Anyone else feel like they’re always waiting?

[waitingalways1]

It’s hard to explain.

I feel like I am always waiting for something to happen. I have no idea what I’m waiting for and I don’t think there actually is anything I am waiting for but it’s a really unnerving feeling.

First it was waiting for the wedding then the honeymoon, then for the first baby to be conceived and then be delivered, then mat leave to be over and then next baby conceived, then mat leave to end then to move house, then final baby to be born and mat leave to end. All of these things have happened in a short ish period of time.

Does anyone else feel like this? I really want to overcome it as I feel like it’s a real barrier to happiness.

Yes I definitely know what you mean.

Right now I feel like I'm waiting for my youngest to finish nursery and start school because it will make everything easier both practically (both children being in the same place) and financially, and for me to finish the professional qualification I'm doing (both of these are 2 years away).

Living in the future, like living in the past, takes all joy out of life

Teach yourself to live in the now. The absolute now, this second. The present is the only real thing there is

Mediation will help. Its hard work because you have to keep forcing your mind out of the future and into feeling and living now

Videos on utube

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace I can totally relate to this. It's such a strange feeling isn't it?

@Bestyearever2024 thank you. You're very very right. It's quite depressing when you think about it. I will have a look at some mediation thanks

True happiness comes from living in the present. It’s taken me 34 years to realise this.

I don’t meditate, but I reflect a lot, sometimes journaling, and generally focus on what gives ME joy.

For me it has always been 'jam tomorrow ', and to be honest the jam has never really arrived, and now I'm late 60s I don't think it ever will. It's sad, and it's not saying that I have not had a happy, fulfilling life, but there are so many 'what ifs' and 'should haves'.

Don't be me.

Are you a second or subsequent child? I spent most of my childhood waiting to be as old as my elder sister was before being allowed to do anything. So for example my sister had her ears pierced at 13, (I was 10) so I had to wait 3 years until I could have mine done. I felt I was constantly waiting for one thing or another.

I can relate to this, I feel like I can't even relax and enjoy my house or garden because I'm always waiting for things to be perfect and obviously they never are, it's a strange feeling

If you like to read try ‘A new earth’ but Eckhart Tolle. Changed my life!

‘The Power of Now’ as well

I was always waiting for something else. Got married, 2 children, 25 years married, divorced. Children now grown up, ex never speaks to me. Finally the penny has dropped. I wait for nobody. I get on with MY life.

That feels better.

I'm no longer going to be a 'lady waiting'

A horrible way to feel and I think I did feel like that when I was less happy. Now I feel more content with life I don’t wait half as much and look less to the future or the past.
I wonder if the feeling is related to not feeling completely happy about some areas of your life and this is how it is playing out for you?

I feel like this! Always waiting for the next thing for life to feel like it starts properly.

So I was waiting to be able to buy a house
Then I was waiting for my now DH to finish his PhD
Then I was waiting to get engaged
Then for our wedding
After our wedding I was waiting for work on our new kitchen to start
Then for our kitchen to be finished

Now I am waiting for DH to find a better job and waiting to be able to afford our forever home.

Honestly I feel sometimes like I am just waiting until retirement!

I think it stems from childhood, always waiting for the next school holiday, school year, 6th form, Uni etc. One day I’m going to realise I was living my “real life” this whole time!

You need to learn to live in the present moment. I suggest the books The Power of Now or A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

Just saw these have already been recommended, I second the recommendations.

@Coffeeisnecessary I relate to this! I have waited three years for my house to be “finished”. And now it is, I am waiting to be able to afford to move somewhere bigger!

You’re right, it is a real thief of happiness. I have managed to snap out of it for the most part, but therapy/meditation etc should help, I think the world is set up for you to think “what next” but it’s a rotten headspace to be in!

I disagree with the people saying you need meditation or to live in the present. To me, the "waiting feeling" happens when life is boring. Maybe you're bored. Maybe you need more from life. Some excitement, some enjoyment.
Not everyone feels fulfilled by raising kids, paying bills, watching TV in the evening and joining a local sports group.

There will come a day when what you are waiting for (death) does not appeal in the slightest. I would suggest you enjoy the day you have.

I have this same exact feeling and have since I was a child! I read “the power of now” many years ago but wasn’t able to change how I feel, maybe I should give it another try. Will save this in case there are more recommendations!

Yes I relate. Can’t remember who/where said it but I agree that living in the past = depression and living for the future = anxiety. (Obviously depression and anxiety is more complex than that). Hard not to do the tick-box thing but also if you’re gonna do them and you’re in the right circumstances, then why wait? I got married at 22 because knew it was gonna happen eventually so why wait.

Yes! And it never really gets better. I'm now waiting for retirement but got twenty years to go... I am never satisfied.

Thing is I am happy with my life. But who wants to stagnate? Maybe it’s as simple as that.

But also I’m starting a new job and scared shitless and wish I had just stayed a SAHM. But when I was a SAHM I had a constant crisis of ‘what am I going to do with my life??’. We don’t grow inside of our comfort zones I guess.

I don't feel this way all the time. In fact I have times of feeling great contentment, satisfaction and peace but I know the feeling you mean.

Like I'm aching to get to X point in my life and for Y to happen but for me I don't know what X and Y are.

If someone asked me "what would truly make you happy?" I wouldn't know how to answer. And it's not because I am unhappy. It's because I genuinely don't know thr answer (well besides the usual "more money / more time"). I have all the basics covered and I'm incredibly grateful for that but I also have that nagging feeling that there has to be more out there?

I've had a lot of upheaval over the last few years and a horrific bereavement and I feel in a period of flux.

As I say I'm not unhappy. Just uncertain maybe?

Yes I can relate to this. The hing Is when there's nothing to wait for I feel a bit lost.

@GuiltyForEver I'm 62, I totally get that feeling