I have a date would it be unreasonable to go casual?

[12yearslater]

I have a date this weekend, we've kind of got to know eachother over the last few months as spectators at a sports event. So he's seen me in my everyday wear and is obviously happy with how I present or I'm guessing he wouldn't have asked me out, do you think it's ok to go casual or should I make an effort and dress up a bit? When I say casual I'd wear outdated skinny jeans 😮, a niceish top and a pair of boots or flipflops, weather dependent. Any views or ideas appreciated. I would be most comfortable in what I have suggested.

Impossible to say without knowing roughly where you're going/what you'll be doing?

Where are you going and what are you going to do? It all depends on the occasion.

Wear what you like / makes you feel good if that's wrong" he wasn't for yiph

What kind of date is it? If it's just a cinema date and a pint in the local pub, casual is fine. If it's a meal or something nice, I'd dress up a little bit.

He's seen you in your everyday wear so it's also nice to see how someone scrubs up. When I was dating, I did a mixture of date types because I wanted to know if the man would make an effort and could look after his appearance when needed. I'm pretty laid back but I don't want to see jeans and trainers at a fancy restaurant. Had a boyfriend when I was doing my postgrad studies and he'd come to important dinner parties with me looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. Doesn't make a good impression.

Yeah totally depends where the date is.

My general look is pretty casual — boots, skirts, wide-legged wool trousers, slouchy jumpers, silver jewellery, scarves, so I’m much the same out for dinner as at work. But in your shoes, I think I’d be tempted to mark that this is a date rather than a casual encounter at a match by wearing something I wouldn’t wear to the match…?

Just tell him you aren't getting dolled up like it's a night at the opera and you aren't expecting him to either. Why are you making this an issue?

Wear what you feel most comfortable and confident in.

I wouldn't get dressed up for London at all. I wouldn't wear stained clothes but I wouldn't be busting out the high heels.

I don't know about cities other than London.

Actually, I am not even wearing makeup for dates at the moment. Fuck catering to the male gaze when I don't even know if I like them yet. But since you do know and like him, this might not apply.

Big difference in dressing up for dinner or wearing flip flops..!!

Just make sure you're wearing decent underwear.

@12yearslater i always say either take me as i am generally or dont so to speak, they either like you for you or they dont, its upto your level of attire

Big difference in dressing up for dinner or wearing flip flops..!!

This

But, as almost everyone has said, it depends on where you are going on your date.

Going to a nice villagey kind of pub for drinks in the evening.

I guess I'm making an issue out of it for a number of reasons, I've been single a long time and not been on a date in yonks so am a bit out of touch of expectations and don't want to get it totally wrong, also I'm worried if he makes an effort and I'm then underdressed, although having got to know him I think he's really quite laid back and whilst I don't think he'll rock up in shorts I can only imagine he'll wear jeans.

As everyone says - casual is fine for a date, but it may not be fine for the venue.

Going to a nice villagey kind of pub for drinks in the evening.

Jeans and a nice top, then.

If it's a nice villagey pub, I'd take a small step away from jeans. Nothing super dressy but maybe a nice long skirt or dress, no heels. Nice cardigan/jacket and whatever jewellery is your style. Nails filed/painted/whatever you do.

If you really, really want to wear jeans I'd wear them with nice boots and a well fitting top, splash of jewellery and your hair done nicely.

There's definitely a line between dressing nicely and being dressed up. I wouldn't go for the latter but I'd want to show that I'm versatile. Plus, it's nice to show off how pretty you look early on! It isn't dressing for them, it's dressing for you to give yourself a boost of confidence.

My God how many times did I write "nice"?! 🤣

That sounds great to me that he is the guy making an effort not wearing shorts, but if you know where you are going you can look casual but nice. But dress to your comfort zone. I know I couldn't be taken to a five star restaurant I could try and dress up but I'd feel so uncomfortable id be the worst date ever.

Flip flops are for the beach surely? I'd not wear those, but casual is fine!

Make a bit of an effort surely? Not flip-flops, don't have to go all out but just show a bit of interest, if you are interested that is?

Well to be precise it would be a Birkenstock thong , but that's still a flip flop. And it's all I've worn all summer, it's everyday footwear and I have several pairs, some I'd wear to the beach, others to work and others out for a drink!

Wear what you are comfortable with depending where you are going for a date.

And no trainers.

God no, my trainers are only used for working out and running in!

I would veer dressed up casual. It’s nice to make an effort for a date without going over the top.

I would also ditch the Birkenstocks now we’re in Autumn.

Definitely no flip flops! Smart casual. Comfortable but make a little bit of effort - it's a date!