Entitled parents need to keep older kids out of the young section of soft play

[fancyeatingout]

I go to soft plays with three sections:
Babies
Under school age
Older kids

My baby is immobile, while the baby section at soft play is tiny it's still bigger than the space at home and so a space place for her to learn to crawl and the different textures, alongside the sights and sounds, is great stimulation for her. I go first thing on a Sunday to try and go at a quiet time.

Everytime I go much older kids come into the baby section, I understand, they're young they don't understand, but I've had several occurrences where the parents seem to encourage the older children. Last week one such parent asked me to remove the soft crocodile propping my baby up, today a dad told his kid, "you can play in here as long as you play calmly" as he encouraged the older child in, only to then stand and watch as he constantly dive bombed in the ball pit, meaning no babies could play in it. I had to be THAT person and ask staff to intervene twice to remove older children today.

I recently saw a TikTok where a SEN parent of a 7 year old filmed and criticized the parents of babies for not being more understanding when her kid entered the baby section and proceeded to throw large toys at the babies. I understand the child's needs, but given the parents would have known their child couldn't adhere to boundaries, could they not have gone to a specific SEN session.

Am I unreasonable to expect parents to leave the baby space for babies? Everything in it is available in the other sections and it is the only space parents of babies can go.

yes they turn around but they get cross and frustrated and want to follow a ball or explore... it's really not that hard to imagine how a newly crawling baby who is excited to move about might struggle in a small flat. obviously too hard for many of you to imagine tho

Yeah it didn't come across as a joke. It was bitchy. You aren't being unreasonable but lighten up a bit.

@IVFmumoftwo shockingly I don't think eating butter as a dip is a joke either. But I'm not bitchy enough to make a thing out of it. Also many people find the quote funny, google is your friend. Why don't you and dippy butter go and bore the people in "one and done" with how unfunny they are?

Yes this exactly! I remember with my PFB thinking how awful those 'horrible' older kids were as they look so big and they are really inconsiderate. But when your baby gets a little older you totally understand it. Any kid in a soft play is usually that - still a kid and enjoying themselves. Parents are not watching every minute, that's one of the benefits of going to soft play that you can let them go wild a little! I know it feels awful when you have the smaller child but it won't be long until your child is one of the 'bigger' ones and you see things differently. And then if you have number 2 or even 3 you just totally ignore them and let them fight their own battles 😀

OP you keep making out like soft plays specifically for younger children don't exist, but it's not the case. Maybe look further afield? I'm in Yorkshire and there are plenty of cafes with mini soft play baby areas and various 'under 5' soft play places that don't have an area for older kids.

Er, whatever.

Also in Yorkshire. Interested although my two year old climbs like a mountaineer. 🌑

@IVFmumoftwo Jelly beans under 5s in Huddersfield was great when mine were small enough! Also little burrowers in Leeds is lovely. There are plenty of others though

I used to go to one in Elland, but my youngest is now 11, so might not be there now

I will check that out when we visit Leeds. I am in Hull with lots of soft play. They do adult only soft play too! 😂

YANBU OP, but I do wish people would stop overusing the word "entitled". Not every shit parent is "entitled". For every besotted twat who thinks that dear Crispin and Isolde are so wonderful that they should be able to go wherever they please, there are ten others just ignoring Max, Sam and Evie in the hope of an hour's peace and quiet while they nurse a coffee. There are probably also a few parents who are neither shit nor entitled but just haven't clocked that their little monsters darlings are playing "splat the baby" in the u-3's section yet and will reluctantly drag them out when they eventually notice.

Like how you randomly put in a section about an absurd example of a SEN child throwing toys and the mum thinking that is acceptable. So incredibly offensive

😂 ok, now you’ve made me laugh 😂 enjoy your misery!

Baby sections can be quite woeful, but they are getting better - during the week they cream in the money from the parents buying food and coffee, so they are not bad customers, but weekends are going to be full of older kids, especially heading into the colder wetter months, and it’s not great for babies. Older kids who eat the food, demand snacks and the coins for the machines they all have. It’s money for old rope. Most have parties as well (but not always exclusive, so all the kids plus some more + cake).

I’ve never been to one that’s got the perfect set up. A lot of bigger (but still little) kids love the baby areas as they are more sensory. Or they’ll often have things in the bigger bits don’t. I’m in no way saying that excuses older ones in the baby areas, but kids will try it on. I also often see smaller ones in the bigger areas where I think the parents are putting them at risk. It’s just how it is.

One of the better ones locally has three sections. The baby and then two-four have top lock soft high gates, and the baby section is monitored by a (bored looking) member of staff to stop older kids going in. Which I think is great (if that section didn’t have a brand new brilliant sensory zone that my DC loves!)

Another past favourite revamped its baby area, and all the (again, bigger but still pre-school kids) love it. I was always watching, but actually found it quite stressful if you went on a weekend and the kids are playing nicely and a tiny baby goes in there with the parents sprawled all over it, protecting the baby - I fully appreciate it’s great for their stimulation, and I’m in like a shot if mine have ventured in to retrieve, but they still enjoy the things in there. There is actually a bell you can ring to call staff over if you wish.

That said, older children should know better, and their parents should be paying attention. But don’t bother dying on this hill OP, as you will also become the parent of a primary aged child before you know it, and more than likely be using the soft play as a respite with shit coffee and nuggets whilst your kids are up to whatever in every area!

Yanbu. Some people are very much, “Why should older children be stopped from having fun? It’s not fair on them.” I’ve seen that sort of attitude on here in the past. Probably people who have moved on from the baby stage completely and their world revolves around older kids now.

When mine were younger I went to an under 5 soft play. Do you have any nearby? I appreciate it's frustrating but you will find this occurs a lot. I find it difficult now my are older to find suitable soft plays for them. So it's difficult at both ends of the age categories. I hope you find a solution that works.

As a mother to a now older SEN child I would think (hope) that these children are never left on their own. I was always with mine because you never knew what he could do since a bit in his own world but very sociable at the same time. With my second I experienced sitting down in a softplay area or playground for the first time. So easy to have a NT child, I could even talk to other mums. It amazed me.

Couldn’t agree more I’ve stopped taking my DTs to soft play for this reason, the entitlement is real and I can see quite a few of them commenting on your thread.

I agree with you! My 10 month old was actually hurt in soft play with a boy who was around 8 years old. He jumped and landed on my babies head. When I spoke to his mum she said "he was in with his younger siblings" that doesn't make it ok if it's a baby area @MrsSkylerWhite