My sister is an alcoholic, she has lost her children because of it. She just sits in her filthy house all day drinking. She never makes any effort to deal with any of her problems, she denies that she drinks but she very much does, I think all day every day levels of alcoholism. I am sure that this is what the majority of her issues are caused by. She says she has bad anxiety and depression so can’t do anything for herself. She won’t even leave her house to go to the shop and will make out mum fetch anything she needs (my mum won’t buy her alcohol though and she clearly manages to get out the house for that).
She constantly phones me and my mum day and night about the most ridiculous things when she is drunk. Arguments she has had with her ex partner or things that have happened years ago, she once called me relentlessly in the middle of the night to tell me all her problems were my fault because I once pushed her off a swing when we were kids (I did do this when I was about 7).
If she doesn’t get enough attention from us because we are both busy (dm is 63 still works full time and my sisters children also live with her full time so she has a huge amount on her plate already, I am a single parent with a full time job) she will start sending us photos of self harm or threatening to kill herself, she has also harmed herself and phoned ambulances a lot in the past which means my mother will have to go and pick her up from hospital at all times of the night.
She once told me she had cancer and was going to die, which I never believed but she would message me about it every day telling me about the drs appointments she had been too. Once it became clear no one believed her she just deleted all the messages she’s sent about it and denied she had ever said it, then accused me of making things up and “gaslighting” her. she has also made up having dementia and pregnancies and miscarriages as well.
Todays she sent me a message first thing the morning implying she had been sexually assaulted. When I ignored it because I was driving she immediately followed it up with self harm photos. When i asked her where she was she said she had gone to stay with friends for a few days and been out drinking with them, despite the fact that she hasn’t bothered to walk down the street to see her own children for months because she of her “anxiety”. At that moment I just realised I don’t care anymore. I don’t like her as a person and I’m sick of being manipulated by her. I told her she was selfish and manipulative and asked her not to contact me again. I also suffer from depression and anxiety which I take medication for and I find the way she behaves very hard to deal with. I think this makes it harder for me to feel sorry for her though because I HAVE to deal with my problems there so no one to step in and help me if I don’t want to get out of bed one day. I can’t understand why she doesn’t want to help herself a little bit, I’m starting to thinks she actually likes living like this.
I know this makes me a bad person because she obviously does have issues but I honestly don’t want to ever see her or talk to her again I know other people will judge me for it, i also know she will have shared the message I sent to her with a lot of people who will think I’m being horrible, she will very likely harm herself in some way because of it I’m scared she will actually do something serious.
How are you supposed to deal with someone like this without making things worse for them!?