WIBU to put an egg on his mash?

[Almostneverunreasonable]

DH usually makes nice mashed potato. But this year, he has started adding mustard, a lot of it, to the mash. The two DCs and I don’t like mustard mash. His first response, when this was raised, was ‘tough, I do’.

I suggested that he served ours into a separate bowl, then added the mustard to his own.

Next time we had mash, no change, everyone was served the mustard mash.

I pointed out he was spoiling the food we had all been looking forward to. ‘But I like it’ was the response.

The next time ‘oh, I forgot you didn’t like it’.

He has form for being controlling and dictatorial. I think this is just another way of enforcing his will on the family, that we have to eat something we don’t like, because he says so.

He doesn’t like eggs. WIBU to break an egg on his mustard mash next time he serves it to us all? He might then remember that food you have been looking forward to being spoiled by the addition of an ingredient you don’t like is not a pleasant experience.

Alternatively I could insist on making the mash myself (which is not as creamy as his, he will complain) or hiding the mustard. But I think an egg on his mash would have more memorable impact.

Always this

It's often something little, something petty, that is the straw that breaks the camels back.

But yes, he is absolutely showing you and the children that he is in charge. What he wants goes and you less important people are tolerated by him.

When really, it is you that is tolerating his abuse. Do not eat his mash. Do not make the children have this mash on their plates. Get your shit together, starting with the mash. I hope you find the strength you need to do whatever it takes to get out of this mans control.

I have just read this to my DH. He often has a different opinion to me. He just asked “well, how often does she cook? Maybe he is cross with doing all the cooking”? And honestly, that could be a point. He could obviously use his words to express if he was unhappy doing the cooking, but some people just…..don’t? How is the devision of labour generally? Not just the cooking, everything?
I am guilty of assuming that Op does the lions share…..but actually, that doesn’t happen in my house, so maybe I was wrong?

Here's the thing OP, that I see.

Why should you need to show him this thread? Why should the opinions of a bunch of random interneters matter more than the valid opinion of his wife and children?

Why should he need the Internet to tell him he's a cunt? Why isn't he listening to YOUR views and opinions - you know, the people he is supposed to love and look after?

He doesn't respect you or your children. We can't change that.

Bit if you do - Hey OP's DH, you're an abusive shit who doesn't deserve to have a family. Take your screaming insecurities that result in need for damaging control and fuck off.

I haven’t RTFT so I’m sure someone else has said it but, fuck me this is so sinister it makes my blood run cold.

Well fucking said 👏

I am 53. I still remember a bf of my dm's making me eat cornflakes with hot milk.. I was 7.. He is abusing your dc in plain sight. If you can't ltb for you do it for them.. Or you are failing them.

How horrible he’s being! I love mustard in mash - so I added it afterwards, on my plate. To mine. I wouldn’t retaliate though - he might hurt you :( I’m so sorry.

Don't show him the thread
Ltb asap

That's what HE should do, yes. But he isn't, and OP says this is a pattern of behaviour.

I like really spicy food, way spicier than anyone I know can handle. If I'm making a spicy dish and make it 'for the table' then it won't be enjoyable for me to eat chilli high

So I separate mine before the end and add what I like, and then I don't kill anyone else The only explanation for him not taking his portion of mash and adding mustard and leaving the rest is him getting some weird kick out of forcing them to eat food they don't like. It's nuts tbh, and OP needs to leave.

What a horrible man. Throw the mustard in the bin. If you've made a thread about him before, he's clearly not changing. I couldn't live with someone like this who was horrible to his wife and children.

Let's face it, he's not cutting the mustard anymore

Ltb

I know this seems like a seemingly trivial incident about mash. But it isn't. It's the motives behind it. The menace. The "fuck you".

You should leave

Because he's the one making the mash and he's a controlling arsehole.

Hth

Perfectly put.

I really wouldn't

Showing him the last one hasn't made much difference has it?

He does it because he wants to
And he doesn't change because he doesn't want to.

Why stop at mash? Serve egg on all his meals until he stops.

Because he's the one cooking

And he's the one being difficult.

Do you see?

How do people end up being like this?

‘I like it so that you don’t is irrelevant, even though I can easily make it without’

Just… why?

I did sausage and mash recently. Tried putting whole grain mustard in it. The children didn’t like it much. Everyone was polite. I won’t put mustard in next time. The end.

This reminds me of my uni flat mates who kept putting ketchup in things like bolognese, chilli etc for the household even though I hate it.

But I guess they were only flatmates and not a supposed partner or parent!