It's been hard to connect grandkids to grandparents since school started. AIBU?

[SpongeBob119]

DS started school last week and since then it's been hard to see grandparents.

Before that he was in preschool 3 hrs a day, and we saw my parents 1-2 times a week and DS would play there for hours (they live 25 mins away) and my in laws 1-2 times a month (they live further and are less playful).

Since school started it's been a lot harder. There are only 2 hours between school and bedtime, and he's knackered and processing the new routine / information he's taking in so has needed time to connect with us and help processing his emotions.

We saw parents last weekend but have other plans this weekend.

Grandparents giving me a hard time over it and I do feel guilty but not really sure what I can do about it. Surely it's just the way life goes? I think it'll settle down once DS has got used to school.

How often do your kids see their grandparents?

Your parents do sound a bit needy! It's a big thing your child starting school without having to coach your own parents through it. I would say, he's finding it a lot at the moment, by the time he gets in from school and tea etc he's very tired. I just want to give him a few weeks to settle and for us to adjust to our new routine then we'll get something more regular sorted out for him seeing you. In the meantime i think if possible you should make an effort to see them over the weekend, could they pop over even for an hour on a sunday afternoon or something? My grandparents came for roast dinner every sunday when we were kids and we loved it, some amazing memories from those sunday afternoons. We now go to my parents every sunday afternoon

Do your parents have form for being manipulative or is this a new thing?

We now go to my parents every sunday afternoon

Do you also have in laws to fit in like the OP?

They are being ridiculous. I couldn't tie myself to seeing parent or in laws every Sunday afternoon. What happens when birthday parties / going to a friend's house / activity or whatever clashes?

Op they are being very unreasonable.

Tell them they need to wait for half term now. Do you have plans to work? If so you may need their help later on. First year of school needs to be very quiet for many DC in the evening

I saw my grandparents every Saturday (only had one set) until we moved away,then it was a few days in theholidays.

DD saw my parents everyday as they did the school run, her other set a couple of times a year. My parents fit around her at other times, if she's got a sports practise they came to watch etc.

There are remote options though. Stick them on facetime whilst he plays. Or they can read him a story etc.

I would keep after school quiet and calm, the school holidays will be here faster than you know, keep the first few days free for transitioning to 'home' mode and then Make plans to see them after that

They are being really unreasonable and actually I think that you might need to get really shirty with them.

This is not about them, it's all about your son. It's a huge change for him and he needs time to adjust. The first term will be hugely overwhelming and he will be very very tired. And that's just my experience with two children with no SEN.

Don't tie up your weekends. Keep it flexible if for no other reason that you are going to spend a significant portion of your weekends going to birthday parties in the future.

If you decide on Friday night you are taking him to the park or the woods and you want to invite them then fine. but he will need time to unwind, he will probably be pretty tired again after lunch and will need some quiet time with a spot of lego or some tv.

Just a thought - some friends grandparents live overseas but they used to FaceTime for 15 mins just to say hello and read a bed time story. As the kids got older there was a bit more chat but at this age, kids tend to clam up or they'll talk for 1 min and then wander off which is frustrating for grandparents who have entirely forgotten the only thing they got out of their own kids when asked how was school was "boring".

Be wary of Friday's. My experience even now with older kids is they are on their knees by Friday eve. Early dinner or they are completely feral and early bed.
Wednesday is hump day, again, early dinner and bed so they have the energy to get through another two days.

They will just need to rein in their expectations until Christmas, don't overpromise half term. He will be very tired and cranky for the first few days.