him about the bonfires but guess I can't prove he's burning non domestic stuff?

How is OP also horrible? They’ve explained why they’re not cutting the neighbour’s side and it sounds reasonable to me.
Even if it were OP’s responsibility to cut both sides, would you expect them to go when it was snowing and with lots of obstructions in front of the hedge/fence? They’ve already said they would if it were cleared up!

Basically it's an unfortunate combination of you imposing a massive hedge on him that he has no choice but to maintain and him being a massive arse hole. Personally I'd be more worried about his mum, assuming she's still in the house? Maybe you could have a chat with her?

Log his behaviour with the police. Keep a comprehensive diary of what he does. Ask him to stop harassing you and then log each subsequent interaction with the police. Call 999 for every fire and environmental health if he’s burning materials that produce dangerous gases.

Tell me you don’t understand boundaries without telling me you don’t understand boundaries.

OP sounds horrible?! Are you mad? Why should OP be nice and kind and do a job for someone effin and jeffin about it, at a time when they wouldn't be able to anyway?

I can tell you're exactly the type of doormat that lets people like him walk all over you, or frets about the most inane crap. It's not rude or illegal to say no to someone, especially when they've behaved like OP's neighbour.

I think i made it pretty clear in my post. Whilst the OP may not be obliged by law to look after both sides of her hedge/trees its pretty shitty to do that to a neighbour imo. That makes her as bad as the knobhead setting fire to stuff......is that ok with you?

A good neighbour considers how their own trees impact neighbours and works to look after them.

Do you know trees dont just get overgrown overnight? Dont give me 'they cant do it in the snow' excuse.

Wow thats cutting. Tell me you cant read someones post without telling me you cant read someones post. I did say regardless of the law

You don't have to cut the hedge on his side. You cut your side, that's it.

And he sounds dangerous and vile so have nothing to do with him. No, don't start trying to rattle his cage. He really doesn't need it rattling. Just pretend he doesn't exist, but call the fire brigade if he has a crazed bonfire again.

Totally with you on this, OP. I agree with pps - call the Firies out each time because it's a genuine danger.

There are bonfires and then there are 'bonfires'. A small pile of autumn leaves once a year might be one thing, closely supervised, but I've seen some shockingly dangerous garden fires in my time. Our neighbours in our previous house dumped their entire old kitchen and plastic three-suite on their patio one summer and then chucked petrol on it on the August Bank Holiday weekend. It burned for hours and hours, and ash fell on all the neighbours' gardens. The fire was about 12 feet from our house too. There are some stupid people around.

This. Yes he’s a knob but they’re your trees.

I have a neighbour like you and I have to dispose of all YOUR tree cuttings that hang over my side.

Be reasonable. They’re YOUR trees. If they died, no more trouble for the neighbour.

Just do your bit.

I have two neighbours, lovely conscientious neighbours who always ask how I feel about their encroaching trees and come round and cut and take away and then the dickheads who let their laurel pretty much push the fence down with new branches and world never dream of asking to cut them and take the branches away of which there are many and require a full afternoon of my time plus another afternoon cutting up and taking up all the room in the compost local council bin THAT I PAY FOR.

There are times I’m tempted to pour litres of round up over the fence on it.

FFS, just be a good neighbour. Cut the damned trees. YOUR trees.

Ahh, nice to see someone use the word reasonable rather than lawful.

For those talking about the fires etc, my guess is someone who is willing to start a dangerous fire near to his own building and the neighbours trees might be willing to do other things. Making it a policy to call the fire brigade is fine for such situations but actually trimming the trees and keeping the peace might just solve the issue without things escalating.

Lighting a fire that big was completely unreasonable of him.
But, I also think you are being unreasonable too. Hedges are an absolute nuisance. Our neighbours have one and we really resent having to waste hours of our own time cutting it back when it’s not ours. Our neighbour expects us to cut it back, but also had a go at us as they thought we had cut it back too much.

About 10 yrs ago, I had similar problems with builders burning stuff behind some houses that were being updated... it was obvious from the noxious smoke and the smell that they were burning plastic, quick call to the council soon softened their cough. I would also suggest you check your local byelaws to check what they say about lighting bonfires, it was pretty strict where I used to live, but is non-existant where I live now.

And yes, he sounds like a total knobby dick!

He does sound like a twat but I do wonder if his mum has been moaning about the hedge for years and is distressed by it. How big is his garden if he can have a bonfire on the boundary with yours and still damage their garage? I’m imagining quite a small garden - in which case an 8 foot hedge wouldn’t be very neighbourly - even if it is legally ok. Presumably his mum’s garden wasn't always full of holes and crap and you still chose not to cut the hedge much.

The problem is he is a bully so you now have to call the police and fire brigade every time he has a dangerous bonfire and report that you think he’s burning petrol and non household waste.

I've lived in a number of houses with hedges belonging to us and various neighbours...everyone has always just cut their own side of the hedge and treated it as a shared hedge. I've never heard of anyone arranging access to their neighbours garden and cutting their side too. Even though people do other neighbourly things like lend each other bits, put put bins and take in parcels. Is this hedge cutting something that is a practice in a specific part of the UK or something?

Our neighbour has a beech hedge about 7 ft hight around their front garden. They maintain their side and ours and remove the cuttings.

I wouldn't want either of you as my neighbours.

I also wasn't aware that people considered hedges to be a nuisance. They look a bit nicer (imo) than fences, are less prone to damage, don't need painting and replacing, don't blow down, don't cost a lot to install, better for wildlife etc. Do people generally prefer fences then?

keep the receipts. record every encounter. Call 999 whenever you are actually threatened or a fire happens. Be calm and collected and above all else, record things.

If it’s your hedge I’d say you’re responsible for cutting the whole thing, no? It doesn’t seem
fair to impose a huge hedge on the neighbour and expect them to cut their side. Of course the guy is a dickhead and the fire was utterly irresponsible but you should be cutting the whole hedge because it’s yours.

If it's a leylandii hedge then they will burn even when green, with or without petrol as an accelerant. And they're usually pretty choked with dead matter in the middle that will act as kindling.

If you've put your garden office close to the hedge, I would be having a serious look at whose hedge it is. And if it is yours (or it's unclear) taking full advantage of the knobhead's attitude to the hedge to take it down and replace with a fence. You'll probably get several feet of garden back that the hedge is currently overgrowing at the same time that you can plant with something that will grow and provide the same view block the hedge did.

It might not even be 8ft. Not sure. I think it looks tidy. The roof behind is a bungalow on the right and a garage on the left not a house

Dh has always cut the height twice a year. We cut it both sides yearly but his garden has looked like a bomb site for ages so we can’t. If he comes round and has a calm conversation and clears space we’d do it again. But I’m not engaging with him when he comes and rants at dd.

Thats rubbish, (I think🙂) I am responsible for cutting my hedge in my garden but no chance I am going into my neighbours garden to cut their side of my hedge, once it is growing over into their boundary that part is for them to cut. I would hate someone waltzing into my garden to cut a hedge because the roots were in their garden. Trespassing. The op sounds reasonable and the neighbour sounds like one of those folks with a stinking attitude.

I'd put cameras up. I wouldn't trust him to not do deliberate damage. I agree to keep phoning the fire brigade.