‘I didn’t know what to buy you so I didn’t get you anything’

[LadyBlaBlah]

Said by my mum. It’s my 50th birthday.

AIBU?!?

That's shit OP.
Sorry.

My parents are a pain to buy for as they got everything.
They insist that the money spent on presents should spent on me instead

Awful. She could have bought you flowers and a gift voucher if she really didn’t have a clue

I'm not bothered about my own birthday tbh but it's nice to get something for a milestone birthday, even a card and homemade cake would be lovely and thoughtful, so unless your mother has no hands or the ability to do those things then I think it's quite hurtful.

Is she usually like this op or is it new behaviour?

I'm the same as my birthday in January. Plus had a milestone birthday during lockdown. My mortgage balance then was about £5k as did overpayments and paid more - worked out by paying an extra £75 a month, I could reduce my repayment period by 5-7 years. So parents paid that off as part of my 40th birthday as they couldn't go on holiday, days out, meals out.

Make sure you say/do the same when your DM is 70 - or 75 (whenever her next 'big' birthday is.) Or say the same thing at Christmas.

What a shitty excuse to not be fucked to buy you anything. Horrible. 😖 Is she normally this cruel and callous?

Happy birthday OP💐

That's very poor form.

Be sure & follow suit at her birthdays. That's a crap excuse, flowers, a gift voucher anything would have been better than that excuse

Happy Birthday. Hope you had a good day regardless

All she had to do was ask you if there was anything you wanted. That's really bad, I'm sorry OP

I’m not totally sure what to make of it. She’s never been very nurturing, I’ve generally been fine with that and it’s made me very independent in life. I think recently I’ve noticed her thoughtlessness a bit more and this just felt pretty hurtful. A plant from the supermarket would have sufficed. I’m not even arsed about birthdays but I think saying those words (twice) felt rather cruel!

I would definitely be returning those words to her on her next birthday (and every birthday thereafter).

Congratulations @LadyBlaBlah , on your 50th!