AIBU for feeling soo upset about this?

[RoxyAlex77]

My father has invited a stranger into my house for 10 days -she is the daughter of some friends of his - I haven't met his friends either. I have moved to a different country 16 years go and my relationship with him is not close. I am expected to pick her up/ drop her off to the airport, shop and coook for her, take her out sightseeing. 😣

You're an adult. SAY NO!!!

“No dad, that’s not happening” is surely the only response to this?!?!?!?

If you don't want her there, tell him he needs to make an alternative arrangement.

I would be annoyed. Does he have history of being controlling?

You can just say "no".

Say no. He’s being ridiculous.

When did you find all this out? If it was weeks ago what did you say to your father? If it was the day before you are going to have to tell this stranger you can't take them sightseeing or provide free food. I would however take them to/from airport but the rest if it, no chance.

When are they due over?

You are "expected" but that doesn't mean you have to do it surely?

Just say no, that doesn’t work for me.

How the hell did that come about? Unless the first you knew of it was her ringing on your doorbell, there must have been a conversation and opportunity to say "No" ?

Also, ask for her contact details. I suspect even if you say no, this may not be relayed back down the line.

Contact her directly and say you have found out that your dad has made these arrangements, but they were without your knowledge and unfortunately this just isn't going to be possible.

You shouldn't have to do this, but if you don't get anywhere with your dad it will be the best was to stop it.

I’d absolutely refuse. That’s bonkers. I would demand a significant bond and daily board and keep and let him know that you work full time and won’t be playing your guide.

Well clearly you're busy and won't be able to facilitate this. Tell him.

Why didn’t you say no?
My family regularly ask if so-and-so can stay. I hosted my aunt’s friend’s daughter once when she was coming over to apply to flight school. Never met her before in my life but she is a lovely girl and I adore her mum. My house is open for people to stay but I always make it very clear the the offer is “bed only” and they are to make their own arrangements otherwise.

Some people love having visitors. I do not. The only person who has stayed in my house for that length of time is my mother, who is a good guest, and I’ve known her all my life. If someone (even my father) tried to foist a random guest on me, I would absolutely refuse.

If your father gets angry with you, let him be angry. Your comfort is more important than his embarrassment with his friends in this situation.

Just say no.

Refuse, guessing you're an adult?

Call him /email him back and say no. You are busy but even if you weren’t, you don’t want a stranger in your house. You are sure she’s lovely, but you still don’t want to offer your house to her or anyone else.

Why so passive? If it doesn’t work for you, say so.

I would just say no, that's ridiculous of him to expect you to do that

It sounds to me like there's a much wider back story to this. You're an adult - why are you being told you're 'expected' to do anything at your father's bidding? This is not a normal, healthy adult daughter - father relationship. Are you working? Are you able to work towards moving out of his house?

While at first glance this seems outrageous, I'd say that if you are financially independent I would reply quite neutrally saying "sorry for any misunderstand, this doesn't work for me"

And be clear it won't be happening

However, this is such an odd thing for one adult to do to another, and you seem so unsurprised that it has happened, I wonder what your financial situation is.

If you are not independent, if you are relying on an allowance or hand outs from your father then it's a bit more complicated.

Just say no your busy with work.

What's the problem? You ring him and say NOT HAPPENING.

If she - or anyone - turns up at your door you say GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

No-one can make you comply with this. You must realise this fact and take control of your life.

If it means ceasing all contact and relationship with your father so be it!

He can place all the expectations he likes on you, that doesn't mean you're obligated to fulfil them.

Send a message saying that won't work for you, then block him for a while.

You're an adult and live in a different country, how can your father tell you what to do? Does he own the house you live in? Does he pay your living costs?

If it's his house and he maintains you living there, then fair enough he can invite someone else to stay there. Still cheeky to expect you to do anything else though.

If it's yours and you're independent of him, No is a complete sentence.