To think children need to do more housework

[Pickledhen]

OK so hands up I'm single and childless so prepared to been pilloried for even asking this.

I see so many women doing so much, working full time , childcare, housework at home and honestly don't know if I would be sane if I had to do it full time. Oftentimes husbands partners boyfriends aren't necessarily pulling their weight or are absentee, but concede they may not able to contribute to child and home care due to their own work commitments.

In saying all this, I see some parents doing absolutely everything for their children irregardless of their age. Many of my peers had to do chores before they were able to go out to play...make their own beds, clean their bedrooms, put washing in basket and do the dishes after meals...( yes I'm that old ...before dishwashers) ...so my question is this , do you do this or not? ...if so what age did you start getting your children on board with helping out at home? has it helped you coming into their later years? ...or.... if not why not o? is it unreasonable in modern society where commutes to/from school may be longer or some other reason that makes it more difficult to do this now.

Really I'm just curious rather than being judgemental whether it happens or not.

Lots of questions so probably not a straightforward AIBU

AINBU to expect children to do more housework
AIBU to expect children to not do housework

It was in brownies that I learned how to clean. I doubt they still teach that!

Mine don't do loads (we have a cleaner so we really just have day to day stuff to do ourselves).
But both of them - age 3 and 6 make the bed, keep bedrooms tidy, always tidy up their toys, hang coats up/put shoes away, dishes in sink, clothes in washing basket and little tasks like that...they actually argue over who gets to do a job if I need something 🤣🤣 (just like who would like to go upstairs and get....)

I never made mine do anything. He spontaneously started doing his own laundry when he was about 15 and his own cooking a couple of years later when he became vegan. No housework because I had a cleaner and I didn’t do any either!

My daughter has to tidy up her room, make her bed and feed the dog every day.

I say it’s none of your business. You do you. If you want any kids you have to do housework then fine. If another family chooses not to. That’s ok too, because guess what. It’s not the only way to teach a child. I never did chores as a child because my mum said she wanted us to all enjoy being a child. It was only once and life is precious. I’m a great homeowner and have been since 21.

I can’t quite tell OP whether you’re suggesting that children should do household tasks to make up for their fathers being useless, or whether you’re suggesting men are useless because they didn’t have chores as kids?

Anyway, yes, mine are being taught to “keep house”. It’s part of being a responsible human. They don’t have chores (they’re 4 and 7), at the moment it’s more that everyone pitches in together - if I’m sweeping one of them does the dustpan etc. I do have to remind DH that it’s ok that it takes them 10 mins to do a bad job when it takes us 2 mins to do a good one!

Im tempted to hand over laundry to the 7 year old though, he loves it, will sort colours, check the labels to separate delicates and figure out what can go in the tumble dryer!

but concede they may not able to contribute to child and home care due to their own work commitments.

Didn't read further than this. Total bollocks. If the lived alone, who would do their home care? If their wife died, who would do the childcare.

Excusing men like that is, frankly, inexcusable. Women don't use their vaginas to clean and rear children so why does having a penis make any difference?

Many of my peers had to do chores

Girls AND boys?

I have this wonderful video of my kids aged 2 and 5 hoovering, one with our actual hoover and the other with toy hoover. They were so helpful and lovely and I felt sure they would grow up to be so considerate and willing to do chores. Fast forward to the teen years and they are far less keen. They do help but as someone upthread mentioned, we are time poor. On school nights they do the dishwasher but then we are all dashing off to clubs. On weekends they do their bedsheets and hoover but again life is so busy. You have to find a balance.

DD (now 13) has always had "chores" that grew with her.

It's a small list as we have a pretty easy life style and I am around quite a bit.

She's responsible for her crap and keeping it tidy/sorted. Does dishes 5 nights a week.Empties all the little bins in the house. Sorts out the bedroom one a week (properly). Does the bathroom sink . Puts her white shirts to soak on a Friday. These are non negotiables. Every now and then she'll do other random jobs either voluntarily or because I asked her to.

Mine are 11 and 9. Both can cook an omlette or scrambled eggs. The older can do a cake from scratch and follow basic CBBC kids recipes. Both learn to manage their money weekly with pocket money. Both regularly unload the dishwasher, Hoover or help with bigger tasks like cutting the grass (11yo) or collecting hedge cuttings (9yo)

we are lucky enough to have a family business that they can work alongside us. I see too many youngsters with no work ethic. Both understand that chores have to be done, animals fed and everything looked after before you get on to the fun part of a day.

I despised being seen as 'workforce' as a child, especially as the only girl.

Get up 5.30 am, do a paper round, do housework, walk 3 miles to school, work all day at school, walk home, more bloody housework, homework, go to bed, rinse and repeat.

Any holidays projects would be found for which it was expected we would be the free workers, managed by my father who only saw himself as supervisory.

I resented it hugely and left home as soon as possible.

I think that it's great for children to get the habit of doing chores. Good training for being adults, and there's a potential for enjoying the task itself and the fact of joining in. Not so easy though if they really don't want to do it. I remember hating being asked to help wash up, I honestly believed it was my mother's job, which is a dreadful attitude to have picked up, and not one that she appreciated much either.

My kids have too long days at school and with masses of homework during the week, and busy at weekends. But during the holidays they do the laundry and cook a meal each. They do help unload / load the dishwasher normally. But I definitely do the lion’s share of domestic jobs.

Chores are so important for dc. It's not just the load they're lightening or skills they're learning, it's also good for their self esteem and help to develop an attitude where they can muck in and help get things done.

I work full time, have a teen and a toddler and a cleaner for 2h per fortnight- wish I could afford it weekly! Eldest is expected to keep her room presentable and walk the dog once a day. Toddler automatically tidied up after herself (thanks nursery) sets the table and makes her bed. I think some chores is really good for them no matter what their ages

Yanbu.

My 12 year old vacuums the house each weekend during term time and twice a week in holidays. Also irons own clothes.

My 9 year old dusts the house and empties little bins.

Both empty the dishwasher everytime it runs. Both pack away the weekly Tesco delivery.

Of course they clean and tidy own rooms and remove sheets from beds once per week.

They are very helpful.

My DC help out a lot around the house with little chores.

DH and I also teach them bigger jobs around the house, maintaining your home is an important life skill because it’s expensive and knowing how to take care of your things so that they last is important. Same with cooking, it’s good to know how to make meals from basic ingredients. You can learn to follow recipes when you’re older but cooking intuitively, understanding flavours, Ingredients and cooking processes is a whole other ball game.

I encourage my 3 year old to tidy up and he can use the pan and brush to sweep the floor, and sometimes the hoover when supervised. I want him (and his younger brother) to grow up with the ethos that as a family we are a team and all help each other.
Dp has come a million miles re housework so is setting a good example.
As my children grow i want to encourage them to learn what they can to help in the home but for it to be natural and enjoyable and not a chore or punishment.

My DC don't need to do more housework they already do plenty. Much more than I ever did as a DC.

As kids, we had no pocket money, but got paid for chores. So we got 10p for going to the shop. 20p for hoovering the house. 5p for making tea (parents ended up drinking a lot of tea!). The best was 25p for doing the dishes.
We got paid every Friday after everything was totted up.

12 yo in my house.

They are responsible for tidying and cleaning their room, and its inspected (yes I am that parent).

They also have to empty/load the dishwasher and clean our (their) pet out which is a biggish job.

During holidays and weekends this is extended to helping with washing (hanging out, putting away etc.) and a few other small bits like setting the table.

I think I’m very reasonable 😊

Oh and sometimes gardening, helping putting shopping away and hoovering. This isn’t every day though.

I never had chores to do growing up. My mum said I had a lifetime of chores ahead of me so to enjoy my childhood.

I left home at 18 and quickly learned how to do what i needed to do to keep myself clean and fed.

I don't make my DD do chores either but she does do various chores without being asked. I'm a single parent and she appreciates what I do.

The unequal split of housework and mental load was a huge part of why I kicked him out.

I brought my kids up to help with chores. I expected toys to be picked up before bed time. Setting the table, tidying up shoes on to shoe rack. Then as they got a bit older making their bed and bringing laundry down to be washed. Collecting dirty towels from all bathrooms and bringing down to be washed. They used to strip beds on Saturday mornings for washing bedclothes too. Also recycling sorting cardboard and paper from glass and plastics. Helping to put shopping away. Stuff like that.