To not go on the residential?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

I've just started a new p/t teaching role. Towards the end of the academic year the whole year group go on a residential which is about 3.5 hours away, for a full school week.
I have a just-turned 4 yo and other academic commitments outside of school.
AIBU to say I can't attend the residential?
As an aside, my mum (love her) thought teachers got paid for any additional hours regarding this. She was surprised to learn I'd just be getting my standard pay!

I’ve done business trips - some glamorous (for me). Some really not. Even if they’re the grotty kind, when the task is done you get some alone time, maybe in a cab, on a plane or in a hotel room.
Ive also done 2 school residentials. At the first, the head gave the teachers a bottle of wine for an evening. We never had time to open it.
I’ve done a couple of residentials with my class - one with a day off in lieu, one without. It’s a week of shit food, poor sleep, not seeing my own kids, not a moment to get a cup of tea, no home comforts, can’t chat to a friend, being cold, standing around in the rain. And of course, not a single thank you from child or parent either because it didnt occur to them or because they think it’s all part of the job.
I will not be doing another one. I’d happily go away on one of my old business trips again. Anyone who thinks that having been on a business trip gives them any insight into what a residential with kids is like needs to give their head a wobble.
If the parents want their kids to go away with their classmates that much they can sort a PGL week over a half term.
So no OP, YANBU.

I just want to see what AlisonChains has been saying.

Teacher goodwill is eroding fast. I’ve been teaching for over 25 years, have done many residentials and will do another early next year. However I am no longer guilted into doing all and sundry because ‘teaching is a vocation’. No it’s a job, like many other jobs. I work stupidly long hours, many unpaid and always have because it’s what need to do to make sure my class get the best experience I can give them. That’s my choice. But I won’t be guilted by colleagues, parents and management into doing anything extra that I don’t want to do anymore. Two years ago I was repeatedly attacked by a pupil, culminating in him trying to stab me. His right to an education meant he remains, to this day, in our school and I don’t have the right to refuse to teach him (I don’t anymore only due to a supportive HT). At that point teaching became a job, nothing more.

Do it if it works for you but if it doesn’t say no. You’re part time for a reason OP.

Speaking as someone who's attended and led many primary school residentials in my time, I don't think YABU.

As previous posters have said, although I loved sharing some of the experiences with my classes it is incredibly hard work. Many was the trip where we took snacks to eat after the kids were in bed and never touched them all week! Sleeping with one ear open, constantly head-counting, sitting on the draughty floor outside kids' bedrooms waiting for them to go to sleep so you can finally go to bed, dealing with homesickness, travel sickness, vomit, accidents, bed-wetting, meltdowns, fall-outs between friends and just being responsible for the safety of 30+ of other people's children while having to leave your own children to manage without you for a week. Plus when we got back to school parents would complain if we were delayed by traffic, hardly anyone said thank you and on more than one occasion I waited for up to an hour for a late parent to collect their child so that I could finally go home to mine, have a hot bath and a proper sleep.

Then there was the year we were away with a group of London children when the London tube bombings happened and a stupid woman came running up to us and (in front of children whose families were in London) said, "Oh, is your school from London? It's just been on TV that bombs are going off there and loads of people have been killed!"
Yeah, the aftermath of that comment was fun for us school staff to deal with...

OP, I've known more than one occasion when for some reason a class teacher/TA hasn't been able to go on a residential (e.g. because of pregnancy) and what's always happened is that another staff member has swapped with them and the teacher who didn't go has covered the other person's class at school. I've done it myself- taken someone else's class away. So with enough notice to your HT I'm sure a swap could be arranged.

Every teacher I know fully understands that they will run at least one unpaid extra curricular club using their expertise in a hobby/special interest (ski holidays, bike maintenance, cookery etc), they accept that playground/lunchtime/homework club duty is require even if it falls during lunch hours.

No @CautiousLurker Teachers cannot be directed to work during their lunch hour AT ALL. They can only be directed to run a club if this is included in the directed time set out at the beginning of the year. This is a maximum of 1,265 hours per academic year, aorwad over 195 days. It cannot include overnight trips - these are a massive favour!

Yes, I'm a school governor and strongly believe that we have a duty of care for staff. Having worked as a TA with challenging 1-1 children I know what it's like to not always feel safe.
Teachers and school staff are under huge pressure nowadays and their welfare must be prioritised and I believe that it should include strong boundaries on work life balance as well, including expectations on extra-curricular activities.

Did you know you were expected to volunteer when you took the job?

You obviously have zero idea of what it entails being a teacher on a residential if you are equating what you do to this.

I say this as an ex teacher who worked before teaching in industry and I lucky to now be in a job where I get time in lieu for working weekends if I got abroad.

It's irrelevant what parents expect; this is to do with the expectations of the school, and what you knew about the job when you accepted it. If the extra duties were made clear to you, then you should abide by what you agreed to do.

@PCController2 No at no point did I agree to go on a residential. Pretty sure this is not something they could ask me to do at interview either.

You're a year 6 teacher right? Surely you know that a residential is pretty much ubiquitous.

It is quite possible that OP did not know which year group she would be in at the point when she interviewed for and was offered the job. In most primaries, only 1 year group - 1/7 of the school - go on residential. Especially if there are several staff changes, new staff may be interviewed and appointed for eg ‘KS2 class teacher’, and only later are the exact class allocations worked out, taking into account the specific skills and backgrounds of newly appointed staff as well as existing ones.

General teaching contracts do not specify the need to attend residentials, and OP may simply have been unlucky in being allocated to a year group that, in this school, has one.

(Y6 residentials are not the only model. I have encountered Y4; Y5 and Y6 residentials, and a full 5 days is increasingly rare for cost reasons.)

When I was teaching it was not compulsory. The class teacher is obviously the best person to go, as they know the kids.
But I went once and the class teacher covered my class. She couldn't be away overnight.

It is also those children who are reluctant to go who benefit the most - and it's usually the parents who are reluctant rather than the children but claim its the child, and then it transfers onto the child. We have had at least 10 mums come onto the school bus crying or banging on the window crying or running after the bus shouting their childs name, children were fine until they saw their mum crying and then get upset.

They build self confidence, resilience and independence, and a break from social media, and are so helpful for those with mental health issues, which are massively on the rise.

We have children with a variety of additional needs, physical medical and emotional, and they benefit hugely, they are often consciously or subconsciously held back by concerned parents (different group to the over emotional ones above), and just need a chance to be a child outside their very protective parents watchful eye.

I only recall 1 child who was truly homesick after having taken 100's away, and that was when they found a very emotional note from mum in their bag.

Three of my children wanted to go and one didn't. Do you really think I targeted one child to stop them going. Children can have opinions of their own you know. I can categorically say that my "reluctant" child did not benefit the most from going on a residential, she was traumatised by what happened. The reason she went was because the Head trotted out the "children who are reluctant to go benefit the most" rubbish. One of my biggest regrets is listening to him. Without a doubt her mental health was damaged by the trip.

What if a teacher accepted a job with a certain year group, then moved to one that did a residential? Is every teacher meant not to take a job just in case they may teach a year group that does one and they won't be prepared to do it?

@littleroad you are 100% correct in what you say. As a former teacher who has done residentials, unless you have this experience you can't compare it to any other "work trip".

I think cost is a big issue for many families, particularly with senior schools organising trips that literally cost thousands. Imagine being a parent struggling to feed the family and your excited child coming home with details of a trip to the Amazon at a bargain £2,500.

@Bushmillsbabe In some cases, but absolutely not all. Some SEMH needs, especially at the more complex end of things, would mean that a particular child simply would not be able to cope with being away from home, especially for 5 days.
It would be completely unfair on everyone - child, their parent/s, the other children, staff - if that child was "made" to go.

It is often a real benefit to such children to pick more local, shorter residentials as they can eg attend just for one or more days, or just a singke overnight. The 3.5 hour distant 5 day version is much less accessible.

All the parents furiously barracking for the right of a residential come what may - who in their right mind thinks it’s a good idea to have anyone supervise their children after working for, say, 48 hours straight? (Yes, I am counting the hours when I am in bed, since I am on call and get very little sleep in reality).

Is your child not important or special enough to be looked after by a fully rested functioning person who has proper breaks? How adequate do you think any supervision can possibly be aftef 2/3/4 days without a break? Serious question.

I don't think this is the career for you @Youthiswastedontheyoung not because of this residential trip. But you clearly resent the job.

And to be honest I don't take for granted what the teachers do. I have the utmost respect for them! Equally I wouldn't be upset if residentials where cancelled either. They are expensive and unless your child doesn't want to go, then it's expected of you to pay and send them which is a huge cost and involves buying allsorts on top. I've had to pay for 3 this year!

As lovely as they are. They aren't necessary, especially if the adults going with them resent it so much!

@Jessie3 I will add that 3-night one I did do (about a decade ago so I was much younger!) I came home from feeling very poorly. I think I was just completely spent.
Long story short, a staff member who was supposed to be with me on the girls' wing pulled out right at the last minute, meaning I was on my own on the wing.
The cohort had lots of additional needs - both medically (medication/creams needed administering both morning and night) and emotionally (issues of frequent incontinence which of course I dealt with as sensitively as is possible when dormitory sharing).
I remember so well getting in the front door and just desperate to go to bed. I was a single mum to two young boys at the time which made things more difficult as well.

@Relearningbehaviour I've been doing it for twenty years now, and think as I've matured I've become better at saying no more. I still give above and beyond but know more and more where to draw the line.
Ultimately, I recognise that my own children should take priority over that of other people's. Teaching is my job, but being a present wife, daughter, sister, auntie, friend and mum matters the most.
I make no apologies for that.