To ask what to do with my son?

[TiredTiredTiredTiredBloodySoddingTired]

My ds is 17. He was doing an apprenticeship, but he was 'let go' due to lack of enthusiasm. He went to college for a bit, but hated the courses.
He applied to join the army. They don't want him due to a history of asthma.

He has no idea what to do with himself. I don't know what to do with him.

He's miserable. He feels like a failure. He's a clever lad, got reasonable GCSEs. Kind, considerate, hard working.

What on earth can he do? While he's a NEET I'm not getting any child benefit for him, or any part of UC. I work full time, single parent with another teen at home. I need him to be bringing something in, but there's no work for him around here.

I'm scared he's becoming depressed.

Skills and Talents? Good question!
Imaginative, friendly, compassionate, fit, creative, hard-working, great cook, good at housework (he does most of it now!), animals and small children like him, great people person. He got 5's at GCSE for Sociology, Geography, History, Science, Maths. A 4 for English and a pass for Btech Child Development (!)

He finds studying difficult, possibly dyslexic, no formal diagnosis but he describes text as 'wobbly' and a blue filter stops that. He's definitely not academic.

@Treeinthesky this sounds promising too, I have a friend up there who he could stay with! We're very south!

How about catering college? He may find restaurant work interesting?

Harsh but somewhat fair. Op you say he's hardworking, but he was let go from the apprenticeship because he basically wasn't.

He's learnt a hard lesson. Now it's time to give him the degree course. Explain he has to start to pay his way. He's grown up and needs to contribute to the home as an adult should. Tell him he either has to start a new college course and stick with it or get a job

Don't do this they will drug him and tell him to self refer to talking therapies all for completely normal feelings

My 17 year old was similar, he's just started on an outdoor education btec. After a year of struggling through a levels, it just wasn't for him. He's so excited to be doing this new course.
Does your local college offer something more "hands on"?

Would he consider social work/probation officer?

I know this may require a degree, but maybe not for an unqualified social worker

They need more men in these industries

Indeed my nephew got turned down for Aldi ,he's just graduated with a 2:1,I'm guessing there were other people who interviewed better.

I too was in a similar situation at 16 many moons ago and I took a manual labour job, McDonald's also are very picky about their staff! As are supermarkets.

I see he has a BTECH in child development, what about an apprenticeship in childcare? And there's lots of different directions he can with from there.
There's the option of care work but it can be tough emotionally. Is Firefighter out of the question too with the Asthma history? Might not be if it was as a child.
Police?
Ambulance Technician
Manual Labour like carpentry apprenticeship, roofing, building, plumbing or even electrician?

He does need to be in some kind of education but there are still options!
Look for a local job fayre to retrigger his interest in life. He's in the funk after a few rejections and who can blame him.

What about a firefighter? He'll need to be 18, but it'll give him time to pass the fitness test etc.

With his btech in child development and his traits being compassionate and getting on easily with other including kids I'd second looking into social work.

Try a vocational course. Somewhere like Nacro, they help on the motivation bit too. They helped my nephew who sounds similar, www.nacro.org.uk/nacro-services/nacro-education/

Join the Navy?

Could he volunteer for the Scouts? It would build confidence and skills. I can without a doubt say I wouldn't be in the job I am today without being a Guide leader. He can do this around a paid job as well as it's a few hours in an evening and some weekends. This kind of thing also helps on job applications.

If the Army won't have him i doubt the navy will?

He's had a knock to his confidence not getting into the army and sees his mates getting on with FE or work. He can't be doing that lying in bed all day lark but glad to hear he pulls his weight around the house.

As for failing the theory test he really needs to apply himself to the task, a driving licence will open up his opportunities. He may not be academic but it's like rote learning.

What about gardening work if he's outdoorsy or as he likes food, training in a professional kitchen with day release to college?

How about something like this:
https://www.plumpton.ac.uk/adventure-education/

Would he consider working in a nursery. In my area there are lots of apprentiships in childcare. There are also afterschool club roles.

Also maybe knowing it doesn't have to be a forever decision. Lots of qualifications are transferable and end up taking you off in all sorts of directions, so you dint need to think I will love this forever, just I can do this until the course is done.

I also agree there might be charities that he could gain volunteer experience whilst he thinks what to do next.

Could you suggest he does any number of the free career quizzes online?

Or even try the Myres Briggs personality test and see what that brings us. It will suggest careers based on his personality type.

From what you said, he has great people skills. That will stand to him hugely. He'll figure it out in the end but just needs to start understanding himself a little better, what he likes, dislikes, what he's good at etc.

Bless him, he sounds like a great lad with a huge amount to offer - he will be absolutely fine. Good on him wanting to start earning. He probably feels very lost at the moment, however he will find his way.

My DC is dyslexic and has just started a level 3 course in games design. Is that something he might be interested in or maybe media or criminology? I don’t think that a hours journey is too long, my DC travelled that far to college and has ASD. There are so many different courses but I do sympathise as my DC struggled to find something that he wanted to study.
My other DC really struggled to find work, it’s really hard and a lot of the time you don’t even get a response from your application. How about enrolling in an agency to do temp work, carer, labouring, catering, health care assistant, porter in a hospital, medical receptionist or a warehouse job (Amazon pay well apparently). Are you near an airport, generally lots of jobs going there. Would he be interested in sales?

Young persons charity, local sports provision or similar? Can start as a volunteer with some shifts somewhere else for £? Otherwise PP suggested childcare apprenticeship which sounds right up his street! He'll find his way, you sound like a lovely mum 👍

Local schools round here are desperate for teaching assistants. He could try that. Once he has passed his test he could do supply taing and maybe work in special needs schools which is better paid.

Kitchen Porter work

If he likes art and gaming - why not look into game design courses? I live near a hub of gaming companies and there always seems to be jobs looking for artists etc.

Agree with others that supermarket or hospitality would be a good stop gap. I grew up and learned so much around that age in both sectors!

Well, thank you everyone for your helpful suggestions.

In a weird twist of events today, he's got himself a little job in a cafe in the next village, then we went to look at the college in the nearest city, after looking at the bus timetables. It'll be 1hr20 mins each way, but he's enrolled on a catering course!

Fingers crossed he'll stick at it, it's only a year to start with, and if he likes it, he'll continue onto the second year.

He's feeling much more positive about the world this evening.

I'm quietly relieved.