To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

@Goldenbear
Like you say, naturally thin people are rare, if they said 'I eat what I want' I wouldn't think much about it, if a fat person said the same I'd probably think 'yeh I can see that'

I wouldn't be thinking they must be exercising their brain instead of their body.

For young people I feel sad because I think it can determine so much of what happens in their life.

Sorry, yes I agree as it is a bit opening yourself up to looking obsessive if you say you eat what you like as you are constantly on the treadmill or sea swimming or running or walking 20000 steps a day on top of all that! Yes, I'm naturally thin when I do all that - Dunkin Donuts here I come!

Btw I love working out and reading and art. No idea why it would be a case of just one. Working out keeps me sane. I was working out while I gained weight but most of it was from anti depressants so it’s been okay to lose now that my body has got rid of them I guess.

I would see a kindred spirit and feel bad that your vice is so visible, like mine. This is what makes me mad, the fact that no one can see a person who is disorganised or a tech addict or a needy partner or a fussy eater or online gambler or constant worrier. Everyone has something they are bad at and need to work on. But everyone gets to see when you are fat.

I believed on some level that fat people are somehow incompetent and because I'd always been overweight I put myself in that category and that self criticism poisoned every part of my life. I now believe in mid 40s that I am unfortunate enough that the world can see my failing but it's only one failing and everyone has their failures too. I don't know anyone flawless. Plus I'm bloody great at everything else!! I am working at my weight and that counts, whether successful or not. I refuse to feel ashamed anymore.

Well done on your loss for far OP!!

'Concerning'?

Why does the behaviour of others concern you?

Genuine question.

I don't really think anything when I see anyone, unless there's something incredibly remarkable or interesting about them.

What do I think generally of fat people, young, old, whatever? I feel lucky that's not me

TBF when someone deliberately states this, the fact that theu have said this makes me think, no you're not, you are exercising all the time or have a preference for carrot sticks.

It doesn't concern me personally. It doesn't have any impact on my life, but it's concerning for them. And if they were people I loved, then yes I would be concerned.

On a broader level, it's not exactly good to watch society fall into an obesity crisis. And I certainly wouldn't want my children growing up to think it's a normal way to be, or having their future loved ones impacted by it.

@Goldenbear people generally minimise or exaggerate statements so I tend to take with a pinch of salt.

Just like fat people who say
'I just eat salad' then go on that tv programme secret eaters and clearly eat more than that

I don’t obsess over my weight but I do exercise a lot- nothing to do with how I look- all about the mental health benefits for me. Doing a lot of exercise also doesn’t prevent me from reading or going to galleries.

I don't like cake so no but maybe cheese, yes, I haven't changed how I eat but my metabolism has changed in last three years so I know 40s is a choice often, to have the cheese or not have it all, the choice is not to have second round of cheese. To go sea swimming, the gym and running and to have the cheese or not do excessive exercise, go to an Art Gallery or go and see a Play with that time and don't have the cheese if you want to lose weight. Tbh I am under investigation for ovarian issues so I don't often eat loads but have put weight on rapidly.

Can't imagine a day in my life where I'd have so little going on in my own that I'd care what a random stranger looked like.

I do walk everywhere but I'm in my 40s and that doesn't keep the weight off anymore, I know from very thin friends, family the efforts they make and sacrifices and it's not for me when I'm slightly overweight.

@AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment I think what your thread has proved is that women unkindly judge each others weight whether they are fat or thin, and make massive assumptions about why each other are the size they are! So it doesn’t matter what size you are.
As long as you are happy with the size you are, it really doesn’t matter what others think. They will judge you no matter what.

OR of course, they will just pretend they love your scarf!

You realise it's possible to do both? You can do a YouTube exercise video, or sit on a stationary bike for half an hour a day and still go to watch a play or visit a museum.

It's not all or nothing, nor is it obsessive. I don't think about exercising outside of the times I am exercising or if someone brings it up.

Also, if you don't want to do the work then that's fine too. Your body. But do stop being so silly and acting like everyone else who puts in the effort can't also live a rounded life. You're only making your own argument sound weak.

Sorry to hear about your health issues, though.

Hope I don't get blasted for this, it is just an honest answer.

I think they are fat, disgusting and how did they let themselves get into so much of a state. Doesn't matter what age they are, unless they are very young then I think their parents are neglectful.

If I see someone who is fat because of obvious medical issues such as lipedema, moon face from steroid dependency etc I feel so much sympathy for them because they are stuck with an awful condition through no fault of their own.

I know obesity is complex, I know my awful thoughts are all social conditioning and mostly I know they are a projection of how I feel about my big fat morbidly obese self.

I am fortunate enough to be able to self fund weight loss injections and taking them now, I really hope they get me to a healthy weight (or at least "just" overweight) for the first time in decades, but I have a long way to go and once I do get there (positive thinking!) and begin to like myself a bit, I hope I stop projecting and will have a very different perception of others and their struggles.

I think so, too. I suppose it just proves the point she's trying to argue against really.

Some people really don't want to put the effort in. And that's fine, but the lying about it just odd.

I've been on here for 18 years so you'd think so wouldn't you. So yes, perfectly capable of balancing the time.

What about the post, I was genuinely asking as it is frustrating and wanted to know if it was worth the stress of worrying about it or whether it comes down to genes like being naturally thin does. weird and creepy that you have bothered to AS me by the way.

I do agree that thin people are almost forced into saying ‘I’m just lucky, I’m naturally thin.’
I’ve been what a lot of people would regard as thin. Although on here some posters are insisting it isn’t thin but hey ho.
I was asked if I’m naturally thin and I would find myself nodding along when in actual fact, no I’m not naturally thin. I had to work damned hard at it. I really enjoyed the results so thinking long and hard about my food and drink choices, exercising a lot was a determined effort. I exercised hard daily. I don’t just mean walking about a bit, but doing specific, sustained activities sometimes alone often with other like minded people who did it to build muscle/burn maximum calories etc. Eating high value foods. So no to burger and fries, yes to fresh fish and vegetables.
I had people come to an exercise session thinking they would give it a go and be the same size as me. Most of them only came once, they were under the illusion that it was a walk in the park when it absolutely wasn’t.
People don’t want to hear that though.
They prefer to think it’s all down to luck.