To not take excited 4 year old to his first lesson

[JustSaltPlease]

Arggg help me out. Meant to take son to first swimming lesson today, he's been asking about it for a while.

Problem number 1 is I have a heavy period, although this isn't a massive bother.

Problem 2 is my puppy sitter has let me down and my little pup isn't used to being alone yet, between school pick up and lesson I'd be gone around 1.5 to 2 hours. So please confirm that I have to let my son down!

Dp saying to leave puppy in kitchen but God knows what stress he will be under and subsequently what damage he will do!

I'm a dog lover and a kid lover and I'd never leave a 15 week old puppy who's never been left before alone for 2 hours. It's cruel. You can explain to a child why unfortunately he has to miss something he's been looking forward to, in fact it's a good learning opportunity. You can't explain to a puppy why it's been left completely alone when it's literally never been alone in its life before.

People saying not to prioritise a dog over a child are being obtuse. A child missing his swimming lesson isn't cruelty. A 15 week old puppy being left out of the blue for two hours is.

Not nice that the kid misses out because having a puppy is more important to you

I got the puppy at 12 weeks.

Son is pretty easy going so I will offer him a puppy walk and ice cream instead. I just have massive mum guilt.

My intention was never to leave the puppy, I just wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing by letting my son down!

It was my son who has been nagging fir the puppy, so this is a good lesson on responsibility

You can't let your child down for a puppy. You won't be gone for hours. The puppy will be fine. You've said how excited your son is so he will be very upset I wouldn't be able to let him down

So who is going to take your son to the swimming lesson?

There are some things that I’d never miss like Christmas plays or first days at school, but I don’t think I went to any of DS’s swimming lessons in the first year or two. DH took him and it never occurred to me that it was something I should be going to.

OP your child is 4, this isn't on the child because 'he wanted a puppy', yes it's a life lesson but he's barely out of pre school so don't put the responsibility on him wanting the dog. The dog belongs to adults.

So yeah, don't leave the puppy, explain to child today isn't the day and plan a substitute activity!

He is 4. He cannot assess impact of a puppy on family life

I think you're doing the right thing.

Take the puppy, if you can? Or could DH rearrange things?
Also another one here who says that you are being very good to worry about leaving puppy too much too soon, but at 15 weeks I'd expect you to be leaving them alone at least a couple times a day for small amounts of time - 10 minutes here, 15 there, in fact at this point I'd hope it would be more time. But that's okay! Pup is still young enough to claw it back - you could follow the below schedule:
Monday: 2 x 10 mins
Tuesday: 3 x 10 mins
Wed: 2 x 15 mins
Thu: 3 x 15 mins
Fri: 2 x 20 mins
Sat: 3 x 20 mins
Sun: 2 x 30 mins
So tiny increments, but lots of instances, then ease it up over time. Talk to your trainer about good 'leaving the house' practices to follow. Best of luck!

Do not tell your young child he is missing out on something he was looking forward to because of the puppy. It's far more likely to cause resentment than a sense of responsibility. Tell him the car isn't working / the lesson is cancelled or another reason, but whatever you do don't tell him it's because of the dog.

This I'm afraid. Don't get me wrong. I feel for the puppy but I also feel for your boy

Everyone, I have managed to book a "fun with floats" session at 6pm so all is right in the world again.

Also, the lessons he will be doing require a parent to be with him.

Also I wouldn't actually tell my son we can't go because of the puppy lol

He can start to understand how puppies come with responsibility though. Why is that such a bad lesson?

Or just tell him the truth. Why does everyone on mumsnet always recommend lies.

Please don't let your son down, he will remember it

Even though you just said:

It was my son who has been nagging fir the puppy, so this is a good lesson on responsibility.

Glad you've managed to sort other swimming though and won't be using this as a 'lesson' for asking for a puppy.

Apps like Bubble have pet sitters so that's what I would try to do

You allowed yourself to be nagged into getting a puppy by a four year old, who has no idea of the responsibility involved?

Are the swimming lessons weekly? Surely if the puppy can only be left for 10 minutes this week, it won't be ready to be left for 2 hours next week?

I can't believe you're putting a puppy before your DS

We've always had dogs. My old girl died last December and I've been heartbroken, as has he. I didn't plan on getting a puppy yet but he asked and asked. Given his enthusiasm I thought "why not". So no, he didn't nag me into it.

My puppy sitter is usually very reliable and I have a back up. Just so happens that today was an unforseen emergency and my back up is away.

I think some people are being purposefully obtuse now. All sorted so nothing further to add :)

Can you ask if any neighbours can look after the puppy for a couple of hours? I would jump at the chance of puppy cuddles if anyone ever needed! I don't want the responsibility of my own dog, just love other people's.

This is MN, it's full of them 🤣

An animal or your child. I would have thought the answer would be obvious.