To HATE going on holiday with a baby

[Al991]

This is a rant, just a warning.

Have gone on a UK hol with my 12m old and oh my god I’ve hated every second of it.

Despite initially struggling a lot with PND I handle parenting pretty well at home now. I feel in control, have smiles and laughs with her and enjoy it but OMG being on holiday with a baby is shit.

First of all as soon as you arrive, you wish you didn’t have a baby. I never feel like this normally but everyone is having a lovely bloody time drinking wine, going on long walks, playing cards into the night and am I?? Bloody no!! I’m cleaning up sick, trying to get her to eat, trying to keep her entertained without her usual 5000 toys. It’s awful. I feel guilty for hating it and for thinking how lovely this would be if she weren’t here!!

Her sleep is shit while away, don’t know why, the travel cot looks really uncomfortable tbf. I’m sick to death of rocking her back to sleep.

Honestly I am shocked, I thought I was passed this stage of just hating parenting. Woke my partner up in tears at 4am after the FIFTH atine trying to put her down in her cot just saying how much I bloody hate this holiday and how shit it is.

We are going home today thank god. Fingers crossed her sleep goes back to normal and she doesn’t keep doing this cos it’s a nightmare.

I stg I don’t know what’s wrong with me, loads of people I know travel abroad and stuff with babies all the time and seem to enjoy it??? So why can’t I get the hang of this?

Hugs OP. Holidaying with a 1 year old is hard work.

When my DD was 1, we hired a lovely villa in Spain. About 4 days in, I was raging that I was basically doing all the same shit that I was doing at home, picking up stuff, cleaning up sick, making several thousand snacks and washing and sweeping up. Except it was 34c and I was hot and bothered and getting no rest either. I was also pregnant with my DS and I was fucking fed up. It wasn't a holiday for me.

So solidarity- I've been where you are. I was also glad to get home. We went on an all inclusive cruise the following year and I had a completely different experience. I loved it. No picking up stuff, safety for the kids, no cooking, someone turning down the room each day. Bliss!

I would hate this. Imagine not being able to have a single glass of wine on holiday! I only drink on special occasions, but I wouldn't miss an evening drink on holiday for Co sleeping.

😂

Center Parcs is the way to go!!

I think going away with childless people makes a holiday harder when you have young children. You see what they’re doing, and feel you’re missing out.

Going away as a little family, you can follow your baby’s lead, and enjoy your holiday around them.

I also personally think UK holidays are usually shit, whether you have young kids or not. The weather is just as shit everywhere, and you don’t have the convenience of home.

Could you try a foreign holiday? All inclusive overseas means no cooking, playing on the beach/in the pool all day and wearing them out. Sleeping outdoors in a pram, listening to their parents chatting near them etc. My DC is only 2.5yrs, so appreciate it may get harder! But we’ve had a really genuinely enjoyable summer holiday for the last 2 years. Parenting in a hotel where you’re being catered for is infinitely easier than being at home and having all of the drudgery as well as the childcare (in my opinion).

I used to hate going on holiday with mine when they were babies/ toddlers! Its stressful and not much fun at all, much easier being at home with them. It gets much easier when they are older.

You're not wrong OP. My children are 6, 10 and 11 now and this was the second year it felt really manageable with flights, trains etc. We tried the South of France when our first was 9 months, I felt delirious with the lack of sleep, the heat etc. After that we went to centre parts out of season with the toddlers. (Fine as all you need is the pool and parks), Family Luxury Hotels with a listening service and childcare included or an air b n b near a beach in the uk. It was a bit boring but actually nice and easy. Then my partner and I would go away with friends separately for a few nights.

I was with friends who don’t have children

I think this was the biggest problem. You need to holiday with your partner or friends with kids so you are in the same situation.

Oh God I just realised you're away with childless friends. Hell NO. Like I say we are away right now with our 13 m/o and enjoying it and we've done previous holidays which were nice but only because we plan things meticulously around what works for us. So we time the naps so we can chill a bit, and take turns having a break, and do child friendly stuff. A long lunch with childless friends is the most I can manage as it's hard to fit round different expectations.

Big mistake going on holiday with childfree friends.

Totally agree

Whilst everyone else is on boat trips (which they're surprised you're not coming on, with a five year old and two year old )
you're doing nap time, again

And then people are surprised why you're going to bed 'so early' at 9pm

Cos I've been up since 5.30am, you idiot

Holidays with babies can be great if the baby is less than 6m old. Preferably less than 3m! After that it's constant slog into they are about 4, and then partially slog for a few years after that.

Going away with people without kids is a bad idea, it'll just remind you of what you're missing.

I still loved,/holidays, but yeah, they are very very different. Not at all relaxing.1-3 probably being the hardest.

We did a long weekend at a nice UK caravan park with our at the time 8 month old.
Never again! it was same routine but different walls. It took FOREVER to settle him in the travel cot. Taking him out to restaurants I found extremely stressful, trying to eat quickly & keep the baby occupied so he didn't kick off & disturb anyone else.
We won't take him aboard until he's at least 3, I couldn't cope with the stress of it all.

Ah OP not unreasonable at all. I was full of plans to go travelling on maternity leave 😂 ha! One DC that woke every 30-60 minutes for 6 months and one who would projectile vomit after every feed. Not a hope. We still went away a few times as have family abroad, so got to experience the fact they know they're in an unusual environment/out of routine so everything goes up in the air.

There are many people who have chilled DC and the mindset to make it work. Turns out I am not one of them!

Yes it’s really hard isn’t it!!! I used to find staying with relatives even worse to be fair. I hope you can make the best of it or in future find something that works better. They’re not tiny forever.

The best holiday I've taken with young children (from about 2) is honestly Butlins. An hour from home, food included (basic but includes easy beige for the kids 😂), not too hot, set up fully for kids and parks, pools, soft play, activities, puppet shows etc on site. And enough kids around that no one gives a shit if yours are being difficult.

But this sums up holidays with small ones really. If they are happy, they will give you the peace to be happy.

My absolute worst holidays were the couple times we were the only ones with a baby / toddler along. Tried a couple of times but my whole rhythm was off so I was awake when everyone else was sleeping and then ready for my bed as soon as everyone was moving to the wine. Much easier and more enjoyable to have family holidays or travel with other children. It gets better all the time though and now my kids are older (11/8) it's super fun exploring with them. It was hard work at the start but definitely easier once they were 3/4 so out of high chairs, toilet training etc - to be honest parenting in general got easier then!

It's super fun to see them enjoying new things so I'm sure you'll have more fun with it soon :)

You mention the baby being sick (and your DP having a stomach bug). So was she actually poorly? That could explain a lot.

DC1 was one of those dreamy / easy babies. Went abroad when he was 18 months old. He slept at least 2 hours round the pool every afternoon and then fell asleep in his buggy after dinner and was down for the night.

DC2 couldn't even last through a lunch. Never dared take her away as a baby!!

Definitely not being unreasonable! We take our toddler away relatively frequently and, if you just looked at the pictures we post, it would always look glorious. But it’s not 😂 Like your little one, DS just doesn’t sleep well in new places, and then he takes a couple of weeks to resettle when we get home. And the lack of toys or baby proofing where your stay… ooh it makes it tricky. As a PP said, it really is the same job but somewhere less convenient. We actually just cancelled our next overseas holiday and wanted to cancel a more local one, but it’s paid for and not refundable. Anyway. That’s a lot of blabber from me just to say, you aren’t alone!

You need to just go to Center Parcs, it’s all set up for babies and young families and everyone there is in the same boat as you. Reassuringly, a good chunk will be having a worse time than you. Baby kicked off while you eat? Who cares, so is everyone else’s kids, tuck in and enjoy.

So if you're child free (either by choice or not) you should just decline any offers of a holiday with people with kids so that you're not 'rubbing their noses in it?' Got it.

Ah, sorry OP. It does sound relentless especially if your baby isn't sleeping, and the main attraction of where you are is drinking wine with friends/long walks/anything else that isn't baby-compatible.

My DC are 2 and 4 and we've had some really enjoyable UK holidays together, but I've found the key is staying somewhere with lots of activities for them nearby, preferably in the open air. That way, you tire the little darlings out as much as possible while also not needing to solely entertain them yourself, and then you can hopefully get a good few hours of adult conversation/dinner/wine in the evenings.

I'd recommend Bluestone and also Coombe Mill in Cornwall for this, but there are lots of other alternatives too. Expensive during the school holidays but with a 1 year old, you have a while before you have to think about that.

Wow this thread is an eye opener...
Me and DH are planning a trip to Turkey with friends (one couple). DS at the time will be 14 months and the couple's kids will be 16 months & 2.5 yrs.
Are we insane for attempting this 😅, I'm scared!

Not insane! But don’t expect a relaxing holiday! I remember a trip to Portugal when our youngest was 3….. she couldn’t swim, kept taking her arm bands off, and running off to jump in the pool!!!