To ask what to do with my son?

[TiredTiredTiredTiredBloodySoddingTired]

My ds is 17. He was doing an apprenticeship, but he was 'let go' due to lack of enthusiasm. He went to college for a bit, but hated the courses.
He applied to join the army. They don't want him due to a history of asthma.

He has no idea what to do with himself. I don't know what to do with him.

He's miserable. He feels like a failure. He's a clever lad, got reasonable GCSEs. Kind, considerate, hard working.

What on earth can he do? While he's a NEET I'm not getting any child benefit for him, or any part of UC. I work full time, single parent with another teen at home. I need him to be bringing something in, but there's no work for him around here.

I'm scared he's becoming depressed.

Are there no shop/supermarket/hospitality jobs around?

Lots of places are starting to look for Xmas staff.

I'm sorry to heat that your son is finding it hard to know what to do, it can be hard for young people to find their 'thing' sometimes.

What apprenticeship/courses did he start?

If he was considering the army, it sounds like he wants something varied/physical? Has he considered/would he consider, the police? A quick Google suggests asthma, if well managed, won't hold him back.

For the short term, I would encourage him to find a job, so he is building experience and earning some money. Doesn't matter what at the moment - supermarkets/warehouse/waiting on etc. It will also get him doing and out of the house which will help if you think he may be becoming depressed.

Then, he can have a think about what he wants - speak to colleges about other options - some may have Jan starts.

What was his apprenticeship in? What does he want to do?

YouTube.

He went to college for a bit, but hated the courses.

How many courses did he try? Surely he needs to get a shop or hospitality job, or do something else at collage. Does the collage anyone that can help guide him?

Guess that he'll have to get a job. Supermarkets are a good place to start. Look for seasonal jobs as we're approaching Christmas. Something on his CV will help him, plus he will get some structure to his week.

Whilst he’s looking for a career he might like, with his GCSEs he can start many jobs advertised. Office, schools, shops, hotels. Get out of the house

"YouTube"

What? 😆

What interests does he have? Can you find a job that matches something he's interested in? Eg if he likes sports, could he find a job in a gym?
I would say at 17, he needs to find something soon before he gets too disheartened, because then it becomes a downward spiral. My DS did a stint in a big warehouse during COVID as there just weren't any jobs/apprenticeships. Not what he really wanted to do but it was full of other young people, they had the radio on and he got so much overtime, he was able to buy a car. Prior to him taking the job I was worried about him being in his room all day playing computer games. I think he would be doing that now if he hadn't have taken the job.
Try some local recruitment agencies.

How about telling him that he needs to pick an online course?
He may not know what to do right now, but a qualification will help him in whatever he wants to do later.

If there's truly no possibility of a part time job in your area then he could whilst studying apply to receive a benefit.

I would be quite stern though as he sounds like he needs a kick up the bum.

He needs to be either working or studying whilst under your roof (both ideally).

Letting him wallow will not only harm his future but will probably make him more depressed as he will have no satisfaction in himself.

If you believe it is depression that would be long lasting vs situational, maybe a GP appointment as well

You've said he's hard working so how many jobs has he applied for and where is he looking.

You need to sit him down, discuss options and work out a plan, it needs to be led by him with you suggesting things so he can't in future blame you for pushing him into something he didn't want to do. He could:

• Go into college to discuss options
• Put his CV together and go and seek work by dropping it off around businesses
• Look on Indeed and Glassdoor
• do some voluntary work at local charity shops etc
• Start a business eg gardening.....

But make it clear that doing nothing is not an option.

MN fall back.. get a job in a supermarket.
Supermarkets are not an easy option to get into.
Online assessment, group assessment.
They are very picky who they employ.

He could sign up with Universal Credit and they will give a push towards employment but should also support with short courses etc.
Have you a local careers/employability service who he can connect with, they should also come up with options. They will have details of Princes Trust courses too. These are all aimed at young people struggling with anxiety or motivation.
Ask around family and friends for work experience or volunteering as this can really help confidence.

Get him to go to the GP and tell them how he’s feeling.

A friend of mine was originally turned down for the Navy as she had a history of being prescribed inhalers as a child. As her asthma was no longer causing her problems, she was able to get further medical evidence supporting her claim that it wouldn’t cause a problem and was later accepted by the Navy. I obvs don’t know what your son’s situation is but, if his asthma is well managed, it might be worth discussing this with the army further.

Self employment, I know what you'll say doing what?

Because there's a lot of call for inexperienced 17 yr olds with knowledge of fuck all.

If the army appealed but isn’t an option then seconding the idea of exploring policing. In which case any service community based job in the meantime would be a good idea in the meantime. They only recruit at certain times.

What should you do ? Kick his arse and tell him life as an adult means doing things you don't want to do just to pay the bills. You tell him he gets a job, any job and contributes to the household and while he is at it he has chores to do. He is not a child.

Another suggestion for Princes Trust.

My DS was in a similar position, but it co-incided with a lockdown, so wasn't much we could do. By the time lockdown was over he turned 18 and could apply for UC and they transferred him over to a local charity who helped him get a supermarket job, where he still is and just had a little promotion.

Also had no qualifications.

Princes Trust was on my list for places to try, as well as a couple of other local schemes.

I honestly think people have no idea how hard it is to get a job in a supermarket for these kids. My ds applied for loads. Not even an interview.
Depending in where you are the police want a level 3 qualification or equivalent experience, but this can be anything. If he could get to college to do a btec in uniformed services or an online access course that he could fit around part time work or volunteering?

Could he check the medical requirements for police? There's apprenticeships. Or could do a uniform service course at college

What did he want to apply for to do in the army?