AIBU to not allow Snapchat for a 12 year old?

[ImaBuilder]

My just turned 12 year old is howling because I’m not letting her have Snapchat. It’s been going on for about a month.

I’m so tired of the constant battle on this topic.

I feel like she’s pushed so hard and I said no so often that I now have to stay firm.

help

I think the minimum age is supposed to be 13, but I wouldn't let a child of mine near it - I'm basing that on my experience as a secondary school teacher.

It's distracting, it's used for bullying and, worst of all, it's used for grooming.

I had two 13 yr old girls in my class exchanging messages with "Tommy, aged 11".

"Tommy" sent them a pic of his erect, adult-sized penis. (One of the girls showed me her phone. The school called the police.)

I don't understand exactly how it works, but the problem with the blooming thing is that kids get addicted to it.

"Put your phone away!"

"I cannae! I'll lose my streak!"

Exactly. This. Is. Happening!

Why are so many people in denial about this?! They don't want their kids to be left out so they would rather leave them wide open to being exposed to literally anything.

Saw this today..

about.fb.com/news/2024/09/instagram-teen-accounts/?

It might help, but you'll still get adults masquerading as children.

Definitely say no. Life is already difficult for young ones as is - don't complicate it any further.

Stick to no.

I have just created a fake profile myself to see what happens. Doesn’t look like anyone can contact me except friends or current contact though so that element seems to have changed.

I'm going to be the only voice here but I would let them have it. It's the only way kids communicate now so if they don't have they will miss out. They can change the settings so all messages stay and are not deleted as a default and you can check their phone daily-that could be part of the deal.
I think kids need to be taught how to use messaging apps responsibly How else can they arrange to meet their friends? No one young uses Watsapp now. We might not like it but I think this is the future now and there's no going back. We need to teach kids how to stay safe online. Banning these apps will only make them appear more desirable IMO.

I have a 16yo dd who was only allowed Snapchat and other social media apps at 16. Until then we limited her web access to white listed sites, no YouTube until 13, no ability to download apps, no WhatsApp until the worst of the Y7 nastiness was over, no other social media.

She’s now very sensible, sets her own time limits and sleep time, consults us on how to set up profiles to maximise her privacy, and has chosen not to download some apps as she can see they aren’t positive for her friends.

So it is entirely possible to be strict and have it turn out well. I do think that at 16 she is so much more able to manage her phone use - it is a huge difference from 12yo.

I think Snapchat is really toxic and I’ve seen so much dodgy stuff it when I used it as a teenager.

My son also tries to use the 'it's allowed from 13 so I can get it then' but I read recently that apps only set the age at 13 as that is the minimum age they can legally store your data. It's not because they care and think that at 13 it's appropriate.

The parents in my daughter's year group had a visit from the police over the summer due to Snapchat.
They had set up a group chat to communicate with each other and one of the girls allowed someone they didn't know to join the group.
That "someone" turned out to be a man in his mid 30s who subsequently sent vile photos into the group and had a known history of sexual offending.
My daughter wasn't in the group as we don't allow her to have it and she doesn't own a mobile phone but needless to say the parents who let their child use the app so they didn't feel left out are now a bit more aware of just how dangerous it is

Well done everyone on here resisting. OP, show her this thread if you think it’s useful. She is not the only one without it. I’m going to show it to my 11 year old. We are doing the right thing by them by saying no.

I have said no to my 12 year old too. She's my oldest so wondering what age to allow this, TikTok etc. I'm thinking by the time she's 14 it might be more difficult to say no but I reckon it is as damaging to a 14 yr olds mental health as it is to a 12 yr olds...

Mine is 13 and it's a hard no from me. She knows if she downloads it I will take her phone off her.

My son is 10
His classmates had one and I read some of the things on It and took him straight back off it

John Haidt is very good on all of this. The longer we can hold off on all of it the better. I believe what a pp said, that things are starting v slowly to start to change for the better.