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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Might be being petty AF

69 replies

TheOddSocks · 06/09/2024 09:32

Happy to be told I'm being petty AF here but it's actually driving me mad.

I've recently started reacting to dairy so I'm trying to cut it out completely.

I've been buying DF alternatives and it seems to have been disappearing quite quickly and twice this week I have gone to make a coffee to find there is none left. Similarly I went to open DF cheese I had bought to find half of it gone.

I know I haven't finished the milk as I only use it for coffee and I know I didn't open the cheese. Everyone has denied opening it (could have been a simple mistake so was just highlighting that's it's DF). This morning I've just seen DH using the DF milk in his coffee. Why when there is normal milk he can and always has happily used is he now choosing the only one I can have.

He's obviously been the person using it and prob used the cheese and I asked him this morning to stop and he just said "ah sorry" and walked away.

I wouldn't even mind if it was for a coffee and he noticed we'd ran out of normal milk but that isn't the case. We have a shop 2 mins down the road but it doesn't sell DF so I need to either order it or jump in the car and go to the shop further away.

I know this is stupid but it's just another in a long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour that I seem to be the one impacted by.

OP posts:

ForgotThePlantsAgain · 06/09/2024 09:33

It's not stupid it's selfish.

bestbefore · 06/09/2024 09:34

That would really wind me up!

bubblesandlight · 06/09/2024 09:36

It would piss me off and I would stop buying dairy and just buy df now so you don’t keep running out

GlowWurm · 06/09/2024 09:37

Definitely just buy dairy-free from now on, but the bigger problem is:

it's just another in a long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour that I seem to be the one impacted by.

Spenditlikebeckham · 06/09/2024 09:39

Exh was similar. I was vegi. He wasn't. He helped himself to all the stuff I had gotten for myself.

Exh....
He has no respect for you op.
Consider if this shows in other areas...

pinkyredrose · 06/09/2024 09:42

Did he say why he's doing it? Does he not like you or something? He sounds like a disrespectful idiot.

BleachedJumper · 06/09/2024 09:42

I think in an otherwise good relationship, I would just ask my partner if they preferred the dairy free milk I was getting, and if they did I would just get all dairy free going forward.

VestPantsandSocks · 06/09/2024 09:44

Write your name or DF in big letters on the products.

Then he has no excuse for using it.

RaspberryBeretxx · 06/09/2024 09:46

This is really seriously calculatingly unkind behaviour from him. You are not being petty. He doesn’t want you to have anything “special” and is happy to make your life worse/harder in order to let you know that.

TheSandgroper · 06/09/2024 09:46

That’s deliberate behaviour, mate. It’s not even just marking his territory - it’s flat out refusing to allow you food that doesn’t make you ill. That’s the bit that’s making him happy.

So, now you know.

Bananaramad · 06/09/2024 09:46

Only buy DF in future if he likes it so much he can have it all the time.

Begsthequestion · 06/09/2024 09:49

Yeah that's really odd, uncaring behaviour.

Alittlebitfluffy · 06/09/2024 09:49

Just replace it with oat milk which tastes just as good as dairy. Then you can use the same one!

Sheelanogig · 06/09/2024 09:50

Just buy DF.
Though why he'd want DF cheese over non-DF cheese.

Purplecatshopaholic · 06/09/2024 09:51

My ex did stuff like that. It was a long line of ever increasing things done to show disrespect and actual contempt. Note the word ex…

Spenditlikebeckham · 06/09/2024 09:53

If he is a drinker consider getting him alcohol free next time he wants a drink... Tell him you thought he was being healthier...

LifeIsNeverKind · 06/09/2024 09:53

He just doesn't give a fuck, does he? I think you need to talk to him about his 'long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour'. Although, sadly, I suspect he won't give a fuck about that either. At least not until he is impacted in some way (not saying you need to be equally shitty to him by the way, it's not a game).

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 09:54

Can I just ask which dairy free cheese you're buying that's so nice someone would willingly eat half a pack? Without exception, all vegan cheese I've tried is horrible.

WingingIt101 · 06/09/2024 09:57

This would drive me mad. It's not petty of you, it's inconsiderate of him.

DD and I are coeliac so whilst the majority of our shopping is gf and the whole house just has gf pasta etc there are some things like biscuits and cakes that I can't justify the extra cost of gf for everyone, so we have a packet of £2 biscuits (about 8 in a pack) and a pack of 50p normal biscuits for dh and dd2. I frequently find people have had the gf ones before the normal ones are gone, or at parties when a specific plate of gf is done for us it might be slightly different things due to what's available gf and people help themselves to it despite labelling

Drives me mad

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 09:57

My DP is DF so I buy only DF milk (otherwise I was mixing it up and putting the wrong stuff in his or my tea absent mindedly).

I'd suggest putting the cheese in a plastic tuperware in a drawer which makes it harder for him to use.

Also tell him not to be an arse otherwise just buy only DF cheese.

RogueRascal · 06/09/2024 09:59

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 09:54

Can I just ask which dairy free cheese you're buying that's so nice someone would willingly eat half a pack? Without exception, all vegan cheese I've tried is horrible.

We got asda free from grated mozzarella alternative recently, makes a good toastie!

Op - wouldn't mind the OH using my milk, finishing it is out of order though...

On a side note we buy 3 different types of butter for me, DP and DS so understand the challenge

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 10:00

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 09:54

Can I just ask which dairy free cheese you're buying that's so nice someone would willingly eat half a pack? Without exception, all vegan cheese I've tried is horrible.

You can buy LACTOSE FREE normal cheese (cheddar and soft). It's not dairy free but it taste perfectly normal and delicious. I assumed that was what OP meant. Same with milk - you can buy normal milk just LF due to addition of lactase enzyme.

gardenmusic · 06/09/2024 10:02

bubblesandlight · Today 09:36
It would piss me off and I would stop buying dairy and just buy df now so you don’t keep running out

That's it, Just buy dairy free. When he has to use it, he may decide he does not want to. Just don't buy dairy anymore.

CautiousLurker · 06/09/2024 10:08

Just stop buying the dairy version and when he asks why there isn’t any say that as he’s happy to eat yours, you assumed he was happy to switch. He can then go and buy his own. Btw, the long life DF alternatives are pretty much identically flavoured and textured, so I’d pop a couple of those in the back of the cupboard for when you run out. (We’re a dairy/lactose free household as kids and I are lactose intollerant. DH could care less what he puts in his coffee, so it’s easier for us all to use the same stuff).

ChampagneLassie · 06/09/2024 10:12

Sort of the reverse. My children are both intolerant and I had to cut dairy too as passes through breast milk. I kept forgetting to buy dairy things so my DP just eat the dairy free stuff and now prefers it. If you’re the one doing shopping just buy DF for all. BUT I’d be pissed off at his lack of care and thought.

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