Decided people are becoming even more mean

[Lalahaha]

I don't use public transport that much but there's not a time I don't witness rude obnoxious behaviour.
Yesterday I was out for 2 hours and it was the worst yet.
In those couple of hours I witnessed...
On the bus to the shop there was a lady with a reborn doll in a full size car seat pushchair sat in the extra room spot. Refusing to move for anyone.
Get to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription there's a large queue. A woman walks straight to the side of the queue to attract the attention of the assistant. She lies that she had been in the queue and is served straight away. Which takes ages as she had lots to collect.
On the bus home we hadn't even taken off yet and a little boy around 4/5 sat on the disabled seat starts screaming . An elderly couple nearby starts huffing that he shouldn't be sat there anyway etc. The poor flustered mom tells them he's disabled and can't walk.
It was just horrible the whole trip.
I'm not going to say I stood up for anyone because I didn't. The confrontation I wouldn't be able to handle.
Am I right? Are the general public getting worse? I know we see bad behaviour all over social media but in real life it hits different.

Yes, I think there has been a big change in behaviour in the last few years and certainly since I was a kid.

I was in a hospital waiting room this week with a woman in her 30s loudly playing clips on her mobile phone. She did not care that we could all hear her phone or that some of the content she was playing could be disturbing to those of us forced to listen. It was loud enough to drown out the waiting room tv that was playing bbc1 quietly. It seemed especially selfish to do it in a place where none of us could just get up and leave as we had to be there. She was apparently there to accompany her bf (so wasn’t actually the patient herself) but she didn’t once speak to him. People no longer seem concerned that they are terrible company for their loved ones or that they are pissing off strangers.

Oh god the loud phone clips! I find that the weirdest behaviour. It drives me nuts!

I think there’s just too many of us living on top of each other. I find myself just becoming increasingly unable to cope with the constant sensory and physical onslaught that comes with the general public. We’ve become very loud and extremely attention seeking, rude, brittle, jaded, and that’s because social media does several things off the top of my head: Kill critical thought and dialogue, feed isolationism (not introverted behaviour but isolationism- just saying, as a diehard introvert who really likes and needs social interaction despite my nature), fuels self centred, egotistical vanity (I’m the Big Me, I am! Self Care for me, zero fucks given for you) while killing off self awareness, self respect, and respect for others. We’re very disordered and dysfunctional.
Covid, lockdowns, and excessive access to social media haven’t helped. A privileged few influence the many via social media and the result has been this malignant cult of celebrity that’s spilled over into everyday life. That’s a whole other thread. I digress.

There’s very little in the way of simple pleasures for people. Having a coffee with a friend has become an event, an Insta post, a financial luxury for many. And why bother going out to meet people when everyone has become so exhausting with their expectations on high? I avoid certain friends because I don’t want to be on their fucking feed! I just want to talk. Not be part of some stupid story! No photos!

We’re too many, too close, with too much worry and responsibilities and yet not enough to do. We constantly invade each other’s lives and allow our lives to be invaded, everything is up for grabs on social media and yet, we’re so lonely.
We’re not at peace.

I think most people are really bored and really short of money and really disappointed that their phone life hasn’t upgraded their real life.

And that’s my Saturday rant. 😆☕️

There are a few people in my gym who play their phones on speaker. I find it infuriating and I'm tempted to go and get mine and play it on speaker whilst sitting next to them so they can't hear their phone and see what they do. But I can't because I leave my phone at home.
Has anyone tried this? What happened?

Agree 100%. Appalling driving manners and skills. Rude and insufferable people out and about and a massive drop in standards of behaviour and accountability. I have developed something akin to fear of people.

We live really rural and need to move to a town as we are getting older and DH is really unwell. Neither of us can bear the thought of having immediate neighbours though. Looking at houses for sale in our chosen town makes us feel panic stricken when all we can hear is buzzards and the cockerel at the farm quarter of a mile away.

I think probably there is a bit of confirmation bias. You see what you are looking for.

I also suspect:

• the lady with the doll, probably some kind of special needs at play?
• the lady on the queue, quite probably had previously queued and been told to pop back?
• the couple “huffing” at the child - really how bad we’re they? Is it possible you are projecting a bit?

Yes, there are inconsiderate people out there, and quite possibly those three were genuinely just as bad as you say. But I also guarantee that there were at least as many acts of kindness and generosity, but you didn’t spot them because you weren’t in the mood to see them.

@SerenityNowInsanityLater Great post, absolutely nails it.

I think it's been declining for years but Covid has exacerbated it more so. In years gone by you would often bitch about people you didn't like or about something that had happened whilst you were out and about behind closed doors. You'd do this with your social circle and immediate family. There is less of a village nowadays and people really do seem less bothered about letting others know about them being disgruntled. I think you'd often say someone was a grumpy old man and that it would be that youngsters were bright, youthful and full of life and joy. I think actually it's now across all generations the grumpiness. There really is no British stuff upper lip nowadays.

Generally agree. Would have felt sorry for the lady with the doll, though. Clearly unwell.

I agree there's just too many of us and we are increasingly experiencing queues, traffic jams and delays. I think people become short tempered and mixed with the entitlement of some people, we seem to have lost manners and politeness. I see it in my work, in a queue? Suddenly you're a 'special' case that needs to be at the front. Can't bring your dog into my food outlet? Suddenly he's your 'emotional support dog'.

I think you are completely right @Se@SerenityNowInsanityLater I think that in some ways life is easier but in many ways it is harder. Life was more simple in previous years: go to school, get a job, buy a house, get married and have children. Everything is so much more difficult to do. Even low paid jobs need certain qualifications which can be difficult and expensive to get. The variation in education is huge and there seem to be a lot of children with behavioural issues these days. Finding a partner can be tricky as there are fewer social opportunities. There are lots of pressures for people and also expectations and so it is more difficult to maintain these relationships. I qualified for a profession years ago and I look at the newly qualified salaries and they are pretty similar to years ago. House prices are ridiculous and both parents working full-time puts a huge pressure on people. Being a single parent is also a huge stress. We went to Cornwall on holiday this summer and it was unbearable. It was too busy and too fraught. One of my best friends lives there and she says that she doesn't leave the house until the evening in the holidays. I think there are too many people for our tiny island which is making quality of life worse. I think with global warming we need to have the potential to be self-sufficient (for example if other countries stop exports of food items ). Looking in the future looks scary with all the problems in the world and that makes people irritable.

In London the arsehole count has shot up.

If you’re not fleeing a deliveroo or cyclist on
the pavement you’re being sworn at by a man or elbowed by anyone aged 3 up. Phone screamers on every corner.

Bus drivers are becoming tetchy.

The phone thing drives me mad BUT hardly a day goes by where I don’t see someone offering their tube seat to someone who needs it

Try going through security at an airport. Folk diving in front and putting trays on so you can’t get your tray onto the conveyor. Then shoving you out the way to pick up their stuff. Oh and getting on the plane is all sorts of fun…people walking up when their group hasn’t been called yet and trying to board..,wait your turn! I know you have overhead bags but wait! The best one was a guy standing one the aisle at the front row reading a text on his wife’s phone that she was holding. Are you sitting next to her, well get in your seat then read it? If not it can wait, I just said ‘aye great place to stand pal! 200 people are trying to get past. Move!!!’

Also why do people just stand in the worst place imaginable so people are inconvenienced by then either yammering shite with their pals or just in a world of their own. I used to say excuse me but now I say ‘you are in the way of everyone!’ They react like I’m the person in the wrong despite the fact they are standing at the broom of an escalator or similar! People are more stupid than before Covid and I have had to become flightless ruder to get them to think.

I agree. I think ita really complex, but don't think it's necessarily liked to people increasingly living on top of each other. I know lots of older people that were brought up sleeping three to a bed because of multi generational living. People used to have larger families. Just look at post war conditions in the UK. Tower blocks are not new. Its now a lot more unusual (in general) for siblings to share bedrooms and less families are living in city centres (look at school closures in London). And I think this is actually contributing, when you're living closely with others you are forced to learn to bite your tongue, negotiate fairly, pick your battles...now you are more likely to be able to put headphones on somewhere to at least be 'virtually' alone, exist in a virtual echo chamber, abuse people online you don't like the look of etc. I wonder what would happen if social media was banned

There is still a lot of kindness and good out there. For the most part, I still have faith in my fellow humans.
The rest of it is sad and I do agree that there is more entitlement and less inclination to confront people behaving objectionably. I do understand this too, as you never know what you're gonna get!

I wonder what would happen if social media was banned

That horse has bolted. I wouldn’t want that. I like social media. I need my cat memes! But it’s not something that needs to define our individuality or dominate our daily lives, yet it tends to.
It doesn’t require banning just self discipline ( which is really, really, really hard to achieve but definitely doable). Good social media health is the way forward. I think people are aware of this. I like a cat meme. I don’t want Taylor Swift influencing my political beliefs. She is not a political analyst. 😆

I actually think that we’re currently living out the results of the Covid years and that things will improve (that’s probably my Californian optimism. Feel free to slap me and dump cold water on my head 😆). But yeah, we’re sort of dealing with the aftermath of intense social media usage and bad habits we picked up from 2020 onwards (along with the sticky tumbleweeds that inevitably show up during any sort of societal advancement, to put it kinda nicely, which tech absolutely is, despite its downside).

I guess I should clarify that living on top of each other now is so different than the postwar/post modern period. Families tend not to live close by. The demographics are different. The economy is totally different. Multi generational living that was so common in both my parents’ families has reduced in a lot of cultures. People move around a lot. The multi generational families I know are Ukrainian, Lebanese, Sudanese; families from countries in conflict and/or in economic crisis. Different times. Different variables now. Different influencing factors.

Definitely! People seem to be more self absorbed than ever!
I have just come back from holiday in the UK and found myself getting hacked off at the lack of manners. Have been ignored holding doors open, people queue jumping, barging past and general horrible treatment towards staff members. I did open my mouth a couple of times with people being rude to staff.
‘Im ok Jack fuck the rest’ attitude is rife especially in my home town.

I don't think we, as a society, are encouraged to think of others as much. It's all, 'I, I, me, me'.
Self-care is very important, but not at the exclusion of consideration for others.

In my opinion, it started decades ago. Anybody remember the dubbing of young adults in the 80s as, 'the 'me' generation' ?

Lots of people know their rights. Fewer people understand their responsibilities. 'I do what I like, you must like what I do.'

Jesus said in the end days: “Because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold

Lots of people know their rights. Fewer people understand their responsibilities.

Never a truer word said. I work with challenging young people. I am extremely fond of them. But the inability to take responsibility for their wrongdoings blows my mind on a daily basis.

Shesnotelectric

When I came to the UK in ‘95, I had to fuel up on manners and thank yous. Now I’ve got a surplus! The lesser part of me does bite back, once in a blue moon, with a sarcastic “You’re welcome! My pleasure! No need to thank me! Your silence is enough!”

But then, I’m just as bad as those I’m berating. My friend once read my tarot cards and said I’d become a really difficult rather disgruntled old lady. Welp! Here I am! Ready to tilt at windmills! 😆
I’m still friends with her, despite that terrible reading!

The amount of dickheads is unbelievable.
today so far I have witnessed

• I’m sat at an outdoor table with my family and dog having a cuppa. Man with a dog walks past and lets his dog approach mine, mine barks, I say no to her. He proceeds to stand there staring at me in an intimidating way for 5 mins till I stare back. He walks off still staring with a neck like an owl. Absolute dick!
• Currently sat on a bench in a crabbing spot, completely out of the way of pedestrians, you have to go down steps to get to this spot and no real reason to walk down here unless you want to crab. Tons of people crabbing. A man walks down the steps, barges through the people and you the steps the other side. He was looking for a fight!

That’s why I always sit upstairs on the bus with headphones on to drown out all the crap 🤣

Oh don’t get me started on the decline of dog etiquette since the dog population has exploded (Again, a response to and result of lockdown).
What part of ‘Our dogs will get in a tangled mess underneath the table I’m trying to enjoy my coffee at, so can you please not?’ do they not understand?
And what’s with all of these crazy breeds? What happened to the standard lab? It’s all husky-dinosaur-Rottweiler crosses, off lead and ready for lunch: My dog. 🍽️

I think businesses need to make more effort. They don't even bother with signs saying please use headphones if you are playing a video or music on a device. I know a sign won't stop an obnoxious person but it would justify others then asking, and staff too. In time it would become unacceptable. These businesses don't care about the comfort of the majority of their customers if they do nothing. No doubt I'll be told why should the staff have to deal with this etc. Thing is there's always been assholes, remember when people kept trying to smoke after the ban or before that, smoking in a non smoking area? Staff were over straight away and customers approached too. Its like we have collectively decided to let the bullies win.