AIBU to not allow Snapchat for a 12 year old?

[ImaBuilder]

My just turned 12 year old is howling because I’m not letting her have Snapchat. It’s been going on for about a month.

I’m so tired of the constant battle on this topic.

I feel like she’s pushed so hard and I said no so often that I now have to stay firm.

help

You're right. The Australian government has just brought in a law banning social media for children and apparently the UK government is looking into it.

Hang firm .

The problem with Snapchat is that it has disappearing messages, so it's impossible for you to monitor.

Told my 12 yr old no. Apparently all their mates have it but I stuck with a firm no

absolutely yanbu. Look on YouTube - Bo Burnham Snapchat. He basically asks a question onto why they would want to create an app for children where photographs disappear ? On principle I find it horrific.

that being said - I’m not sure how virulent it is in her circle of friends. if you have any social media at all I would compromise - tell her you will set up a Snapchat - ask your friends on social media to add you on snap and then spend a week really trying to understand it, engage with it etc.

then after a week or two if you find it ok - she can have her own Snapchat account on your phone, that you know how to view, engage with etc

there is zero way I’d let her have unregulated access. My daughters not asked yet (she probably knows better than to ask ) so this is the strategy Ive devised for if the time comes.

God no, for so many reasons, dick pics, the messages vanish, bullying etc also don't they have an age restriction on the app.

I told my 11 year old no, she has been asking for a year and can cont Ur to ask for all I care, the answer will be the same for a few years at least. She is the youngest of the class and apparently most of the class has Snapchat, Instagram, tik tok etc.

Absolutely not and the howling would only strengthen my resolve.

No to SnapChat, no to WhatsApp for my nearly 12 year old.

I'm a secondary teacher and I see/hear horrendous stuff. If DS1 wants to contact friends, he's got iMessage, which is easy for me to keep tabs on.

absolutely no way in hell for snapchat for my 12 year old here.

Firm no.

No - stand firm. And “all” her friends won’t have it. There will be the odd parent making sensible choices.

No. Plenty of other forms of messaging far better than Snap. Especially not at 12!

Let me nearly 13 year old have it just last week.
Might live to regret it but she was the only one in her group to not have it (not her whining, l know this is true) - she is a sensible girl and l would rather she had it and talked about it openly than used it on a friend's phone

My sis in law is much younger than us. She’s 16 now and when she 15 we had a call to say paramedics were trying to resuscitate her. She’d been using Snapchat to get any drugs she could and supplied her pals etc. almost lost her life.
Incidentally, she’s learned nothing and despite removing devices, she can still access drugs. So i would avoid it if i were you

Tell her it was created for sharing nude photos and she isn't allowed to. Then talk a lot about naked photos.

Seems to help repulse children I know

My nearly 12 yr old has also asked recently, and actually wrote a whole speech and presented it to us. Still said no. I explained to her that’s it’s not her actions we are actually worried about, it’s everyone else! She also had no idea about unsolicited pics or that the age 13 rating is only to do with minimum age to keep data rather than a suitable age.

I remember when my 12 year old had a mini tearful
episode over this, I said I’m not worried about you being sensible I’m concerned at what you might be exposed to at a young age that isn’t acceptable.

I know her ‘friends’ who have all these cool
apps they’re coming away from their sport, they’re focussing on fashion more, nails etc, my DD is a sporty bookworm and I want it to stay that way tbh!

Would be worth reading this article in the FT with her "The teen mental health crisis: a reckoning for Big Tech"

YANBU. I did not allow it when DS was 12. I can't stop him now he's 16 but I held out as long as possible.

I have an 11 year old in tears in bed right now because I’ve said no. She wants it for the filters - a lot of her friends have it.

The tears and constant asking for it only strengthen my resolve to hold
firm - I’m glad I’m not alone.

filters was the reason mine wanted it. I explained there are other apps for filters

I'd say absolutely no at 12, on top of everything else the pressure to maintain a streak is 🤯

Please say no.

I said yes to my DD when she turned 13 - last in the class to have etc etc, she said. I didn't want her to feel excluded.

She is now 14 and she attempted suicide a few months ago.

I now know that Snapchat isn't just a messaging/photo app but has all sorts of horrible content, glorifying suicide, eating disorders etc. I thought I'd protected her from this stuff by not allowing tiktok, YouTube etc, but no.

Not saying it directly caused the many problems she has, but it sure as fuck didn't help.

As someone who needs to use it occasionally..do not let your 12 year old use Snapchat.

Full of predators. I cannot stress this enough. Within about five minutes your daughter will have random men adding her. As soon as she accepts they will be sending filthy videos and pics (snaps) of themselves.

She’s going to be exposed to this on the net anyway, hold off.

I don't let my 13 yo have it. TBH I don't think I'm going to give his younger sibling a smart phone at all.