Entitled parents need to keep older kids out of the young section of soft play

[fancyeatingout]

I go to soft plays with three sections:
Babies
Under school age
Older kids

My baby is immobile, while the baby section at soft play is tiny it's still bigger than the space at home and so a space place for her to learn to crawl and the different textures, alongside the sights and sounds, is great stimulation for her. I go first thing on a Sunday to try and go at a quiet time.

Everytime I go much older kids come into the baby section, I understand, they're young they don't understand, but I've had several occurrences where the parents seem to encourage the older children. Last week one such parent asked me to remove the soft crocodile propping my baby up, today a dad told his kid, "you can play in here as long as you play calmly" as he encouraged the older child in, only to then stand and watch as he constantly dive bombed in the ball pit, meaning no babies could play in it. I had to be THAT person and ask staff to intervene twice to remove older children today.

I recently saw a TikTok where a SEN parent of a 7 year old filmed and criticized the parents of babies for not being more understanding when her kid entered the baby section and proceeded to throw large toys at the babies. I understand the child's needs, but given the parents would have known their child couldn't adhere to boundaries, could they not have gone to a specific SEN session.

Am I unreasonable to expect parents to leave the baby space for babies? Everything in it is available in the other sections and it is the only space parents of babies can go.

I don’t really need “imagination” as I have had many babies. If your child can’t learn to crawl at home perhaps it’s time to make your home more child friendly because an hour on Sunday morning is NOT enough. As I said unless you need to be there for other reasons (like older sibs, or socialising) then it’s not the ideal environment for a baby.

So while my thread wasn't "AIBU to think the parents of older kids who are allowed and even actively encouraged into the baby area of soft play, are entitled." I think the responses prove they are. For anyone who hasn't read the thread, even though I took my baby to a soft play and expected her to be safe from older children dive bombing on her unexpectedly while supervised. Apperently this is unreasonable because:

• I should only go during term time weekdays, even though I work full time.
• The soft play is unhygienic and instead I should put the baby down on the ground of a park even when it's September and raining.
• The baby area only exists so parents can bring a baby alongside an older sibling and nobody with just a baby should go there.
• I should find a cafe soft play (none exist locally) or garden centre with a small soft play, even though the last garden centre soft play I went to was the most chaotic I've ever been to.
• Not wanting an older child to throw something at my baby makes me "unpleasant".
• I should expect it therefore it's ok for it not to be enforced, even though I paid to go somewhere with an advertised area just for my babies age.

My biggest gripe isn't the children, or even the parents not watching what their children are doing, because actually I've seen examples of those parents redirecting their children when they do. My biggest issue is the parents that actively encourage their children into that area, despite as others have mentioned it's small, it's got very little in there and certainly the stuff that is in there is available elsewhere. And that bigger children can very easily injure a baby. This thread has shown me a lot about this type of parent, many of whom seem to be here blaming me, as a parent of a immobile baby, for wanting a safe place for my baby away from their boisterous bigger child.

My son who is severely disabled used to sometimes go in the baby section up to about age 6 but we went at quiet times and he was removed if a baby arrived to use it. Owners were fine with this.

I don’t think anyone is “blaming” you for wanting things to suit your child. Let’s face it all of us would find it much easier if the world revolved around our particular needs. I think most people are trying to help you deal with the reality. Things will get easier once your little one is up and about.

YANBU.

the soft play near me is great. They ask the child’s age when you check in, and if under 2
you get a special wristband.

They have a member of staff outside the door to the baby only section, and you’re only allowed in if you have the wristband. I saw young kids get turned away whilst I was there and my group of friends and our babies had a really nice time. The babies enjoyed the sensory toys and the mums could have a nice chat.

Expecting to have a small area which is advertised and labeled as being solely for babies, to be solely for babies is not expecting the world to revolve around me!

Asking for the entire soft play, including the parts clearly marked for older children to be suitable, would be. But this isn't!

When you have your second child you are going to realise what a PITA your now toddler is around the second baby and then you’re going to watch your toddler maraud around he baby area in the soft play with a new understanding. Least that’s what happened to me 🤣

This sounds great, we did travel to a soft play with this kind of enforcement, but it is too far for anything regular. I did see one mum argue with the attendant "and how exactly do you know how old he is", this child was clearly about 10 years old, so it's not an easy job for the attendants and they don't have an easy time of it. But worthwhile to keep the babies safe inside. They also had similar sensory rooms for older children that were closed off, so perfect for SEN children that could have their own space away from babies too.

One is an accessory, two is a lifestyle.

I think a lot of people are agreeing with you but just agreeing isn't going to particularly change the reality of it.

These venues aren't going to suddenly change and enforce rules and you'll always get parents letting their kids run riot.

If you cannot attend outside of peak hours it may be that you could find an alternative. If you Google there will be something to suit your needs.

Completely agree with you.
Although we had some challenges with our oldest, at 4 she was height of 6, at 8 she is height of 11 so people thought she was much older than she was, and I got some parents saying loudly to each other, on a termtime midweek session 'why on earth is that child not in school' when at 4, she was in the 4's and under soft play section.
However, I am very vigilant with her now, especially as she is very tall. Her 4 year old sister goes into it, and she wants to join her. There are often older children playing roughly in there, so I do a loud 'sorry darling, this section is for under 5's and you are older than that, you dont need to play in the BABY area'. To which the older children give me some pretty dirty looks, but it usually gets at least a couple of them out.
And I do get that occasionally there may be an older sibling supporting a younger one with SEN in there, but every time I have seen this, they are playing carefully and respectfully

The only time I've ever had an altercation with another mum was when she ignored her kid dive bombing on mine in the baby section. She then tried to fight me for daring to tell her darling kid off but since she wasn't parenting, I kind of had to. It's not put me off going because why should we when there are designated section for our little ones. It's just made me more assertive telling the staff they need to manage it better. Ignore those saying just don't go till your child is bigger, why should your kid miss out because the staff and parents don't care enough, just be heard and tell the staff as many times as you have to.

I don’t disagree with you in principle.

I can however promise you that when your child is 3 and wants to have a little play in the baby bit because it’s something different, you won’t want to stop him, and you’ll be like “oh what’s the harm as long as he’s careful…”

or if/when you have your second baby and you need to be in the baby bit with them but your older child is too young to be left in the older kids’ bit unsupervised. “Ah what’s the harm in him being in here, as long as he’s careful…”

Or maybe you’ll be different than almost everyone else I know who went through parenting toddlers with me…who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree about the baby section, but even worse are the little ones in the big kid section, and worse again are the adults.

Basically, soft play is hell, avoid until you have to go for birthday parties and just go to the park til then. We never went until parties started and survived just fine.

I asked a parent to take their kids out the baby section at a soft play once, they were like 11, 7 and 5 (🙄) and she started speaking to me in a different language and acting like she couldn’t understand me. Bizarre when I could hear her speaking English to her friend moments earlier

You don't need soft play though.

Some of the longest hours of my life were shadowing DC2 at soft play while DC1 was at a party.

You have years of this shit ahead of you, you really really don't need to be braving soft play yet. Babies love the baby swing in the park and being put on the slide by a parent. You get a walk and a coffee too. They can learn to crawl at home.

Sorry can't clear the random emoji, wtf.

Any blatant disregard of rules is supremely arrogant and fucking annoying.

When we had a baby and a toddler we sought out a dog free beach as we were fed up of the babies being knocked over / our picnics eaten. Never forget the image of an early 60s couplr with two enormous red setters strolling through the dog free beach 🙄🙄🙄. The rules apply to everyone you utter dicks.

how hard is it for some posters to understand that some people don't have the necessary floor space for an active crawling baby in their own homes?

it is the only space parents of babies can go.

It’s not. If/when you have another baby, that one will be all over the place wanting to play with their sibling, and the older sibling (current baby) will probably want to go in the baby bit! YANBU about the divebomber, people need to be considerate, but just the other day I was distracting my 2 year old from the baby section (obviously, that’s the default) and the mum of the only baby in the baby section said ‘oh don’t worry, it’s fine, she can come in’. So it’s most definitely not black and white.

If you take a little kid into the big kid section you take your chances. I don't mind, but I won't be telling my kids to not play in an area because there is a baby. Adults I have no issues with - noone in their right mind wants to be chasing around a soft play so they have my every sympathy.

That must be quite unusual though to be fair. Unless you live in a campervan or something. Babies don’t need much floor space, they just turn around and go back the way they came.

They shouldn't be in there.

Your kid is an accessory?? I’ve read all your posts and can’t see where this would be a jokey callback to something… what an odd thing to say.

Look, you sound really stressed about soft plays and soft plays are baseline hellish anyway. Do something else. Library. Swimming (maybe your local pool has a beach bit so you can just paddle the whole time, ours does). Friends’ houses. Age-specific baby groups. Other indoor play facilities that aren’t soft play (eg role play places). My kids all definitely crawled around playgrounds, just dress them properly.

@ButterAsADip you sound fun at parties, it was a quip to someone saying how when I have another I'll think differently. Many people are one and done for a multitude of reasons. It's a quote from a video from harkvswolf obviously nobody sees their baby as an accessory, and if they did they likely wouldn't be at soft play because they wouldn't prioritize child activities. None of those are options so you've been of no help. I hope trying to make a joke into something serious made your Sunday more interesting.

Not sure if you mean the babies or older kids, but babies should very much be in the area specially made for them.