Entitled parents need to keep older kids out of the young section of soft play

[fancyeatingout]

I go to soft plays with three sections:
Babies
Under school age
Older kids

My baby is immobile, while the baby section at soft play is tiny it's still bigger than the space at home and so a space place for her to learn to crawl and the different textures, alongside the sights and sounds, is great stimulation for her. I go first thing on a Sunday to try and go at a quiet time.

Everytime I go much older kids come into the baby section, I understand, they're young they don't understand, but I've had several occurrences where the parents seem to encourage the older children. Last week one such parent asked me to remove the soft crocodile propping my baby up, today a dad told his kid, "you can play in here as long as you play calmly" as he encouraged the older child in, only to then stand and watch as he constantly dive bombed in the ball pit, meaning no babies could play in it. I had to be THAT person and ask staff to intervene twice to remove older children today.

I recently saw a TikTok where a SEN parent of a 7 year old filmed and criticized the parents of babies for not being more understanding when her kid entered the baby section and proceeded to throw large toys at the babies. I understand the child's needs, but given the parents would have known their child couldn't adhere to boundaries, could they not have gone to a specific SEN session.

Am I unreasonable to expect parents to leave the baby space for babies? Everything in it is available in the other sections and it is the only space parents of babies can go.

I do agree to an extent, except if they are there playing with a baby. My DS is 6 and took our friend's baby through a little tunnel and explored a section with her, holding her hands when she tried to stand up. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Honestly the strategy is always go in school time with younger kids. If you go on the weekend, in holidays or after-school then its like there will be bigger kids around. If you want it quieter then there's tons of other times to go.

Unless you are working, you do realise a lot of parents work and have kids right?

OP YANBU

I never go to soft play at the weekend or school holidays partly because of this. I stick to term time only.

Yanbu. I always kept an eye on mine when they were toddler/infant school age to make sure they didn’t go where they shouldn’t and behaved properly at soft play.
Sadly many parents don’t have the same level of respect for others and some are just downright entitled. They seem to forget that they wouldn’t have liked older children putting their child in danger or even just encroaching on their space, not so long ago.

I think sometimes that parents don't think or see other children besides their own. I would treat on a case-by-case basis as some children are fine in the baby sections and are very considerate of the little ones. My children are older now but I used to notice that some parents would let their children go into the soft play and leave them to it without keeping much of an eye on them at all.

Unfortunately (presumedly like most of the others there today), I work full time. So this isn't an option. What's the purpose of having segregated age sections at all if it's never enforced and parents don't respect it, simply because they assume the parents of babies don't have to work.

This is good advice, if you can do it. Soft play is always like Lord of the Flies on a weekend, and babies are much better off going during school hours.

Totally agree OP I'm totally sick of it. There's a clear sign saying it's for under twos only and every time bigger kids run and and I end up having to step in and be the bad guy because I don't want my baby getting hurt.

Ah I see you work full time - I would just avoid it until she is a bit bigger.

Ooof I agree with this. I never took DS to soft play when he was tiny (thanks Covid!) but since we started going when he was 2, and even then I didn't let him go in the baby section. I always cringe when I see older kids creating havoc in there! Surely if you know your kid is energetic and bouncy you don't let them play near teeny tiny babies!

Look for a play cafe aimed at under 5s.

It's rubbish if you have to work full-time but unfortunately it's simply not a great place to visit with very young children at weekends or holidays. I've genuinely never found a soft play that enforces the rules unfortunately, I suspect because they make most of their money from the older kids.

It's crap but in truth if you can only go at weekends i would find somewhere else to take a baby.

That’s not the example the op is giving…

It used to piss off when DD was younger but I was quite happy to be the complaining parent when it happened. Older kids I told off directly but with younger kids I would ask the staff to remove them. I spoke to staff as often was needed and they very quickly got tired enough of my complaining to actually enforce the rules. You can’t rely on parents policing their own children as there are many shit parenta out there but soft plays should not be taking money for under 2’s if they are unwilling to ensure they have a safe space to play.

Most mums are on maternity leave whilst their DCs are in the baby stage, so it is a fair assumption and suggestion that going during school hours would be possible.

@SkankingWombat

"Most mums are on maternity leave whilst their DCs are in the baby stage, so it is a fair assumption and suggestion that going during school hours would be possible."

Most sections are under 18 months or under 2 years, so I highly doubt the majority of parents of children under this age are off for that long.

I remember when DC1 was a baby and looking at these ‘giant’ 3 year olds who seemed so old, terrifying and wild and thinking similarly though I didn’t say anything. Once mine were a similar age and especially my baby I realised just how little they still are and that the often still love the baby section (and may be too little the bigger section if the mum is stuck with a smaller baby). So I see it both ways. Agree with others I used to go mid week or accept that slightly older kids will be there.

This is good to know

I guess all the people saying not to take the baby there until they're older are the culprits. Why on earth should my baby sit at home without this kind of stimulation, in an age appropriate section, just because parents of older kids are entitled?

I recently saw a TikTok where a SEN parent of a 7 year old filmed and criticized the parents of babies for not being more understanding when her kid entered the baby section and proceeded to throw large toys at the babies. I understand the child's needs, but given the parents would have known their child couldn't adhere to boundaries, could they not have gone to a specific SEN session.
I imagine 7pm every third Wednesday wasn't very convenient!

Write to the management - a letter that they will have to reply to. Much better than asking a particular member of staff if you want to address this issue more long term.
Get the management to commit to enforcing the baby only areas, and making sure all their staff are aware and follow it through.

@LongLiveTheLego that makes it ok that someone in the comments of that video had the same thing happen and her baby ended up with a traumatic nose bleed?

Why assume everyone saying don't take an immobile baby during the time big kids are off school is a culprit. That makes you look a touch ridiculous to be honest.

Noone is saying your child has to stay at home but equally there's so many other places you could take them to get stimulation that it seems daft to choose a busy soft play on a weekend.

Wait til your baby is older and the entitled baby parents let their babies and non-walking toddlers into the older sections and climb up slides etc while older kids are sliding down then blame your kids for hitting them. Where I am that’s more common..

Do you include older siblings who are playing with a baby?

There was an age gap between ours of 9 years. My husband worked away from home. Softplay was a rare opportunity to sit in a corner with a nice cup of real coffee by myself and think about nothing because our daughter loved to go in with With her baby brother.

Otherwise, I agree.