To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

No judgement on them personally, but I'll admit I assume they're missing out and remember the fun of getting dressed up and partying in my 20s.

I completely acknowledge that 1) they're just as capable of being happy with how they look and it might not affect them, 2) getting glammed up might not even be their thing.

I am, without a doubt, a product of 90s/early 2000s culture and it's absolutely coloured my perspective. Maybe that's just as unhealthy as being overweight.

I wouldn't ordinarily notice. Because there are so many overweight fat people it seems 'normal' these days.

26 isnt young to me! But if I saw someone who was very young who seemed to be struggling to walk and was obviously out of breath then I do feel bad for them and hope there is a way for them to be healthier. Actually I feel bad for older or slimmer people who appear to struggle too so my feelings not just because someone is fat.

I don't judge parenting as I'm aware being overweight/fat isn't as simple as just eating too much and being lazy. It goes a lot deeper than that most of the time.

Morbid obesity is usually noticeable, yes. The OP used the words ‘fat’ and ‘overweight’ so I don’t know why you feel people are lying about their reactions to that, given that more people are overweight than not in this country.

Fat child - I think the parents have let them down, and it's a damn shame.

Fat adults - that they eat too much of the wrong things and don't move enough. Yes, yes, I know for some people it's medical. But not every fat person has got that way because of a medical problem. They might now have medical problems, but that's beside the point. I wonder how in the hell they didn't see the weight creeping up and think "right, enough is enough!" before it reached that stage.

And honestly, when I see young obese women wearing crop tops and leggings or whatever, bellies out and arsecrack on show/straining through lyrca? If someone sits next to me and they're sweating, taking up my space? It makes me feel disgusted. It's not nice to see. Our bodies aren't meant to be that way, and I think it's a perfectly natural reaction to have. Just because being fat is more common these days doesn't mean it changes that.

Yes, as I said some cases it's not to do with unhealthy eating.

I've struggled to keep my weight down all of my life, so there is no individual judgement from me. That said, I was at a festival earlier this year and I was shocked at how very noticeably overweight/obese so many people were, including young people. I'm not talking 'carrying a few extra pounds' but clearly obvious overweightness. It was possibly more visible at the festival because it was warm and people were wearing less than they would for normal day to day life.

I'm all for body confidence and dressing how you want and having been shamed myself as a slightly overweight teenager, I would never do it to another person or be a part of it either. However, I think it is really important to look after our bodies, which is one of the reasons I persist in my life long struggle to maintain a healthy BMI. We only get one body and I see being overweight/obese as a serious cause for concern health wise. We know that the huge increase in type 2 diabetes is largely weight related and type 2 diabetes is just the start of all the other health complications that follow on from it.

my thoughts also....

If I see a very overweight child I just feel incredibly sad for them and being honest, yes I judge their parents for failing them.

I am overweight myself at a size 14/16 but unfortunately that is pretty normalised so I think someone would have to be really obese for it to even register with me. In which case I'd probably wonder whether they're unhappy as I know I'm unhappy with my weight.

It varies enormously. I saw a young fat person at the weekend and I thought "my goodness, he's got an amazing voice." I think it's rare that my very first thought on seeing a fat person of any age is about their size. Most people have individual characteristics that are much more interesting.

People are overweight for a variety of reasons, so I do try not to judge. I do think though that the health implications of being overweight (or underweight) can be worse as you age and so I do secretly hope they're able to maybe lose a little weight, or at least not gain more.

Nothing tbh.
Too busy running my own mind and worrying about my own stuff to notice or care about a strangers body.

I've been through periods of life overweight, so I tend to feel empathy.
Any judgement on my part is just reflective of a lifelong battle with my own incredibly poor self-image.

What do you actually think when you see a fat person?

If I noticed them at all (which I probably wouldn't, I mostly notice attractive people and to me that means slim or only very slightly over weight) I would probably think they were unhealthy and that it's a shame, so young.

It makes me feel sad and angry that being overweight is so normalised now. Such a large proportion of people are overweight. It cost the NHS a fortune and it's spiralled out of control. People can blame it on whatever they like, but it is laziness and bad habits.

I actually think we’ve become so skewed that we can see the difference between over weight and obese. A woman who is 5’6” for example who is at the upper end of ‘healthy’ would only need to gain 2.5 stone to be considered obese.

Up to two years ago I would have judged harshly. Then out of nowhere I gained over two stone, I ended up being diagnosed with uterine cancer. I had a hysterectomy and sepsis and lost all the weight. I’ll never judge anyone’s body as long as I live.

I find a lot of this supposed concern over people's health to be very disingenuous. Do you also feel upset and concerned when you see people in a pub garden drinking wine or beer? How about when you see people sunbathing on the beach? What about those who are underweight? Or do you just feel "concern" when the vice makes someone look less visually appealing?

I don't typically see people dangerously underweight half naked in front of me. If I did, I'd also have a visceral reaction.

If I was presented with an alcoholic with a jaundiced look, blotchy skin, swollen face and hands, etc., I'd have a visceral reaction.

There's a woman in my street who has and still does abuse sunbeds. Her skin is like crispy leather, and again, I feel a visceral reaction to it.

It's perfectly normal to feel something negative when you see these things. There are more visibly obese people in every day life than the above, but just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal. I can't help but see it. I can't help that my gut reaction is repulsion and that my brain thinks something should be done/have been done to prevent it.

I don't believe half of the people who say "Oh, I just see a nice scarf! What a cool bag!".

I'm 27 and I have no opinion on other peoples bodies. I have been both overweight (childhood and adulthood) and underweight. I know the difference you’re treated if you’re ‘thinner’ and it’s horrendous. It’s ridiculous to me the way people are treated based on the size of their bodies.

All bodies are beautiful. And I believe a body is a shell to the ‘soul’ - it’s just skin, your true self lies within and not what surrounds your bones.

And to add - if I see someone eating a Subway footlong sandwich I don't feel that reaction, nor would I if they're having a glass of wine or lounging on a beach. They could be one off things in a life of otherwise healthy choices.

It's the culmination of these choices every day that's concerning.

I don't pay much attention to other people most of the time. But if I did give it some thought, I'd think how worrying it is that so many young people are not taking good care of their health and that being fat when you're young is storing up health problems for the future. It's good that you're actively losing weight and taking charge of your health.

If they're doing those things to excess, and someone asks me if I'm concerned, then the answer is yes.

'repulsion'? And all your other visceral reactions, seriously? What other things do you think about other than people's looks.

Generally when someone has an illness or takes medication which causes weight gain, they are treated so often with cruelty and criticism. However, when someone has an illness which causes weight loss, other people are full of pity and sympathy.

If a terrible trauma leads to an eating disorder which causes weight loss, again lots of sympathy and kindness. A trauma which has caused binge eating or comfort eating...and the reaction from people is one of nastiness.

Don't be so silly. It's possible to think about more than one thing, you know? Are you telling me you wouldn't have any kind of reaction to seeing a grown woman's naked body if she were severely anorexic? Because if so, I just don't believe you.

Anyway, yes I do find it repulsive. There's nothing nice about seeing someone else's large overhanging belly. I don't want to see any random half naked when I'm in a cafe, but I certainly don't want to see that. It's just not nice.

Exactly this.

I then think promoting 'big is beautiful' is counter productive as it normalises obesity and being unhealthy.