To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

I've seen a few young women recently who I reckon are probably obese wearing crop tops, or other skimpy clothes and I have thought how great it is that they can buy the clothes they want and feel confident enough to wear them. I veered between very thin and pretty fat in my teens and early twenties, and only found a healthy equilibrium (ie feel slightly chubby now in my forties but a healthy bmi so that's good enough for me!) in my late twenties, and I can tell you one thing that never ever would have helped me to get there quickly, and that's societal pressure, shame and systemic barriers.
I'm pretty careful with my kids to try to do what I can to make sure they don't get overweight in the first place, though.

So a small appetite is any you are thin then not exactly a scientific mystery. When do you hear people say that, to say you are naturally thin makes people think you don't have to try not because you don't eat much.

@nailclipper
What’s the point of this? I’m sure we all make throwaway comments here and there. It’s not a big deal.

Says who? I read every day. I'd struggle to be friends with people who aren't readers, because I love conversations about books. There are whole online communities even built around reading. In person book groups. On Instagram and TikTok (I'm not on these but I know they're popular), there are swathes of people obsessed with certain genres. There are literary festivals. One look on Etsy and there's so much merchandise made for the classics alone.

This is just another flippant comment of yours that you're delivering like stone cold fact, and it's really highlighting ignorance.

I have never called myself naturally thin at all. By that measure then there would be people that are naturally fat. I do not believe that to be the case. Of course there are different body shapes, and genetics that may predetermine where any weight will be distributed. I do not have a large appetite, pure, and simple, so I do not overeat, hence I deduce, why I am slim. I don't say anything different to anybody who would care to know my "secret".

Also, I have just AS my own account as I can't recall saying I liked cake so much as I don't and found that nailclipper has edited my post to read that I very much like cake and I have not stayed that at all in fact on another thread on 2019 I have played this:

By Goldenbear
26/08/2019 13:47
We have a cake club at work and withdrew membership as I am not a massive fan of cake, they all had

Worry for their health /future. But that's just my Dr hat ruling everything, think the same for smokers and ant other poorly controlled health condition like diabetes

And yes I have posted loads more than nailclipper as I have been on MN since 2006! Nailclipper seeming has made 28 posts. Hilarious

Oh apologies, I thought you'd posted that you were naturally thin.

Well good for you, you are a better person than me as I can't fit work in, DC and extensive exercise routines but I probably could of I tried to be as good q person as you are!

It's not an extensive exercise routine. I wake up early, before everyone else, workout, then shower and start my day. I have children and work full time.

It doesn't make me a good person. It just means that I prioritise my health, and also try to set good examples for my children. Same with the food I cook, the books I make sure they have access to, the sports I offer them, the instrument lessons I also offer, so on and so forth. I'm teaching balance from a very young age.

It's not hard, because that's how I live myself.

If you don't want to do that for yourself, by all means - don't. But don't act like it's this wild secret fit and healthy people are keeping from you that just isn't available, or that they don't have to put the effort in every day or starve ourselves silly and not live. We do. That's a choice we make.

When I see a really overweight person, I wonder what awful trauma they've been through.

But maybe I'm projecting, because that was me in my 20s (obese and depressed). I'm slim/healthy now but I have no judgement on anyone.

We do live and put the effort in, that is. Not that we starve ourselves silly which is how that bit sort of reads. 😆 Too much mumsnet for one day, I think.

OMG how sanctimonious are you. I have literally been thin and very thin, I exercise like I did in my twenties and thirties but is is not enough now and something has changed and it is a real battle to even maintain, let alone lose weight this in the last 2-3 years. The efforts and sacrifices needed are excessive I have found to lose weight so it starts to become too time consuming and I am not sure this is balance at all and not a good example to my teens. My teens are skinny and my eldest eats junk as much as he wants when he wants but at the end of the day he is nearly a man and he can decide this to some extent. I have always fed them well balanced meals as does my DH who is an amazing cook but as a PP said for us that hasn't meant weight loss, the food is loads blander for that.

Also, I am agreeing with you it isn't a secret the truth is exercise is needed or massive food reduction in your forties that's my expectations with the woman I know and I am friends with lots of women. Respectfully you are in your thirties and I didn't have to try that hard then.

Sure. You also said your exercise is a bit of walking and you and DH couldn't dream of re-looking at your diet. Or something like that.

A hint: when something stops working, for example the exercise or diet you currently have, there's usually a reason. Maybe you're eating more than you think. Maybe it is just age, who knows. But when that happens people who want to generally change things if it's important enough to them.

I've got a friend who's recently decided to take up weight training because she's feeling like yoga isn't enough for her at the moment. She's 42. Another friend has ditched all UPF's. My sister had a change in jobs a few years back, and decided to get a dog to make sure she was getting plenty of walking in - her old job was in walkable distance to her house. I bought a standing desk during the pandemic when I first started WFH, so I'd not be tempted to sit on the couch.

If you think healthy food = bland, I don't know what to tell you.

So you are a great sensationalist do you work for The Sun as what I think is funny is that you have omitted the 'ad hoc" but about the cake post and pulled it out of context and you failed to refer to other posts about cake like this one from me:

By Goldenbear
26/08/2019 13:47
We have a cake club at work and withdrew membership as I am not a massive fan of cake, they all had

How strange that you went to these lengths. You also have a posting history of 28 posts is that like today and yesterday? New are you. I have been on here for years of course I'm going to post.

Not a massive food reduction and not an insane amount of exercise like you're claiming though. Dear God this is going in circles.

Her arguments are becoming more and more peculiar! There must be something in the (non existent, apparently) cake!

I don't think healthy food equals bland, when did I say that. DH and I were talking about how we like food that tastes good and we both have different cultural inputs with our cooking so it is not bland lucky for us but he does like to make too much probably. Again, in our 30s we didn't think about it, in our twenties pre-children we are loads but you are right we have to adapt in our forties but it just zaps the enjoyment out of most things.

I don't deny that but most people on there saying not bother as genes. Why are you linking threads and AS me so weird and such bad form but maybe you don't know that is you have only posted yesterday nd today 🤔