To be too scared to talk to my family about my new heart problems?

[SaltyDragon]

I was taken to hospital, last night, under blue lights and sirens, with a racing, out of sync heart. The paramedics phoned ahead and I was literally wheeled out of the ambulance, through the fastest triage ever and into Resus where I was inundated with medical people, all within the space of 10 minutes or so. The staff were amazing.

I was diagnosed with AF, Afib so my heart was out of rhythm and beating way too fast. They managed to get me back to sinus rhythm and my heartrate down and gave me antibiotics for two skin infections they found. But I am now left with possible heart disease, a raft of new medications to take (honestly I rattle) and a load of tests to find out why my heart is no longer working properly.

And, apart from my two adult children, I dare not talk to any of my family because I know they will accuse me of trying to be centre of attention and a hypochondriac. (I have a lot of medical issues, mostly due to being obese) Which leaves me no-one to talk to, so I'm hoping you lovely people will have non-judgemental advice and encouragement to give me.

I just feel so low about not being able to talk to my sisters and brothers (parents both gone) openly about this.

well why don’t you wait until you actually have a diagnosis
tests may reveal nothing untoward in any event

you’re out of hospital now?

Are you looking for information on Atrial fibrillation or support to come to terms with the new diagnosis?

Either way the British Heart foundation can be really good.

https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport

If I'm being honest the way you wrote your post felt like you were enjoying the drama.

completely agree

to what amounts to…. i will have some tests done

I had a similar experience to you but without the lights and sirens! Went in to A/E by car.

I was diagnosed with Afib also. Heart rate was 140 -180 fluctuating, bouncing around and I felt awful.

I want to reassure you that Afib does NOT in general signify heart disease, it is an electrical fault as the cardiologist put it. I had all the tests for HD, calcium scan, echo, ECG, you name it and my ticker is fine, it's just the rhythm and rate that went out of whack.

Treatment is usually blood thinners and beta blockers. Stroke is a possibility if it is not medicated for and they are very quick to get that started. If the Afib continues to happen you could be offered an ablation. I couldn't have one due to bleeding risk, nor could I take blood thinners. But they scheduled me for a Watchman device (google) which means I don't have to take blood thinners anymore, just a low dose beta blocker (Bisoprolol).

I feel great now, get occasional bumps in the road but I have an emergency pill (Flecanaide) to take if the heart rate doesn't come down after an hour or so. Haven't had to take it yet! Knock on wood.....

I hope you do not have HD, and want to reassure you that Afib is not life threatening of itself, the bigger problem is the possibility of it causing stroke, but you will be medicated for that.

Best of luck.

How did they 'find' skin infections that you didn't know you had?

If you're very overweight, don't know about your own health (skin infections) , have other health issues and now have a heart problem......its probably fair for your family to expect you to look after yourself and your health, lose weight (injections?) and generally step up and help yourself

It's not that I didn't know they were there, it's because I didn't realise they were actual infections. I thought they were just the usual inflamed eczema that I get from time to time, so I just kept them clean and left them to heal themselves.

I'm currently on an NHS weightloss programme and I am in the process of working towards bariatric surgery.

You are right, everyone has been right, and I needed to hear it. I am responsible for my own wellbeing and need to do more. Still wish I could talk to my siblings though. Since mum died earlier this year, I've hardly had any contact with them that I haven't started.

(Sorry, feeling very sorry for myself now. Time to get out the crochet and think about something positive)

OP, my son watched me arrest and was shifted out of the room for 20 minutes while I was resuscitated. Not a fun day. That was 4 years ago. 5 next spring.
My heart is damaged and it’s ALWAYS bumpy despite beta blockers, but I still ride my bike everywhere, walk the dog every day, live, breathe… and my son recovered from the shock and grew beyond the fear of losing a parent.
If you’ve got a pulse, keep on living!

Blue lights and arrhythmia are not fun and games. Not at all. And heart conditions exacerbate anxiety so you get this nice double whammy of feeling pretty low and afraid because of the anxiety and the heart problem. They’re bedfellows.
But you’ll be well managed. Get a diagnosis and know that mostly, despite our body kicking us in the backside, heart conditions and diseases can be well controlled and full lives can be lived.

When you know what’s caused it, you’ll feel better about talking with your family. I really and truly know how scary heart stuff can be. My artery tore and caused the heart attack that caused the cardiac arrest. Really scary because it was so random and I never know if it’ll happen again. But I just seize the day. That’s our only option. It’s a good one.

Assume you’ll be ok. Because you will be. Look after yourself. AF is tiring and that skin infection won’t be helping. I had a staph infection on my face this summer and my heart went a little crazier than usual.

AF is scary but incredibly common and if you can manage its root cause, you’ll feel a lot more confident about life as a cardiac patient. And tell your family when you’re ready. Get a bit of rest and recovery. You don’t need to go guns a blazing into sharing this. But they’d want to know you’re ok! Tell them when you’re feeling a bit more relaxed.

And despite our NHS looking like it’s planning its own funeral, you couldn’t be in a better country for cardiology related health issues. I mean that with total sincerity.

are you home or in the hospital?

And I’m so sorry about your mum. That’s such a sad loss and it’s hard navigating life without the people we love by our side. Maybe (and this sounds nauseating but I do mean it) this is your moment to treat your body with the loving care it deserves (if you’ve been neglecting yourself). Take it easy. Slow and steady. Just look after yourself. 💐

A friend of mine has something VERY similar to this. The school run takes her heart rate up to 180 bmp and leaves her feeling absolutely shattered! Exercise is out of the question.

She's currently under treatment for it but found losing weight a HUGE help and brought her resting heart rate right down.

It's excellent you're under the NHS for weightloss, but this might be the opportunity to really cut out anything excessive in your diet at the moment and give yourself a huge helping hand.

Well, AF is very common and not particularly serious, so it doesn't matter whether you mention it or not. I was once with my best friend when she was taken to A&E for the same reason - and rushed through to resus - but we went on holiday to Paris the next day as the hospital told us this would be fine.
Both my friend and my husband had treatment for AF some years later, but it was a planned minor procedure. So you don't need to make a big deal of it, OP - you will probably be monitored, and your options discussed at some point, but there's no reason to tell lots of people.

Ive had this condition since i was 15. I dont tell anyone i dont need to. I just get on with it.

I'd just focus on losing weight. Getting fit, strong and healthy.

And I wouldn't talk to anyone about my health issues except on MN. I imagine it's so boring.

Gosh Mumsnet people can be vile. OP - as someone with a very serious heart condition you have my deep sympathy. Those moments are terrifying. It is not for posters to be suggesting you’re being a drama queen or to criticise you because of your weight. This really can be the most repulsive place. I defy anyone to have that experience and not be overwhelmed.

I hope your tests are clear and wish you well.

You’ve every right to feel sorry for yourself. That was a scary event.
You’re just as important as anyone else on here.
Make it a priority to get yourself healthy for you.

Good luck.

I really think you should do some research because AF is a serious heart condition and I think you're completely wrong to be so flippant about a condition which changes peoples lives.

My mum has AF. The last time she was in hospital her heart completely paused for a significant amount of time 6 times. She's on lifelong medication and is on the treatment ladder towards a a pacemaker.

I honestly am so shocked by some of the response on here. Where is the care and compassion?! Why are some of you SO irritated by this posts that you feel the need to write such snappy responses.

I hope you're ok OP. With the right treatment and support you will get on top of things.
You absolutely need to tell your immediate family. I've seen my mum have significant AF episodes in the past, and knowing about the condition means you can help support and prepare for it.

Yes some people have it more minor than others, but don't let people think you're being OTT. It says more about them than it does you!!!

This is one of the most disgraceful comments I’ve ever read.

Some of the replies here are so nasty. AF is no joke and can feel very unpleasant. However you are fortunate to have had a diagnosis because now you can get the medication you need. AF is dangerous because it’s a high risk factor for strokes, as I know only too well (family member). Get your medication and remember to take it. That will make all the difference to the possible outcomes.
It’s not easy to lose weight and I can understand your reluctance to overshare with close family. Do you have a friend you could offload to? Or maybe consider telephone counselling to help you through this initial phase?

Cynic17

AF can indicate serious issues. It always should be explored. It can be easily managed but a person with AF should get a diagnosis and/or explanation because so many different issues cause AF. You don’t just walk around with an abnormal rhythm and hope for the best. That’s foolish. And I don’t think the OP will do that. She’s been given a legitimate fright.
Once patients have medical management and guidance in place from consultants, they can then relax and enjoy life with a better understanding of things.

Right? Just so nasty. I don’t even want to give it space. It’s dreadful.

Fucking hell. What an awful post.

OP please ignore people like this.

It is very scary having issues with your heart. I’ve had chest pains lately and my DP was less than sympathetic with a big monologue about eating less and moving more. It’s shitty when people blame you for your illness, especially when obesity can be an illness in itself. Of course it’s frustrating when you see someone you care about doing something that isn’t good for them, but to be so unsympathetic to someone experiencing AFib is the sign of a shitty human being.

At home now, thank you.

It's hard when you're overweight. Everyone blames you and expects you to somehow magically lose weight! You have my sympathies OP x