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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hope Bento boxes for packed school lunches never take off here?

168 replies

LightDrizzle · 13/09/2024 00:02

Luckily I’m an old bat and it wouldn’t directly affect me but while it’s a Japanese thing that is sort of cute at a distance, the thought of parents, and let’s face it, mostly women, thinking they have to put mental and physical effort into carving Squishmallows out of radishes and creating beautiful and imaginative Bento boxes every day for the delight of their children and the envy of their friends just makes me feel depressed.

It was bad enough in the days of cutting sandwiches and bunging a satsuma, a Mini Babybel and a Penguin in. I’m still surprised at how long it takes to make rounds of decent sandwiches. I loathed doing packed lunches on top of everything else you’ve got to do with young children and full time work. Obviously there is nothing wrong with the Bento box as a receptacle, it’s the Insta-culture expectation as to the contents that make me feel sympathetic dread. Sometimes it seems that as fast as we develop labour saving gadgets and devices; social media and influencers devise tortuous new ways of parting women from any prospect of a moment to theirselves.

OP posts:
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JustJoinedRightNow · 13/09/2024 00:05

Agreed. And as if the child is going to actually eat all the stuff they put in there

Theunamedcat · 13/09/2024 00:05

What kind of bento boxes are you having? We use them for rice dishes or other open foods saves on wrapping everything in bags ds still has a sandwich but there is no plastic on it his crisps are open etc means his lunch is more accessible for him

Saturdayblurs · 13/09/2024 00:06

Blech. I couldn’t be dealing with that. The thing is if that were to become the norm, kids get bullied if theirs aren’t up to the expected standard.

SusannaSpider · 13/09/2024 00:12

I know you said the issue wasn't the bento box as a receptacle, but I love the Sistema ones. I'm not entertaining any of that squashing an egg into the shape of Hello Kitty shite, but having different apartments to fill just seems to stop me scrabbling around - a satsuma fits here, cherry tom's in this bit etc.
I probably have ADHD and it shows on threads like this 😳

KrisAkabusi · 13/09/2024 00:30

My daughter uses a bento box. I have never carved a vegetable for her and I don't know what a squishmallow is. Things are only as difficult as you make them.

Toastandbutterand · 13/09/2024 00:35

My kids are early/mid 20's. I did bento boxes.

I did it cos it made me happy every morning and it was a small way to say I loved them.

I just asked them, they didn't always find the notes, but they loved the pretty sandwiches and still remember. The biggest thing was snacks.

You needed the most well advertised snacks to not be a loser in the lunch hall apparently.

My effort meant nothing except to them 🤷

I'm happy with that.

RosyappleA · 13/09/2024 00:35

I agree OP saw one today and was firstly shocked the small child had 6/7 chicken nuggets in once section. I really think we have overcomplicated life, especially since social media became a thing. People used to eat bread, some veg, meat, few diary things etc and drink water, fruit only in season and they were healthy. Now I feel so much pressure to make all these overcomplicated meals. I have to remember it is okay to keep things simple.

Moonshine5 · 13/09/2024 00:35

They're brilliant. Love all the compartments, so interesting and zero carving here. Yet again the Japanese produce a great item! Ps. They're for grown ups too!

CuriousGeorge80 · 13/09/2024 00:36

We use one of those type of boxes for lunches and like @SusannaSpider I think they are fantastic. Helps me make decisions based on what I can fit where, and saves on other packaging (bags, film etc)! But other than a dinosaur cut sandwiche once, there is none of the rest of it!!

Franjipanl8r · 13/09/2024 00:38

School dinners all the way - life’s too short to fuck around making a packed lunch.

StealthSpinach · 13/09/2024 00:42

I’ve used a bento-type lunchbox for DC for 5 years now. Never shaped a sandwich, carved a vegetable or made any food cutesy.

Instead, it means my ASD child can see exactly what is in there, can graze as is their preference, and I am aware of how much and what was eaten.

Plus, the schools have all had policies of no packets or plastic wrappings, and they compost peels and cores, etc - so environmentally friendly.

SusannaSpider · 13/09/2024 00:43

You needed the most well advertised snacks to not be a loser in the lunch hall apparently.

Mine were fine as long as it didn't stink. Boiled eggs and tuna were an absolute no. My MiL once gave them haddock chowder in a food flask, it was weeks before she was forgiven.

StealthSpinach · 13/09/2024 00:45

Forgot to add that our schools don’t do school lunches, so every child has to bring a packed lunch or pre-order from the canteen/tuckshop.

SusannaSpider · 13/09/2024 00:48

RosyappleA · 13/09/2024 00:35

I agree OP saw one today and was firstly shocked the small child had 6/7 chicken nuggets in once section. I really think we have overcomplicated life, especially since social media became a thing. People used to eat bread, some veg, meat, few diary things etc and drink water, fruit only in season and they were healthy. Now I feel so much pressure to make all these overcomplicated meals. I have to remember it is okay to keep things simple.

I've done chicken nuggets before now - easier than sandwiches and basically the same ingredients.

Toastandbutterand · 13/09/2024 00:48

SusannaSpider · 13/09/2024 00:43

You needed the most well advertised snacks to not be a loser in the lunch hall apparently.

Mine were fine as long as it didn't stink. Boiled eggs and tuna were an absolute no. My MiL once gave them haddock chowder in a food flask, it was weeks before she was forgiven.

🤣

I had school dinners. I didnt understand I still don't.

But I loved making butterfly sandwiches and peeling their oranges. Little cute blueberry honey healthy muffins.

Until they were at secondary, then I suddenly didn't care just as much as they didn't.

That's the way it goes!

GreenTeaLikesMe · 13/09/2024 00:51

My teen daughter does her own bento in a bento box every morning. It takes five seconds and consists of putting leftovers from last night in a box (assuming we had something like grilled fish or chicken). If the leftovers from last night are not the kind of thing that works as bento, such as a curry, she makes a peanut butter sandwich. And wraps some of last night’s salad in foil and shoves it in.

Fancy bento are not a thing for secondary school, they are as per the above, basically.

Elementary school kids usually have kyushoku (school lunches) which are really, really good! You might have to make bento on certain occasions, like a half day at the end of term, or for school trips obviously. However, when you do do bento, you usually just do simple stuff based on leftovers, as per the above. Actually, most of the public elementary schools round here specifically ban “Kyara-ben” (bento made into fancy shapes) for the occasions when you do make bento, because it would encourage kids to fuss about it and put pressure on parents, and also because there are concerns that all the extra touching and handling of food that goes on when it is cut and shaped is not very hygienic and raises the risk of contamination of food.

Kindergartens for 3-6yos (which traditionally have been aimed at non-working mothers) do have daily bento in most cases, but again, a lot of them ban the fancy shaped “Kyara-Ben.” I know a couple of mothers who send their kids to kindergartens that have daily bento and are really “into” making this kind of fancy stuff, but most are like me and just shove leftovers in a box (or better still, make your kids do it themselves) on the occasions when it does need to be made.

In any case, these days most mothers in Japan are working, so we usually use daycares (which serve school lunches) rather than kindergartens for our 3-6yos, or send them to the kind of kindergarten that is adapted for working parents and serves school lunches instead. So again, very few occasions when you need to make bento.

MissMaudSilver · 13/09/2024 00:55

DD had a compartment lunch box for three years in secondary school. Sandwich compartment, then space for fruit/snacks I filled it, bread/crackers)bagel, cheese, berries {strawberry or grape}, olives. Never any change. This year she bought a bento box, enjoys filling it herself, a lot more range and selection, salad has appeared, different fruits. So I'm all in favour

EconomyClassRockstar · 13/09/2024 01:23

My eldest is 27 and I will never forgive Annabel Karmel for bringing out her stupid packed lunch cookbook that really upped the ante of what we should be giving our children for lunch. Those home cooked chicken meatballs that took me an hour to make? He chucked them. That lovely homemade soup in the Thermos (the Thermos that cost me a small fortune) just so he could leave it in said Thermos and I would get to pour it away when he got home? Shove it up your arse, Annabel Karmel!

And, while I'm at it, F you too Planet 50FreakinDollars Box with your cute designs, easy cleaning and bento styles. My kid lost theirs on Day 3!

😄

Sadmamatoday · 13/09/2024 01:24

I think they're great, gives kids a wide variety of healthy snacks. You don't need to make to complicated, I fo 2x veg, 2x fruit a sandwich and a snack such as muffin, cookie, yogurt etc

Nub83849494 · 13/09/2024 01:28

@GreenTeaLikesMe

Super interesting thank you.

DreamTheMoors · 13/09/2024 01:30

Franjipanl8r · 13/09/2024 00:38

School dinners all the way - life’s too short to fuck around making a packed lunch.

My mother, God bless her, and God rest her soul, made my lunch every single school day for six looong years because the school lunches at my school were abhorrent.
She was a teacher and even she couldn’t choke them down.
I’m thinking they’ve improved over the years.
Hope so.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/09/2024 01:42

These vids are the Japanese version of European women faking happy family holiday vids or American women making "home made" everything with a baby on their hip. SM bullshit basically.

And lets face it, who really would have time for that?! It wont take off apart from amongst the monied SAHM with nothing better to do or influencers trying to get followers. And then only as long as it takes for the kids to get pissed off that they are getting bullied and ask Ma to stop and can they please have school dinners. The rest of us will be slinging a butty in a lunchbox along with a slight squishy satsuma and hoping for the best as we leg it to work.

DreamTheMoors · 13/09/2024 01:44

Toastandbutterand · 13/09/2024 00:35

My kids are early/mid 20's. I did bento boxes.

I did it cos it made me happy every morning and it was a small way to say I loved them.

I just asked them, they didn't always find the notes, but they loved the pretty sandwiches and still remember. The biggest thing was snacks.

You needed the most well advertised snacks to not be a loser in the lunch hall apparently.

My effort meant nothing except to them 🤷

I'm happy with that.

That’s really touching, @Toastandbutterand
They’re gonna remember that, you know. ❤️

FussyPud · 13/09/2024 02:02

I will defend generic bento. Social media like farming can get in the sea though.

We have the sistema cube bento. It only gets used for school trips, but it’s great as it means a quick fake lunchable is possible in seconds: a protein of some sort, some cheese cubes, crackers (usually rice, sometimes those nice salty ones from Aldi), a splash of some sort of condiment in the little pot, a frozen yoghurt stick and some fruit. Chucked in the bag with a bottle of water and it’s a simple job done quickly. Goes in the dishwasher at the end of the day too.

Josette77 · 13/09/2024 04:38

Bento boxes imo make the easiest meals.

I used to put in fresh veggies, fruit, a grain and protein.

I found them simple to make.

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