To not take excited 4 year old to his first lesson

[JustSaltPlease]

Arggg help me out. Meant to take son to first swimming lesson today, he's been asking about it for a while.

Problem number 1 is I have a heavy period, although this isn't a massive bother.

Problem 2 is my puppy sitter has let me down and my little pup isn't used to being alone yet, between school pick up and lesson I'd be gone around 1.5 to 2 hours. So please confirm that I have to let my son down!

Dp saying to leave puppy in kitchen but God knows what stress he will be under and subsequently what damage he will do!

Consider crate training your puppy while he’s small going forward - create a dark cozy den with toys in it that he’s safe being left in for a couple of hours.

some people are hugely anti crates - but I think they’re a very useful tool for dogs as they get used to being in a big house by themselves

If you are stressed out enough to write a post on MumsNet I would say just leave it for this week as you're likely to be worried about the puppy and the period and if it's a class you need to be in the pool for too it's a faff enough!

He's 4 and I know it feels like the most important thing today but one day he'll be 14 and he'll have done gazillions of swimming lessons and won't remember one missed one. I have 12 and 16 year old boys who've done lots of various sports, music lessons and scout activities regularly over the years and sometimes it's just not possible to do everything all the time - car breakdown, a one off awards ceremony or match or concert for an activity that clashes with something else. That's different from just not being arsed.

Grant yourself some grace, tell him you'll go next week. Maybe as a distraction have his favourite weekday tea or some other low key no cost treat!

The responses on this thread! You're not 'choosing a dog over a child' if you can't take him swimming on one occasion, because of tricky logistics involving a pet that he wanted and will hopefully enrich his life in other ways. The consequences of disrupting a young puppy's training (eg separation anxiety) cpuld be much worse than the consequences of not going swimming with your son (upset until you distract with something else, and can.go another week)

You’d leave the puppy alone overnight though right? (Ie downstairs whilst you’re upstairs). Just take him for a walk before and then he’ll sleep whilst you’re out. You do need to leave home eventually without him…

I didn't plan on getting a puppy yet but he asked and asked. Given his enthusiasm I thought "why not". So no, he didn't nag me into it.

He asked and asked - could be the dictionary definition of "nagged"

What? The son will be fine. Not sure about the puppy. When you have to balance actively distressing a living being and disappointing another one I think distress trumps disappointment.

Just want to add: I'm not a dog lover. I don't have dogs. I have kids. I l9ve my kids and I hate disappointing them but sometimes it can't be helped. It's not dog versus child. Op is not asking whether she should leave her son alone for 2h, which would cause him stress as well or her puppy. She's asking whether it's ok to disappoint her son so as to not cause distress to the puppy. Not going swimming is not the same kind of distress. What if she wasn't well and couldn't take him? Sometimes kids have to be disappointed unfortunately. In the grand scheme of things it's a good lesson that sometimes other beings do take precedence.

I'd take your kid to swimming lesson, most lessons are 30min, the chances are you'll only be gone 1 hour.
I bet the pup will sleep more than that.

Can't believe this is a question. Put in a tampon and leave the dog fgs.

I think you are doing the right thing.

Your son will be fine!!! However, could someone else watch the pup a couple of hours? That way everyone is happy...

Please don’t put the puppies needs ahead of your son. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but the puppy will be absolutely fine as it’s not a long stint and they have to get used to it.

Your child needs to always come before your pet. Have you got a crate? Pop puppy in there it will be fine

But the swimming lesson wasn't a 'need'.

The op has found an excellent alternative so everyone is happy (except maybe a few opinionated MNers)

Put the puppy in its crate and prioritise your son. The puppy will be fine. Surely it sleeps on its own at night?

What? Tampon?

It's not a question of prioritising the puppy it's about potentially inflicting damage that could take a long time to undo.

@Striebel I am very much a dog lover! I have always had dogs.
You are presuming the puppy will be distressed. I'm just saying I bet the puppy will be fine left for an hour with some toys and chews.

We will have to disagree I think.

People saying ‘leave the pup’ shows exactly why we have so many abandoned and badly behaved dogs in this country. It is a baby social mammal. Leaving it for 90 mins is as irresponsible as leaving a baby alone for that amount of time and the stress will impact its brain development. I understand that your son will be disappointed, but if a dog sitter can’t be found, you really do need to stay home with the dog.

Reread the OP.

You're doing fine OP, some of these responses are just ridiculous.

To all the posters suggesting it - you can't just leave a puppy for two hours when it's never been left before - it's cruel and could cause a severe separation anxiety going forward.

Hmm dog or child........?

Honestly, leave the puppy.

Your puppy has been left along much longer than that while you sleep, so what's the issue?

This site is bananas 😂 choosing not to leave a little puppy for two hours isn’t prioritising a dog over a child, it’s basic common sense. A dog that hasn’t been left that long might display distressed behaviour which wouldn’t be nice to come home to- it might even chew through a kitchen cabinet, which happened to someone I know!

OP, what do you do with the puppy while you sleep? Are you crate training?

There's a huge difference between being "alone" while your humans sleep upstairs, and completely alone with nobody around.

OP doesn't say the dog sleeps alone at night either - lots of puppies sleep in the same room as their owners to help with toilet training and to help them settle.

Thank god I read this post as I thought I was going mad! It’s not fine to leave a puppy alone in this scenario.