To ask what to do with my son?

[TiredTiredTiredTiredBloodySoddingTired]

My ds is 17. He was doing an apprenticeship, but he was 'let go' due to lack of enthusiasm. He went to college for a bit, but hated the courses.
He applied to join the army. They don't want him due to a history of asthma.

He has no idea what to do with himself. I don't know what to do with him.

He's miserable. He feels like a failure. He's a clever lad, got reasonable GCSEs. Kind, considerate, hard working.

What on earth can he do? While he's a NEET I'm not getting any child benefit for him, or any part of UC. I work full time, single parent with another teen at home. I need him to be bringing something in, but there's no work for him around here.

I'm scared he's becoming depressed.

There are so many college courses, he needs to just choose one and get in there asap.

It's only the start of term, is there really no course at a local FE college that he'd be interested in taking? What were his best GCSE subjects? Has he or have you called up and spoken to the admissions people at the local college(s)? I run with a woman who works in admissions and she said they've been really busy. Either that, or he needs to find a job - any job - stacking shelves, flipping burgers, washing up, whatever is available.

Thanks for all the replies, I'll answer a few questions/responses. Probably things I should have mentioned, sorry!

His apprenticeship was farming machinery, but he really doesn't want to do engineering stuff any more. His BTechs were Business and Art. Enjoyed the Art, but couldn't earn from it. Hated the Business. The college was a 6th form that doesn't really do any vocational courses. The nearest FE college is an hour by public transport.

Our nearest supermarket only takes 18+ .

We live fairly rurally, buses are ok-ish, but don't run very early or very late. He's learning to drive, which would give him more scope, but he keep failing the theory.

I'm inclined to agree with @Thevelvelletes !

He might consider the Police, however, the application process takes around 9 months so would need to be earning in the meantime.
He wanted to be an army combat technician in the army with a view to being a paramedic on leaving. He'll need a degree to be a paramedic, he's not academic and he doesn't want to go to university.

He likes playing rugby and online games.

He really does need a kick up the bum. I'm struggling to support him, I'm out of the house most of the time, at work, or shattered when I am home. Single parenting isn't easy!

It's depressing to say that McDonald's turned him down. But they gave no reason as to why!

https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/explore-roles/ambulance-service-team/roles-ambulance-service/emergency-care-assistant

https://www.gateshead.ac.uk/courses/uniformed-public-services-armed-forces-nhs-and-prison-services-level-3

Course like this

I would explore the further out FE college. An hour travel isn’t unusual around here.

If he needs confidence boosting and some general direction in life, I'd really recommend the Team programme run by The Prince's Trust.

My boys were equally unenthusiastic about anything but signed up to this and it changed their whole outlook. Despite their initial reticence, they really enjoyed it.

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/how-we-can-help/grow-skills-and-confidence

He might consider the Police, however, the application process takes around 9 months so would need to be earning in the meantime

It feels like an element of your post is about basically not wanting to provide for him financially, he's not even 18. Fine to encourage a part time job for spending money, but as a his parent he is not an adult yet - you do need to support him a bit longer to complete his education.

Just had a look at this, thank you. Unfortunately, there are no vacancies anywhere near us.

Education is the best bet. He might not have enjoyed the courses he was on before but im sure you can find something he prefers but he probably needs to learn life isnt fun and games, he needs to work at whatever he does.

I've suggested this type of thing, there is one at the nearest FE college. He's being negative about every bloody suggestion.

I can't get out of him what he actually wants to do. Right now, I think he doesn't want to do anything. He's so despondent about the army rejecting him.

He needs to get a job

Well, yes... hence my asking for advice!

I'm trying to persuade him that carrying on his education might be a better bet, then he's not having to earn. But he wants to earn money, he's as sick as I am of us being skint, despite my working all the hours. It's proving tricky talking to him at the moment. He keeps clamming up. I'm trying hard to keep an open dialogue. The current situation is untenable.

I'm paying for his car insurance and tax. I bought the cheap runaround for his 17th, and we were both quietly confident that he's pass his test fairly quickly, but he's tried the theory 4 times and keeps failing!

He will be 18 halfway through next year, so quite some time yet before he can get a supermarket job relatively locally.

OP could he be depressed? He seems to have very little enthusiasm to pursue anything, even by teenage standards.

If he is, treating the depression will help him stick with something.

The problem with depression is that you’re not even interested in the things you’re interest in. If that even makes sense!!

While he's trying to figure it out, could he register with a recruitment agency? My DS applied to an agency on a Thursday, had an induction on the Friday (no interview, just had to take all his paperwork and do a drugs test) then started on the Monday. As I say, not the job he really wanted but it helped him focus a bit on what he really wanted to do while working in a fun environment with other youngsters.

Police
Fire brigade
Paramedic

Year abroad

This sounds like a good plan. Thank you. Would you be able to pm with the agency you used please? What job is he doing?

Get him.doing his cscs card as a start. He can do agency labouring then.
I live in Yorkshire so google construction key skills Yorkshire if you live here if not add your area. Then get him on a anything and everything free to do with groundworks. It pays very well. Or dry lining is up and coming around 23 per hour. Anyways first things first he needs his green cscs card

Please list his skills and talents

Might make it easier to make suggestions

Also kh plant training edge of Doncaster had free groundwork machine courses which was 10 days long like dumpers etc. Email them he can pay and stay in a hotel ad after the 10 days he can work

@StormingNorman I think you could be right. It was all fun and games over the summer hols, while his mates were off college, but now they're all back to school, he's home alone every day. Some days he doesn't get out of bed.

He is rudderless. It's making me sad too, because he really is a lovely boy. I don't like seeing him so clueless.

I could have written this 3 years ago about my son. He dropped out of college too. By chance we saw a Royal Mail apprenticeship for a year. They took him in and he's still there and loving his team. Decent wages for a teen too, they pay way over standard apprenticeship pay.

If he fancies being a paramedic would he consider a job in care while he is deciding to apply for the police or not? There's really a shortage of carers and it would give him good experience.
He might also consider being an ambulance technician which doesn't need a degree.