Wedding cash gift - help how much please

[Weddinghappeningsoon]

Attending whole thing. Myself, DH, 10yr old and baby.

The bride and I know eachother basically as school mums. This summer is the first time we've seen eachother outside of school and it was only to take the kids to a park - twice.

So how much would you give? £50 £75 £100?

Shamelessly posting for traffic as it's very soon.
Tried a Google and search on here but loads of answers and circumstances not really covered so trying my own.
Google brought up a page with an online calculator that said £50 - £75 when I put our relationship as friends, but £100 as acquaintances. Which seems backwards to me.
Thanks.

I'm obviously extremely tight because the most I would give is £50 but I normally give £30...if I was an evening guest I might give a card and a bottle of something 🤷‍♀️
I'm absolutely not okay with the thought of seeing it as paying for my meal...I didn't ask to be invited, they asked me to celebrate with them. You should have the wedding you can afford...not have a wedding and hope all of your guests reimburse you for the cost of their meals via a 'cash gift'

Very sad.

Irish here too and def average for friends is €200 for friends and more for relatives.

Thank you!

It's sad that such a sweeping statement is given as fact. I've been to loads of weddings, at all kinds of venues and with varying budgets. At none of them have I felt I was being shown off to or expected to pay my way. They've all been lovely in different ways.

£100

We got married 20 years ago and most of our friends gave 50, some 100. So, given inflation, I would say 100

I'm always amazed at these threads. I think £50 is more than adequate.

Whether the wedding is at the Ritz or the local village hall should have no bearing on what you give, and it's the couple's choice to invite you, so you don't need to feel like you are contributing in some way.

Back when people had wedding lists, there were things on them ranging in price from sets of teaspoons or pairs of mugs at under £15 to expensive electicals or furnishings in the hundreds of pounds. So people could spend an amount which was appropriate to what they could afford and was fitting for their relationship to the couple. It's only since things have moved to cash that the amounts have got (IMO) ridiculous.

In Ireland we tend to give £100 per person going. Not kids obviously but at my wedding recently we got at least £200 per couple

You're not paying someone's invoice - it's a gift. So you give whatever you want, and can afford. Either £5 or £500 would be fine. I absolutely loathe this transactional idea that you are somehow paying for your food - you're not.

In many Asian cultures the 'expected' amount is based on the cost of the meal so I think the venue/cost of hosting the wedding is relevant and personally I would take it into consideration, not a strange concept to me. For weddings I've been to in the UK, we would usually give £200 per couple.

Oh me too - transactional sums it up.

@BuzzieLittleBee - absolutely. Lists were far better. How awful that you'd give a couple more just because they could afford a better venue and meal. Crass.

I know I am the significant minority, but I really hate giving money, even if they've asked for it, and would always buy a gift instead... Even if the gift were a gift card from e.g. John Lewis. A gift is mine to give and I love the idea that people remember what you gifted them. If you don't know what to give cash-wise, just buy them a present 👍

This. Over and over and over.

See when we got married 12 years ago most of our friends bought gifts that ranged from £20-40! I honestly think it depends on your social circles!

I agree. I absolutely hate giving money, I always preferred to give a gift.

I gave £30 but it was only me attending. It's what I could afford at the time.

£100 as a full day guest (if you can afford it) is pretty standard I think.

I gave £300 for friends to a wedding abroad this year for my husband and I. They hosted celebrations for two days.

Which they chose to do and were preseumably happy to do and to host you. Surely they weren't expecting you to pay them back?

It never crossed my mind when planning our wedding that it was a tit for tat thing and that anyone who wanted to get us a gift would base the value of it on our venue. That's just grubby.

Exactly.

Aside from the fact it's odd you have been invited.!

I tend to do £100 a couple ££50 if I'm attending alone.

At least £75 as it's your whole family going. I give £50 as a single person, and I think that's verging on the tight side these days.

We went to a wedding of DH's old friend who doesn't even speak to DH anymore and ignores all his messages.
To be fair, I don't know why we were invited or why we went.
It was a full day so we gave £100.